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A serious question.

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Do you really and truly ever know anyone?

Recent events have caused me to question this.

Example #1 –  A very old friend of ours from the Marine Corps days.  A country boy from North Carolina, married his high school sweetheart, 2 beautiful kids, gorgeous farm house, a Christian conservative, loved his momma etc. etc…. Five years ago he dumped them all, moved to D.C. and married a ballsy independent career woman. Bought a large boat, got a high paying new job in financial management… and said he was living the dream. We were shocked. Two weeks ago? He dumped wife #2 and moved on to wife #3, who is younger, blonder and richer. Turns out wife #2 had bailed him out of bankruptcy twice and refused to do it again. He’s turned his back on his kids, doesn’t speak with his family, is head over heels in debt, and has a whole new set of high income drinking friends. I seriously don’t know who this man is. And now I wonder if I ever did. ( And oh, btw? His current job? The Federal Government’s office of financial management. Yay for all of us. )

Example #2 –  I recently reconnected with an old friend from my teenage days. She’s been happily married for 25 years to a guy’s guy.  Flannel shirts and boots, antique auto restorer, always in the garage under an engine. A real grease monkey gear head. In late September he called her into the living room and said he had something to tell her. When she walked in, he was wearing her short black dress, her high heels and way too much of her makeup. He told her he was transitioning into a woman and wanted her to stay in the marriage as a lesbian. She had absolutely no clue! None! And to add insult to injury? The homebody husband who never wanted to go out to dinner, who never touched alcohol, who never took a vacation trip and who hadn’t left the state in 15 years… is out clubbing, dancing, drinking and going away for weekend holidays.

Seriously…

Do we ever really and truly know anyone?

36 thoughts on “A serious question.”

  2. Jeez what a trail of wrecked lives. The first guy is just a completely selfish plick and the second even more so. I can accept his life changes but not his expectation they his wife stay with him as a lesbian! Seriously WTF??
    I want to feed them both laxatives to stomp the shittery out of them

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    1. I agree with the first description. The second is a bit more complicated. While I sympathize with his situation and wish him well transitioning… it totally blindsided my friend and she’s an emotional wreck, so I totally want to kick in him in his soon to be history balls!

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  6. I think everyone has deep, dark, holy crap I’d have never guessed that in a million years kind of secrets. Most people are good at keeping their dark sides to themselves, thus why these things come across as so shocking when someone’s hidden personality comes out…

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      1. Right? I mean your post asked a really good question, do we REALLY know someone? But this is beyond what I had imagined what “knowing” someone could be. Just the emotional shrapnel that friend #2 is dealing with, I mean that alone can crush someone’s view of relationships.

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  9. This isnt PC to say, but I think insanity is running rampant in our society. A combo of the number of prescriptions that people are on, the chemicals in our foods, and a ramping up of encouragement of selfishness. Being a mature, responsible adult isnt as much fun as being a selfish adolescent.

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  10. Okay, my father came out in his 40’s and that was too late, but it wasn’t okay to come out in 1967 when he married my mother, so I sorta get it. I feel badly for her though. What a waste of her time, truly. Like, I’m all for people being who they are and living their dreams. I do feel though, on a personal level, that there is something about my own marriage which is I married him as is and I didn’t marry a woman, never even thought about it, and so to me, this is not an option. My husband would not make a good woman either. His sister’s a foxy lady, but she has no beard, and plenty of hair and well, you know, she doesn’t stand around scratchin her balls and spittin and she always has hand cream. I just don’t think my husband could give womanhood a fair shake. Non-negotiable.
    For about three years, it seemed like EVERYONE WE KNEW was getting a divorce. Men dating women their daughters’ age was a big trend. Not a fan. Creepy. Don’t care who you are, creepy.
    I tell you what this taught me — I don’t take anything at face value. You think people share your values until you ask them. MMMHM.
    Also, I am very sad for Scenario #2 wife, but I think #1 is lucky she escaped the worst of it.
    Also, I was almost Mrs Duncan, and I knew Mrs Duncan #1 and I knew Mrs Duncan #2. None of us knew Mrs Duncan #3 so we couldn’t warn her, but then, would she even listen? Will there be #4? #5? Poor dears.

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    1. While I can sympathize with having to be true to yourself, I think it’s the way he did it… with no warning or thought to her emotional reaction…. that makes me want to strangle him. That, and the fact that he’s stealing her favorite bras. Very rude.

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