So a certain blogger (who shall remain nameless unless he/she actually wants to take credit for this post) sent me a link to a product that I found the day after Thanksgiving.
Having just enjoyed copious amounts of turkey, I admit it made me think twice about ever eating one again. It seems we never really know what those birds are up to pre gluttonous feast.
This post will pass along further information for what I think is probably the best Christmas stocking stuffer ever.
For your husband, your brother, your uncle, your cousin…. Hell, for every man in your life.
Give them to your mailman and the guy who changes your oil.
You can thank me later.
If you clicked the link, you’ll realize I wasn’t talking about those delightfully revolting pink Hostess treats that look like Tribbles.
It’s another thing entirely.
No, I’m not kidding…
And some of the descriptions are funnier than the product itself.
“Summer is a decidedly, uh, swampy time for many men and the summer of 2019 has been especially hot and humid throughout most of the northern hemisphere. Dress loose and in light fabrics all you want, eventually the heat hits you in the crotch.
It’s a uniquely male problem and one underwear company has the solution to that and more. Snowballs basically wants to ice your ‘nads back into the comfort—and fertility—zone.
Being able to walk around with your ‘nads air-conditioned without risking indecent exposure is pretty appealing. And Snowballs claims their product can do more than just frost the funk away from your nether regions.”
Swampy?
Yeah, no one wants that.
“From setting sprays to chafing balm, ladies have a few tricks up their sleeves when it comes to handling the heatwave.
But now men have found something to help them out on scorching hot days — freezable pants.
Over on Amazon, a brand called Snowballs Underwear is selling “scientifically-backed cooling underwear”.
The underwear comes with ice packs — dubbed “SnowWedges” — that men are able to put in the freezer before popping into a pouch that sits over the groin.”
And before you decide the whole thing is just a joke, here’s a video to prove icing your balls, sack, nuts, jewels, sweetbreads, Christ…what term won’t get me kicked off WordPress? parts has actual medical benefits.
There.
Now don’t you feel better knowing these exist?
Just remember…
You saw it here first.
I think you may have intercepted your good neighbors’ “naughty nighty” gift catalog.
Well, no …not really.
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I’ll never look at them the same way again!
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My eyes can’t unsee those turkepants!! 🤯
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You’re welcome.
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Ha! Thanks for making look at that again! Kudos on the additional research too.
P.S. I’m not the one that sent the link. I was just a lucky early recipient of it.
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Don’t want to take credit? Very magnanimous of you…
😉
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44 years as a man, and I just now find out I should be worrying about the temperature of my testicles? Well, the bright side to that is now I know why I don’t have any annoying brats of my own…
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I strive to be educational as well as entertaining…
😉
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This post in my reader feed had me squinting at the pictures…”what in the heck is tha–” Not sure whether to thank you or sue you for mental anguish.
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A little of both I’d imagine…
😉
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Um…..ewwww, those turkey underpants, just eww….🙄
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Well, not everyone can pull off the look.
😉
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This may be the only time of year where a guy could wear those in confidence. All other times it’d be best to stick with Pinocchio or elephant trunks.
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Which are equally revolting I’m afraid….
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Well, I woudn’t wear them either, I was just saying.
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Who knew there was an entire underworld – a deep state, if you will – of men’s specialized undergarments? And who knew you’d stumble into that underworld by innocently googling “turkey stuffing?” Be careful out there, ladies…!
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It’s a slippery slope. Beware…
😬
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That’s why there is a ‘safe search’ option. Well, there is that option while using google. 😉
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I hope right-wing zealots don’t hear about that “Maximize Fertility” underwear for men — this country has more than enough mindless sicko-phants as it is.
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And sicko-pants as well…
😉
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But do those turkey underpants say, “Gobble, gobble?” Are you sure these aren’t more Duluth Trading products? Who knew that men’s nether regions could have such extremes, swampy or snowy? Oh my! 😯
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I was woefully ignorant as well.
Now…
I wish I still was.
😳
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Since I go ‘commando’–ask your Marine husband–this post was a total waste of time on me!! LOL
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Ditto for husband.
Enough said.
😉
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What has been seen cannot be unseen.
Thanks for that.
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No problem!
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I Am TRAUMATIZED
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Apologies.
But if I had to look?
You have to look as well.
Friends share.
🤣
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I can’t really argue with that logic since I epitomize it myself.
It’s no fun when your friends don’t behave betterer !
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Brilliant and very disturbing
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Exactly the response I go for on my blog.
😉
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I’m LMAO over here! 🤣🤣🤣
And … um … placing my order. 😎
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Be sure and write a review!
Inquiring minds want to know….
😉
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Nope. Ice cubes on my manly bits? Uh uh!
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Understood. They should include a warning about the shrinkage side effect.
😉
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I knew about the cooler pants. How nice if one’s conception issues can be addressed by cooler pants…
Anyway, from turkey pants I shan’t recover.
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They do have staying power on the eyes…
Apologies.
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JESUS CHRIST! I read this and all I can think of is how much of my life I have wasted with my junk smothered in those pedestrian man panties. Finally something with style. I really can’t (Won’t?) thank you enough.
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You can thank me by not posting pictures when you buy a pair…
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No worries. I showed the pic to Cathy and she made it clear that there would be no turkey skivvy shorts in my underwear drawer ever. That was great for a laugh, I must say.
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