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Things I learned while grocery shopping.

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I ventured out of my lock down burrow yesterday and went grocery shopping for the first time in 21 days. It was quite a learning experience.

I learned Wal Mart has a bizarrely convoluted maze of barricades at the entrance so you can’t use the same door as those who are exiting. They have staff wiping down carts, cashiers wiping down check out lanes and six foot distancing markers on the floors. The one thing they didn’t have?

A single employee wearing a mask.  To which I say…. WTH?

At my second stop, a grocery chain called Shaws…. I learned there are 2 staff members with clickers and clipboards counting customers at the entrance so no more than 75 people can be in the store at the same time. They have arrows for one way aisles, distancing markers at the checkout and a ban on bringing reusable bags from home. The one thing they didn’t have?

A single employee wearing a mask. To which I say…. WTF?

I got hollered at for putting my groceries on the check out conveyor belt too soon, by a cashier who wouldn’t wear a mask. Smarten up people! Half measures are no measures. We need to get on top of this thing…. my local pub misses me!

Other things I learned?

I don’t look good in a mask.

 

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And there’s still no toilet paper.

 

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Anywhere.

There was plenty of deodorant, but no toothpaste…. because apparently clean minty breath is more important than body odor during pandemics.

You want flour?

 

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Sorry, no can do.

Oh, there are full shelves here and there.

 

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But they’re filled with such things as Tumeric pasta and….

 

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Yeah.

There was no shortage of those.

This item was fully stocked as well.

 

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Clearly I’m not the only one who hates cilantro.

I also learned you can’t wear reading glasses while sporting an N95 mask. Nope. If you do…. those little suckers will fog up like the back of your teenage boyfriend’s Chevy van on prom night.

I came home with something I didn’t want or need simply because I couldn’t read the damn thing.

Yay me.

I also learned that if you’re menopausal and prone to hot flashes? You’re not going to enjoy going out in public for the foreseeable future.

The mask I wore is great, it filters out all the harmful particles… but breathing through it? Not so great.

I overheated to a temperature approaching the surface of the sun within 5 minutes…. then turned a bright feverish red and had to finish shopping quickly before I melted into a puddle in the dairy section.

Think I’m kidding?

 

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Nope.

 

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Not kidding.

I’m not sick, just splotchy. Honest!

 

40 thoughts on “Things I learned while grocery shopping.”

  2. I clicked on this post knowing your writing always delivers me a nice belly chuckle and this did not disappoint. I am forced to wear a mask at work all day, so yes I know…lololol

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      3. For every medication (prescribed or otherwise) I have ever taken there have been a list of possible side effects (some deadly) – wearing a mask has the same issues (in a manner of speaking). To wear or not to wear -???
        Hmmm… sometimes the protection has an opposite effect.
        And perhaps that is one reason why those employees don’t wear them?

        That having been said:
        Bursting into flames would indeed be a problem.

        Here in Georgia (when I have gone out) I see so many mask wearers – it’s reminding me of China. Not everyone wears them, but maybe because they are in short supply?

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      4. I think it’s just this mask. I know it’s good for me… which is probably why I don’t like it. That, and the boiled lobster face result.
        I was hoping to see more people wear them here. Granted we have a low infection rate, but I’d like to keep it that way!

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  3. You look fine with the mask! It’s when you take it off things don’t look so hot. I’m only referring to the red splotches, which if you think about it, did make you hot.

    My mask has made my face break out in a scruffy mess of unruly hairlike substance. But at least it has Disney characters on it. 🙂

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    1. The mask made me look hot? Well, technically I can’t argue with that…. but it’s the not the kind of hot I prefer. Of course it’s better than your unruly hairline substance. I couldn’t rock that look at all. …

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  5. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to safely wear a mask. How will I see where I’m going? How will I not get a bacterial infection on my face? How will I ever get a mask, for that matter?

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  6. Where to start????
    1) If the leader of the country WON’T wear a mask why should you??? (Maybe that’s a good reason to wear one!!!!)
    Heck–he already is yellow-orange imagine if red got into the mix??
    2) You have to press the mask tight against your nose bone so air won’t creep up and fog your glasses from your nose or mouth (My druggist showed me how and I don’t have a problem anymore)
    3) The little stores–sort of like 7-11 but smaller–have toilet paper BUT as the guy said “It is like sandpiper on a roll!!” (At least he was honest and what can you expect for 64 cents a roll?)

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    1. Oh… so I should have pinched my nose? Good to know.
      But the little stores are out of tp here as well.
      Mainers are used to hoarding for long winters. They don’t mess around!

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  7. I have not been to a grocery store since March 11th. Husband has ventured out several times since then to get food and essentials. He has seen store workers wearing masks, but then removing them to talk to customers or touching them a lot to readjust them.
    We are lucky in that we were apparently toilet paper hordes before that was a thing. Every time Costco had toilet paper or paper towels on coupon, we would buy just because we are frugal.
    Sorry to hear about your red mask face. 😦

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  8. Well, your complying with wearing the face masks, unlike many who work at the PLACES WE SHOP!! I scored three 3M masks from my son who works on the military base here in El Paso. But I had already made a mask for myself just in case he wouldn’t be able to get me any because everywhere they’re sold out. I haven’t gone out since last week, and I try not to unless I absolutely have to.

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  9. Our shelves don’t look like that anymore… I don’t know what’s going on in your neck of the woods. Maybe you’re too far out of the supply chain…

    Masks are available to employees and optional, and it better stay that way because I will NOT wear one… and I’m hardly alone on that since nobody else on my overnight shift has requested one either.

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    1. Mainers do have a slight hoarding habit. Long winters ya know.
      But as for the masks, I’m sorry…. but I have to disagree. It only works if we all wear them.

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  11. Maybe it’s time to get on the kaLe bandwagon. I mean if it’s a choice between cilantro lime and kale or starvation, kale at least is nutritious!

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    1. Thankfully we’ve come a long way since I posted that last year. But since almost half of Republicans and the military are refusing to get the vaccine, clearly it’s not far enough.

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  15. I guess I’m a bit late to the dance here. No matter, I’m going to shoot this one out there anyway, because you may want to serve it up yourself sometime. Next time the T.P. situation is looking grim, look for John Wayne toilet paper. It’s rough, it’s tough and it will take absolutely no shit off of anybody Now you can smell like a real American hero.
    As for the military, I had more shots in one tour of duty than most civilians get in a lifetime. If these people want to refuse, article 92 of the uniform code of military justice covers that. I suggest a dose of Commanding officer’s non-judicial punishment, administered repeatedly until the “patriot” in question gets the message.

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