What is it with men and old westerns?

 

They say there’s a little boy in every man….. and if that’s true?

Mine is playing cowboys and Indians.

Left to his own devices, my husband could easily watch the western channel 24 hours a day.  I know…. because True Grit, Fort Apache and Rio Bravo have been the background soundtrack to my life for the past 36 years.

He likes westerns, ergo he likes John Wayne.

Not as a real person, he neither knows nor cares who that was….. but rather as an idealized portrait of what a real man is supposed to be. At least on screen.

So when we went to Lowes the other day and were standing on the check out line? You know he had to grab this:

 

 

“Manly meals”.

I’m sure you can hear my eyes rolling from there.

 

 

Who knew my husband wanted to be a cookout legend?

The man who has never read a recipe in his life, but had to buy this book. And may I just say?

I was not impressed.

 

 

 

That is the saddest excuse for steak I’ve ever seen. And with pesto made from cilantro as an accompaniment? The Duke and his horse should be run out of town with their heads hanging down in shame.

 

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Now correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Texas do everything up big?

If so, these are misnamed…. because those are the skimpiest, most pathetic tacos to ever grace a shell.

And I’m from Maine.

We fill our tacos with haddock and lobster… what do we know?

I’ll spare you the Gun Smokey Barbecue Chicken and the Ringo Kid’s Skirt Steak, but suffice it to say I doubt any of Wayne’s dishes will ever make it to our table.

And now, because this is my blog and you know I can’t help myself…. here’s one final picture of the quintessential manly man.

You can thank me later.

 

john-waynes-camel-toe

 

 

 

 

45 thoughts on “What is it with men and old westerns?”

  1. A taco with haddock an lobster? I’ll be right back after I finish hyperventilating. Sacrilege!!

    I saw that photo of John by the pool in those prissy sandals some years ago, and never quite got over the shock …

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Fish tacos are an amazing invention. Really. As a side note August is National Catfish Month and you’d better believe I’m celebrating. As another side note, what do you take for a haddock? I take aspirin. (Thanks to The Marx Brothers, my idea of manliness, for that.)
    And it’s probably just as well your husband didn’t know John Wayne died of cancer. Probably from eating the way he did.
    Maybe for a palate cleanser you should put on “The Birdcage”, or just the scene where Nathan Lane impersonates John Wayne and Robin Williams says, “I just never realized John Wayne walked like that.”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Stop trying to understand already! I have a hard time grasping women and their shoe collections. At least his manly cooking has a happy outcome, unlike this shoe thing, which requires us to try and find closet space where there is no closet space to be had.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I agree with theearthspins. Two hundred pairs of shoes for your feet is like 200 pairs of gloves for your hands, or 200 pairs of earrings for your ears. Have you no sense of restraint? I would think 199 pairs of any of these should be sufficient.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh gawd….cilantro pesto….totes yuck!! And yes, Texas does things big, so if those tacos aren’t as big as your head they aren’t tacos! But again, CILANTRO PESTO?!?! Shoot whomever came up with that recipe for god-sake…..bastards!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Well, to be fair I have a few pairs of shoes he doesn’t know about in a second closet but I might change my clothes 3 times a day. Exercise clothes, clothes to do my online teaching, clothes for cooking, etc. you get the point.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely. I go from pajamas, to house work clothes, to work out in the yard clothes, to run errands clothes, to lounge on the couch clothes, to go out to dinner clothes and back to pajamas.
      Women need clothes.
      And shoes to go with them.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Not a fan of John Wayne. Well, to be more precise, I’m not a fan of Marion Morrison, the real name behind the mask. He was one of those vicious and vindictive Republicans, so…

    As for fish tacos, I eat them all the time down here in Texas. They’re everywhere, which sort of busts the mystique of what should be in them. But the best I’ve had? Southern Spain, natch…

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  8. A cookbook written by a man who died 41 years ago and just making it to stores…before pesto was truly a thing? I feel a mistrust has been thrust upon us. And I see “The Duke” eating a thick grilled steak.plain with perhaps salt, pepper and a side of potatoes or a 8 oz burger with onions…I don’t see him eating most of this. Just my thoughts on my childhood memories of him!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. With the way intelligent women react to “manly men,” I cannot understand why any man would want to be manly. But then, that’s the problem, isn’t it. Manly men are scared of intelligent women, they prefer their women to be ditzy, so their women have no idea how fake that “manliness” is. John Wayne was a schmuck!
    Now, in Canada we had a short skinny comedian named John Wayne (of Wayne and Shuster fame) who often played female roles. There was a real man! He was in touch with his feminine side–at least on stage…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My mom loves John Wayne but I think he’s a big bag of baloney. I prefer my westerns drowning in spaghetti (with pesto, oh yeah.) I personally think High Noon is the best western ever. Grace Kelly, about to feed someone a hot lead tootsie pop=good movie.

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