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Grocery store chuckles.

36 Comments

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It never fails to amaze me how many ridiculous products I can find in the grocery store.

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Multi colored popcorn farts? No thank you. Wait… they’re covered in white chocolate?

On second thought. How bad can a rainbow unicorn toot be?

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This abominable bag of quinoa was on the check out aisle with all the other reasonable unhealthy snacks. Don’t they know how good that radioactive orange Cheetoh dust is? Geesh, no one in their right mind craves quinoa.

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Tolerant organic. What exactly does that mean? Is that little fellow going to bludgeon me with his noodle if I don’t compliment his Birkenstocks?

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I’m sorry, but when I walk down the baking aisle… filled with cakes and brownies and numerous other drool worthy desserts? Protein balls are not high on my list.

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Finally, I need two things explained.

1. What happened to the separation of church and grocery store?

And

2. If you’re going to quote scripture about baking bread, don’t use it to sell a box of cereal. That’s just false advertising.

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36 thoughts on “Grocery store chuckles.”

  1. Eat your protein balls, citizen. Your government needs you to function at full efficiency if we are to beat Eastasia. We are at war with Eastasia…

    …. we’ve ALWAYS been at war with Eastasia…

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  5. We have ways to make you like organic lentils … you will soon learn your proper place in the eco-system.

    I hate to tell that breadmaker, but if he understood the dietary laws, that mixture was only to be used in bread baked for the Temple service. Ordinary slugs were not permitted to eat the shewbread … but what the hey! Who expects a cereal maker to know much about religion. They worship Mamon … the god of money …
    (end of sermon)

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      1. You got Jay Z?
        That is cra-zy!
        The Chuckles link shows up bright and clear here. It’s a Youtube video titled “The Saddest Candy of All Time: Chuckles”….but you’re not missing much, other than a few chuckles in an otherwise not-that-funny clip.

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  8. We make something similar to those Kodiak protein balls. They’re easy to make, easy to freeze, and very satisfying (but not as satisfying as a chewy brownie).

    In a mixing bowl, combine:

    1/2 c. rolled oats
    1/3 c. peanut butter
    1 Tbsp. maple syrup (or honey)
    1 Tbsp. warm water

    Stir in chopped walnuts or pecans, raisins, shredded coconut, and mini chocolate chips. Once well combined, roll into 1″ balls. Chill for an hour, then store in a covered container in the fridge or freezer.

    Or just eat ’em up.

    Aah . . . that’s YUMMY!

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  10. Hey, protein balls are the bomb. It’s noting but protein and fat, I eat them because I do keto, lol.
    As for the Unicorn Toots….those I’d try, like you if they are covered in white chocolate how bad could they be?

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  13. I do love white chocolate, so I might try that one, but I don’t know about the other. Why would anyone buy protein balls? I would buy no bake cookie balls or chocolate chip cookie dough balls, but not protein.

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  15. I checked with my 7 yr old granddaughter who in addition to be a self-declared fairyologist (she has endlessly studied fairies) is a self-declared unicornologist! She said it makes perfect sense because when unicorns toot it comes out rainbows…the idea doesn’t gross her out…though she would prefer milk chocolate to white chocolate but as she said…”chocolate is chocolate and all worth eating at any time” 🙂

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