Please don’t buy me this for Christmas.

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Admit it, over the years you’ve received some truly awful holiday gifts. No matter how well intended, that 1,001 Uses For Fruitcake recipe book sucked.

So this season instead of making a list of the things you want?

Make a list of the things you don’t.

I’ll start…

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I don’t want a set of cat butt coasters with strategically placed pink dots. Nope.

Not now, not ever.

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Santa’s Sweaty Sack?

Santa is everywhere this time of year, but perhaps we should try to reduce the trauma to our children and leave his odiferous sack out of the equation.

But topping the list of things I don’t want for Christmas?

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Urinal shot glasses.

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That gift is a sure way to get yourself barred from the man cave.

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