.
On a recent visit to the health care center for my annual physical, the doctor recommended a colonoscopy. I’ve never had one … and not being in any hurry to experience the disgusting prep or the dreaded butt cam itself, I opted for the Cologuard home kit they send in the mail.
Being a bad patient, I promptly stuck it in the closet and forgot about it.
Until today, when I received this.
.
.
Yes.
The Cologuard company wants to pay me $25 for sending in a sample of… 💩
The world is a very strange place indeed.
🤣🤣🤣
.
River's world..... 
No prep and $25? Sounds pretty sweet. I get the VA alternative, which is no alternative, but I trust my doctor not to be doing this for his amusement.
Rivergirl, please please take care of yourself. Of all the people I have met over the internet you are the most important and I’m sure that’s not even a patch on how important you are to your husband.
💕
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Awww. Aren’t you sweet! Thank you for the concern, but no worries. Other than a few age related aches and pains, I’m quite healthy.
😉
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Yeah, I get the VA treatment as well, but since I already have intestinal cancer, Cologuard is not an option. On 7 November, I have my consultation for the next peek-a-poo, but not sure I am going to do it. Why? Since my last one, 10 years ago, when they found my cancer, I have had 16 MRIs, 11 CT Scans, and 5 PET Scans. If they have not seen anything with those, then there is nothing there to see.
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Wow. That’s a lot of scans..
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Got to stay ahead of the tumors. They are like weeds. Ignore them long enough, and they become unmanageable.
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Omg lol.
I did that at home kit, and although I can’t describe it as a pleasant experience, it saved me from having to go through the whole other thing. Ugh.
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It’s definitely the lesser of two evils.
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Kudos to Cologuard for being on the cutting edge of marketing…instead of bringing up the rear.
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So to speak.
🤣
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3 points for that comment!
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Literally
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I’ve heard of people who “think their shit don’t stink”, but you’re the first I’ve known who thinks hers is worth $.
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To be fair, I don’t think so.
They do!
🤣
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Yeah, I get it, but it’s funnier the other way.
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Cologuard is based in Madison, WI. So you’ll be sending your excrement my way! Umm…thanks?
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Ha!
What are friends for?
🤣
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Can we just send it directly to you?
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Don’t make me your stool pigeon!
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Just watch out for flaming bags on your doorstep.
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Consider it dung!
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I’ve had the Cologuard tests done since I turned 53. It sure beats the colonoscopy prep and having the asscam crammed up “behind” you that’s for sure. Just do it, it’s a big deal to stay healthy. No, shipping your poop off to a lab doesn’t sound at all appealing. But, it’s better than the alternative 😉
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Again..what the hell I never got that..must be a Maine thing
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You probably sent yours in right away. Mine has been in the closet…
😉
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No, I didn’t even get an offer period
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Sorry….?
😉
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Nope. I am in Nevada
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Oh, solid strategy! Like leaving items in a virtual shopping cart until the online store sends you a discount code.
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Who knew it could be profitable?
💩
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Cool… I misplaced my home test (not cologuard). I hope I get a $25 offer!!
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I can’t promise anything…
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I think that, last time, this company or my insurance sent me a BILL for a non-returned test! I had mailed it just before the bill arrived.
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Ugh.
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That’s on my list of to do’s from my doctor too. Thanks for the reminder.
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Perhaps the poopy collection and testing folks are having a competition … who can collect the most specimens – the winner having bragging rights are their next convention! I’ve seen stranger things at conventions!
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Remind me not to book a suite at that resort…
🤣
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If you’ve got to do that test, you might as well get paid for it. Think I’ll go and order me a Cologuard…
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Just be sure to leave it in the closet for a month and a half and ignore the reminder messages.
😉
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Just remember, they’re a lab contracted out by your health care provider.
You may be getting $25, but they’re getting way more.
Hold out until they raise their offer!
(Out, *not* it. That could be bad.)
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True. Wonder how high they’ll go?
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Tell ’em you’ve got some premium sh*t and $25 is an insult. See how high they’ll go.
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A bidding war for poo?
Why not…
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You want a really interesting next visit with your doctor? Collect some raccoon or skunk poop and sent that in.
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Ha!
I totally could…. just stepped over a pile of skunk this morning.
The results would definitely be blog worthy.
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In the immortal words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, “Do it! Do it!”
And if that skunk had colorectal cancer, early detection could save its life.
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A win, win.
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I’m here to tell you that you need to do this—stop farting around! (🫣)
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Yes ma’am!
😉
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