Important update..

 

Because I know you hate to be left hanging.

The old old, my ass! nothing should die in 6 years except reality tv shows. Why are they still alive? fridge.

 

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The new black stainless steel OMG don’t walk near it with anything sharp finish fridge –

 

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The old  no damn it, it wasn’t!   fridge –

 

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The new polish with the grain, who the hell knew stainless steel had a grain? fridge.

 

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Delivery was a logistical nightmare. It wouldn’t fit through our kitchen door, even though it was the exact same size as our old one. The kids who brought it (yes, they were younger than me… that makes them kids) couldn’t figure it out for the life of them and were dismantling it piece by piece in our front yard when (wise old me) suggested they bring it through the (larger) front door.

 

 

With age comes wisdom.

And wrinkles, and bunions, and hot flashes…

 

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But I digress…

Once they wrangled it inside, the kids couldn’t get the water dispenser to work and were frantically searching manuals and calling for assistance when I suggested they turn the water line back on.

 

 

So after 2 1/2 hours dealing with morons we had a brand new fridge.

 

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With fancy graduated lighting for my husband Goldilocks who wasn’t satisfied with anything else….

 

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As well as quick ice and turbo cool.

So worth the extra $700.

 

 

Anne Taintor still gets me…

 

It’s time for another peak into my absolute favorite desk calendar.

And all these months later?

She can still read my mind.

 

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I think that one is self explanatory.

 

 

If you’re not familiar with Anne, she takes those innocent snapshots of the perfect 1950’s housewives and gives them a little twist.

 

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If that isn’t incentive enough to fly…

I don’t know what is.

 

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Yes….

Blue things have occasionally been found growing in the back of my refrigerator.

And we’re not talking Jello.

 

 

While I have often expressed this next sentiment…

 

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If you look very closely…

Happy housewife on the right appears to have been holding something that was digitally removed…. and it seems to have been oblong.

Was it a Twinkie? A hot dog?

Or was this Lorena Bobbit’s  grandmother?

Tough call.

 

 

And finally…

This has always been my philosophy.

 

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Smiling.

It’s so over rated.

 

 

Things I like today… chapter 4.

 

I like…

This road sign we passed on a country lane.

 

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Notice to salesmen – please move along.

 

 

 

I like…

Sitting on my deck reading,

 

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And being quiet enough to have a few visitors drop by.

 

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I like….

This kind of race.

 

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I might get a little winded…

But at least I know I’ll be able to cross the finish line.

 

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I like….

My fruit infuser pitcher.

 

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I know I should drink gallons of water daily, but let’s face it…unless it’s toning down my bourbon?

I’m not really interested.

 

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But chop up some fresh strawberries and let it sit overnight?

Quite tasty.

I’ve tried pineapple. Wonderful!

Mango? Meh.

Watermelon? No flavor at all.

Pear seemed like a good idea….

 

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But it turned brown and slimy in mere hours… so no to pear.

 

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(Don’t worry, it took me a minute to get it as well.)

 

I like…

 

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This picture I took of my flower bed with a triple rainbow shadow.

 

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WWF – Woodchuck division.

 

Warning…  woodchuck cuteness ahead.

 

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Yes, I’m afraid so.

 

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The babies are still sleeping on our deck.

 

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As well as still slightly off center when eating.

 

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And yes, momma chucker is still in dire need of support undergarments.

 

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But this is new a feeding position….

 

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And this gives me cause to wonder if woodchucks really do chuck wood.

 

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But the best parts lately are the wars.

Mock battles between the babies.

Serious cuteness!

 

 

 

Funny little scampers.

I could watch them all day…

 

Oddly enough….

 

When I think of lawn ornaments?

Mr. Potato Head is not the first thing that comes to mind.

 

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And while I love a good spud with my steak as much as the next person…

 

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I can’t say I’d want this bigger than life fellow greeting me at my door every night.

 

 

 

Maybe so.

But I’m old enough to remember this creepy vintage playground Potato Head.

 

 

And stand by my statement.

No thank you!

Calling all hot flashing menopausal women….

 

(And partners of these women, male or otherwise…. if they want to earn some brownie points.)

Are hot flashes making you feel like you live on the surface of the sun?

 

 

Forget black cohosh.

 

 

 

Forget soy.

 

I tried both, and they didn’t touch my heat.

 

 

But this?

This works.

 

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A personal, portable tiny air conditioner.

 

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Soak the filter in cold water, then put it in the freezer.

 

 

Fill the reservoir with cold water…

 

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Position it on your desk, coffee table, bedside table… point the lever straight at your face –

And let her rip.

 

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I found mine at Home Depot for $39.99 and I’m happy.

 

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Not as happy as I would be stepping into a sub zero walk in freezer…

But who has room for one of those in the living room?

 

And they talk about women!

 

The hunt for a new refrigerator continues, and just as I had finished extensive research and narrowed the field down to this one…

 

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The husband decided he wanted to go shopping and check them out for himself.

Granted, it’s a large purchase and I wanted him to like what I chose.

But ya know what?

 

 

I took him to the store and showed him my choice, which he walked right by and made a bee line for:

 

 

No.

And again? No.

Aside from the jaw dropping price tag? There’s no way I’m going to buy a refrigerator that tells me I’m out of cucumbers or what to cook for dinner.

Christ, do we really need “smart” appliances?

The day I’m too old and doddering to realize I’m out of cucumbers? I’ll stop cooking altogether.

In case you’re unfamiliar, there’s basically a computer on the door. You can make grocery lists, find recipes with the ingredients it knows are in there, and it will even link with your phone so you can check your expiration dates from remote locations.

Among other useful things….

 

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Geesh.

All I want is cold food and ice.

 

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Great. Scratch the ice.

So we shopped, and shopped, and shopped.

And the husband said that one’s shelves were too small,  that one’s lights were too bright, that one’s drawers were too deep…. etc etc etc.

To which, after grueling 5 hours I said..

“Come on Goldilocks!”

 

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So he picked one.

 

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And though it’s almost exactly the same as the one I’d picked a week earlier?

This one is $700 more.

 

 

So, men?

I don’t want to hear you say your wives are spending all the money.

My husband can out shop the best of ’em.