CSA and a few grocery store chuckles.

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This week’s bounty was a large one.

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Tomato, squash, radishes, zucchini, beets, parsley, celery, lettuce, Italian green beans, spinach and basil.

What it didn’t have was any of the bizarre little jewels the farm advertised at their stand.

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Mouse melons.

I want!

What I didn’t want was the truck I parked behind at the grocery store telling me to eat more kale.

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I’m not eating any kale, and you can’t make me.

Inside the store, this item looked interesting.

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I like beer.

I like butterscotch.

But then I noticed it was non alcoholic cream soda and screamed false advertising.

You shouldn’t tease customers like that. Especially during a pandemic.

You also shouldn’t display things like this:

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And not expect bloggers to take pictures and chortle over how utterly wrong they look.

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The miracle continues…

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Out of nowhere the husband decided to clean the garage.

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And there was lots to sort through and clean believe me.

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Did I crochet that?

I once superglued the straps of my bathing suit together, so… no.

Like hundreds of other items that show up in our out buildings, I have no clue how it came to be there. But the point is, the husband was willing to get rid of some things and that had to be celebrated.

Applauded.

And crowed about on a blog.

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Okay, so he wasn’t willing to part with everything. This was old, rusted and didn’t work.

In other words, a keeper!

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Halfway though the day he stumbled on that motorcycle dolly he just had to have. You know the one… I bought it for his birthday 10 years ago, almost broke my back getting it into the house and wrapped? The one he not only didn’t use, but never even opened?

Yeah, that one.

Problem was it had been stuck in the back of the garage for all that time and a mouse family had moved in. So when he picked it up?

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The bottom of the box gave way.

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And pounds of mouse shavings, clippings and poo fell out.

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But one side of the building revealed it did indeed have a (seriously cracked) floor and the truck was filling up for a dump run.

Cue the brass band.

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Naturally if I put anything in there, it had to be gone over with a fine tooth comb. Which by the way, I found three of.

None with a full set of teeth.

Good times.

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I love my town.

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And what passes for local news on their Facebook page.

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No, I don’t know what’s happening either. But turtles are involved so it must be good.

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Goat shooing happens more often than you think here.

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Now this is news!

While we do live in Maine, moose are more commonly seen up north. Having one stroll our river is a sure way to fire up the locals.

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This is another type of wildlife sighting altogether. A traveling donkey who spends a few nights on your lawn by request. Made by a local artist, his name is Mr. H.

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Goats are still on the loose.

Clearly their walkabout is causing concern.

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But in happier news, the slandering chicken is back home on the drivay.

Perhaps if her owner learned how to spell she’d stay home more often.

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Beauty products I probably need, but won’t buy.

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This first one makes me laugh because I’ve been saying it for years.

Don’t waste your money on expensive wrinkle creams ladies… just get some spackle and a putty knife to fill in those cracks.

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See?

Same idea… different packaging.

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Bad pun aside, if I want to slather egg white on my face? I’ll wait until it’s time to bake blueberry coffee cake again.

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No plastic egg required.

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This has always baffled me.

It’s ACID…. and peels off a layer of your skin to boost that brightness. Vegan?

Well no shit.

How many cows do you know who are filled with acid?

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Silicone mask brush?

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Looks like another putty knife to me.

Finally, there’s lip lifter.

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Lip lifter.

For Christ’s sake. I have boob lifting bras and butt lifting panties …. now you want me to lift my lips?

I give up.

Gravity, do what you will. As long as I can still lift the martini glass?

I’m good.

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It’s not just for furniture anymore.

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My girlfriend was in the market for furniture and asked me to go with her to the new Jordan’s that opened at the Maine Mall.

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Holy mackerel Batman!

Clearly it’s been a long time since I shopped for a sofa, because this was a totally immersive experience.

Yes, that picture is of the one store… not the mall itself. Huge doesn’t begin to describe it. We walked and walked and walked and thought we’d never find the end.

Some of the furniture was…

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Different.

Let’s go with that.

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Wait…

What?

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Is this the hamster night light option?

Or disco lighting for when your urge to do the Hustle is too strong to ignore?

Either way, I’ll pass.

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The home office section had a few quirky pieces as well.

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They were actually selling these vintage typewriters.

Price? $450.

And yes, I’ll be checking the husband’s barn for one as soon as I’m done posting.

So it was an interesting place. But the weirdest thing of all?

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This:

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Yes.

It’s been long time since I went furniture shopping.

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I’m seeing red.

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No, the husband hasn’t bought the contents of that abandoned Victorian up the road….

I mean this kind of red.

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Weeee!

Our first glimpse of what poppa barn will look like when finished.

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The trim will be added after.

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And there’s a lot of it to add.

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But I’m excited to see him finally sporting some color.

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I think baby barn agrees.

So maybe it wasn’t quite the miracle I thought.

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The other day I blogged about the miracle of finding my husband getting rid of things in the big barn.

I was happy!

I was thrilled!

Heck, I was downright orgasmic.

Until I walked upstairs.

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A lot of the things I thought he’d gotten rid of…

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Had just migrated upward instead. So with determination in my step I went back down to help him sort through things to throw away.

It did not go well.

Here are a few of the items he couldn’t bear to part with.

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No, you’re not seeing double. That’s a flippable measuring cup… though why on earth you’d need to flip one I don’t know.

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Blank dog tags.

A box of them.

Why? Unless he’s planning to outfit a woodchuck army…. I don’t see the point.

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A rock.

And while I’m normally all about the rocks, I do prefer mine outside…. or slowly cooling my gin and tonic.

Finally there was this:

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He wouldn’t part with it, even though he didn’t know where he’d gotten it or what the hell it was.

So let me resurrect that old blog series I used to torture you with..

Name That Crap!

What is it?

( And yes, I did research so I know the answer. )

Was this really necessary?

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We have a family of skunks who visit nightly to snack on fallen seed and the food I put out for the fox. I rarely get pictures of them because I can’t shoot through the window when it’s dark. And yes…. I could go outside, but startling a group of skunks and being the recipient of their liquid wrath simply isn’t worth bathing in tomato juice. Even for you.

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This little fellow wandered in at dusk the other night.

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And while they’re not great photos, they provide proof.

Proof that this happens.

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Skunk poo.

In the deer food.

Now was that really necessary?

Pandemic humor.

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I’m still laughing.

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Of course.

Who else could it be?

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Yes sir, I rip that baby off as soon as I hit open air.

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Poor Jersey, it always gets a bum rap.

Not that it doesn’t deserve it.

And hey, I grew up there…. I should know.

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For once I’m glad I never mastered that particular skill.

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See?

It’s hard all over.

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This wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

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Or gin.

Or tequila.

Or rum.

Well, you get the idea.