All posts by Rivergirl

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So close!

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Another missed opportunity and this time it was entirely my fault. When walking his Lordship I usually keep a loose finger grip on the leash but the other day I had it looped around my wrist and wouldn’t you know it… that was the exact moment our resident red squirrel b*tch darted right out in front of Lord Dudley Mountcatten.

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He ran to give chase but was jerked back by the leash I couldn’t drop just as he reached for her.

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It was a close call… but damn it, she escaped.

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Up the cedar tree she went… and sat there for a good 20 minutes teasing my boy.

And me for that matter.

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He could have had her.

It was so close….

😫

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Once more unto the bleach…

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I was back at the outdoor bleaching again this weekend, following trails of green algae with my spray bottle and pressure washing attachment.

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Spraying in the corner of the deck left me absolutely soaked and I wouldn’t be surprised if my hair has blonde streaks now. But everything looks fresh and clean again… so mission accomplished.

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While I was at it I cleaned the furniture as well.

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We used to store this set in the barn during the winter but since the man cave conversion it’s been riding out the snow in situ and was in dire need of a cleanse.

P.S. no worms were harmed or relocated during the making of this post.

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Scenic Cape Porpoise

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When your husband is newly retired and it’s a beautiful spring day? You take a drive along the Maine coast just because you can.

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Cape Porpoise is a small village in the town of Kennebunkport on the southern coast.

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It’s quintessentially Maine and therefore ruggedly beautiful.

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No words necessary, just enjoy the ride.

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Is it any wonder we live in this state?

❤️

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Bonk… part 4.

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You know the drill. The following excerpts are from a Mary Roach book about sex. You have been warned…

While Viagra is a relatively new treatment, cures for male impotence have been around for a long time. Two testicles not getting the job done? No problem, just get yourself a third.

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Yes, they really did have an add a testicle procedure, though it was not without its issues.

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Ponder that for a moment.

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Feel free to whip up that cocktail at your next dinner party. Gin, orange juice, grenadine and absinthe. Not sure what that recipe has to do with the family jewels, but I’m sure it will be a hit all the same.

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If that’s not trivia to impress your friends, I don’t know what is.

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Sodomization does seem a trifle extreme for pilfering a tomato, but clearly the Romans took their gardens more seriously than I do.

( If you want a good giggle? Do a Google image search on Priapus. That is one massive cucumber. 😳 )

I’m in!

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Let me just throw this out there… I love dinosaurs!

Always have, always will. While other little girls were playing with baby dolls and decorating Barbie’s stupid dream house, I was waging a life and death battle with my T Rex and Brontosaur. When other children wanted to go to Madison Square Garden to see the circus, I begged my parents to take me to the Museum of Natural History to see the Stegosaurus skeleton. In a perfect world I would have grown up to be a fossil hunter, endlessly scouring

the Black Hills for remnants of the Cretaceous. The best I can do now? Live vicariously through documentaries my husband thinks are dry as toast. Until this one –

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Tomorrow on Apple TV, the dinosaur documentary to end all dinosaur documentaries will begin. Hosted by David Attenborough…. All Hail Sir David! …it’s the dino version of Planet Earth and I can’t wait.

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*note to self – buy copious amounts of popcorn and butter*

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Now that’s tv worth watching!

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Disappointing dinner

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It was a bright and sunny evening at Casa River and after a full day of yard work we decided to drive along the coast of Harpswell and have dinner on the water.

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The closer we got, the thicker the fog. This restaurant is crazy crowded when the summer tourists descend so we’d hoped to beat the swarm and grab an outdoor table to enjoy the view.

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But the view was pea soup fog so we hit the bar instead. A few blueberry lemonades later..

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We ate a very disappointing meal. My $30 fried scallops were tasty but not plentiful and though I ordered a baked potato I received french fries because they had run out. And if that’s not bad enough, it was served in a paper lined wire basket more reminiscent of a lobster shack than fine dining. The husband’s scallop and lobster pasta had 3 scallops and 3 minuscule pieces of lobster for $40. While we never mind paying good money for a good meal, this longtime favorite place might be in danger of being dropped from our list.

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Please, just finish something.

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You’d think with all the free time my husband has since retiring projects would be finished in no time flat. Hell, 10 years ago he built a two story barn on nights and weekends when working full time, but now that there’s nothing definite on the schedule? Everything gets started and nothing gets finished…. which drives me absolutely insane.

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Last week he started redoing the back yard stone wall.

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He squared one corner and then stopped, leaving my rose bush dangling precariously.

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It’s hard to tell from the photo but the rose that our neighbor gave me in honor of my mother when she passed, the one that’s bloomed beautifully for years… now has a channel of air on the right side where the dirt and mulch used to be. I keep threatening to fill it back in but the husband hollers he’s not done with the wall.

So finish it!

We have a small home office with two desks. Mine is free and clear and organized, his? Not so much.

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It’s cluttered with stamps he started identifying, first day issues he started researching, price tags for a yard sale he’ll never get around to having, random old coins and airworthiness directives from a job where he is no longer employed. And while I try to ignore that mess, it’s a bit harder to ignore this one –

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The strategically placed pile of boxes, bags and packing material that accompanied the multiple loads of crap he belched up from the cellar two months ago. He says he’s still sorting and going through them, but he’s not and probably never will.

Sigh.

I’m too type A to work this way. I start something, I see it through and move on. It really makes me wonder how I’ve let him live this long…

🤣

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Let’s play.

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Because deep down you want to.

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First, a few obvious ones –

You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Leave the gun, take the cannoli.

You had me at hello.

Here’s looking at you kid.

Jaws, The Godfather, Jerry Maguire and Casablanca respectively.

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Everyone knows those, but can you guess these?

Put some Windex on it.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Are you not entertained?

Take a guess and then comment one of your own.

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News you can’t use.

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Let’s hear for it the first responders. Those brave selfless people who help us when we’re in trouble.

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And if ever someone was in trouble…

If you’re wondering how that happened, she was trying to retrieve her dropped cell phone.

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If any of my readers are of the vampire persuasion? Please answer the call, and then blog about it. That’s pure gold.

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From what I read Tucker believes America is a nation of emasculated men who are in dire need of butching up. The cure? Testicle tanning to increase testosterone production. Do you suppose there’s a special Coppertone lotion for that?

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I think we all have dentist office horror stories, but this poor fellow wins hands down.

😳

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