Tag Archives: humor

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Meanwhile, in Maine.

27 Comments

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I love living in my state and especially in one of its rural towns.

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We’ve had our neighbor’s horses, goats and chickens all wander over to say hello but as of yet, no cows.

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I want cows too!

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That’s a traffic jam you’ll never see in the city.

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Whaaat?

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And people think Oregon is weird….

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🤣

Closer to home, the geese are on the move.

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A few cold nights is all it takes for these birds to say sayonara and head for warmer shores.

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We were invited to dinner at a friend’s house recently and I made my cappuccino mousse trifle with raspberries.

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It’s always a hit and in exchange? Our British ex pat friends shared a lovely bottle of gin they picked up in Scotland that I’d never even heard of.

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Ooh la la.

If you’re a G&T fan? This is delightful. Smooth, crisp and oddly… almost creamy. It’s made with hand harvested sugar kelp seaweed and is a true small batch gem from the Outer Hebrides.

It’s not available in Maine, so I may have to make a pilgrimage to Boston soon.

🍸

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Uncategorized

Let’s play.

36 Comments

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You know the drill.

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I’m going with 4 and 6.

4. When we visited France… me with very rudimentary French language skills and my husband with a non existent grasp… we felt like fish out of water, which resulted in many strange hand signals that probably insulted the natives. (It was pre cell phone days, no on demand translator for us) So yes, being able to converse without looking like brain dead baboons would be helpful.

6. First class is ridiculously more expensive than business so I rarely if ever book it. But it would be nice to have a little more elbow room and a full can of Coke.

As for the rest, we’re retired and don’t need vacation days.

Perfect weather is nice, but it’s on those gloomy rainy days that we discover the great museums and art galleries.

I’m a type A researcher. If there’s a secret spot? I’ll find it.

Make lifelong friends? My husband will talk to a rock. We never meet strangers.

Now you.

Pick two!

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Uncategorized

What a waste of time.

54 Comments

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The knee surgery saga continues.

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And at 62?

It’s time for replacement parts.

The husband and I (his presence was mandatory as my designated care giver) spent a mind numbing two and a half hours in a conference room at the hospital the other day, sitting through a class of pre and post op information I’ve already been given three times.

Seriously, the lecture and presentation were word for word identical to the large folder of material given to me by the orthopedist.

I’d say it was a complete waste of time, but I did learn not to pack a lizard in my bag….

So there’s that.

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And yes..

That was an actual part of the presentation.

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I sneaked a picture for the blog and earned a dirty look from the nurse.

If she holds it against me in the operating room? I’m blaming you.

🤣

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Meaningless Maps

36 Comments

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Another round of useless statistics for your viewing pleasure.

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Looks like a lot of people stick close to home.

I wasn’t born in Maine, but I got here as quick as I could.

😉

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Notice the Pacific Northwest map says weed, not weeds.

🤣

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Maine doesn’t have any 100,000 plus cities. And that’s fine with me.

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Sorry.

I couldn’t resist.

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To a menopausal, hot flashing woman?

44 sounds perfect.

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I wish we had that much snow, but sadly we haven’t for years.

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Half a tree is better than none.

31 Comments

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There’s a crabapple tree in our stone garden bed.

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We didn’t plant it, but it sprouted and grew well…. so we let it be.

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Ten years later it perfumes our yard with blossoms in the spring and provides shade for the flowers and respite for the birds.

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Until this week when it literally split in half.

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The lower section on the left broke away from the trunk and got tangled up in the other big section resulting in a mess.

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Knowing it was going to break off and wreck havoc in the first storm, we decided to cut off the broken parts.

😰

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Which were absolutely loaded with fruit.

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I hated to do it, but there really was no choice.

And as with most projects around Casa River as soon as we started…. things went wrong.

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After a few initial swipes with the chain saw?

The chain fell off. And when we tried to fix it?

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It started to rain which drove us into the shed.

Grrr.

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Half an hour later we were back at it.

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With me sighing as each branch fell.

I hate cutting mature trees.

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But kudos to my husband for not destroying my blooming sedum.

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Only one blossom lost.

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The garden bed looks like hell because my knee hurt too much to tend it this year and we’ve had a horrible drought all summer.

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My knee isn’t the only thing crunching around here.

Everything is brown.

😩

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News you can’t use.

30 Comments

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More pointless facts to fill your brain.

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Unless they settled the age old boxers vs briefs debate? I’m not sure I care.

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Sadly it doesn’t. And it’s a knee friendly exercise, so… damn.

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While it would feed a lot more people than my usual chicken, I’m not sure I’m up for fixing that much stuffing.

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I just finished watching Monarch – Legacy of Monsters with Kurt Russell. Lesson learned?

Do Not Explore The Underground Forests!

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Here’s a novel idea …

Stop fracking.

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I can’t speak for everyone, but personally?

No.

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Uncategorized

I have a date!

86 Comments

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No, I haven’t been scrolling Bumble or eHarmony…

But the orthopedist scheduler finally called and it looks like my crunchy pain riddled knee will be on the table by the end of October.

I’m happy to finally have a date, but still immensely frustrated with the process and our healthcare system in general.

I started this journey in January. Which means a nine month wait.

I waited 3 weeks for an appointment with my primary.

Waited 6 months for an appointment with the orthopedic PA.

Waited another month to see the orthopedist.

Waited almost another month to be scheduled.

Then two appointments at the dentist… so I could be ripped off to the tune of $3,500 …. for a clearance letter.

Followed by an appointment at the hospital for an EKG, MRSA swab and multiple blood tests.

Still to come?

A 2 1/2 hour pre op class.

An hour long pre op phone call with the surgical nurse.

An appointment with my primary… again… for another clearance letter.

A pre op appointment with the PA and an orthopedic nurse.

Then, finally… the surgery.

10 appointments in nine months for a partial knee replacement. When I had my full abdominal hysterectomy in 2015? It went like this – primary sent me to a gynecologist, gynecologist said you need a hysterectomy, 3 weeks later I had a hysterectomy. To my mind that was a major surgery and I zipped through it with ease.

This has been a nightmare in comparison. Though I’ve had friends tell me it’s taken them upwards of a year.

That’s just wrong.

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It damn well better be.

😉

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Uncategorized

Not dead dogs, a motorcycle momma, and New Jersey flashbacks.

36 Comments

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This first picture was on the Facebook page of the Island where I used to live… and it made me laugh.

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It’s from a visiting veterinary service but look, we share a name. Though she definitely wears it better.

Also from the Island, a party invitation.

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The ‘I’m Still Not Dead’ party. Wouldn’t want to miss that.

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Believe it or not this ancient picture is of my husband’s mother on a Harley. That’s her driving the middle one. It was taken in 1944 and she was wearing a custom made white leather jacket.

What a hoot.

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Our lawn is browning in weird spots thanks to the summer drought. His Lordship checked out the dead grass on a recent walk and alerted me to a disturbing fact.

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The woodchucks have dug a burrow under the cement cover to our septic tank access.

This may not end well, for anyone.

🫤

In other news, I’ve discovered a funny Facebook page that reminisces about the good old days in the Garden State and it makes me miss my crazy childhood.

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Jungle Habitat was bizarre. You paid admission and drove through the park in your car. You couldn’t get out and let me tell you…. as I kid? I definitely didn’t want to. I remember ostriches ferociously pecking at our windows, a baboon trying to rip off the windshield wipers and a chimpanzee masturbating on the hood of our station wagon. It was a strange form of family entertainment to say the least.

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Cinnamon crumb coffee cake.

I buy it today, but it never tastes the same.

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Ask me if I’m frustrated. Go on, I dare you.

58 Comments

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The journey toward knee surgery continues. Albeit slowly, like a three legged blind tortoise fighting a headwind.

I swear if I’d known it would take this long I would have started the process last year.

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Three weeks ago I finally saw the Great and Powerful Oz my orthopedist who told me the scheduler would be in touch.

Three.

Weeks.

Ago.

I’ve waited three weeks for someone to call and no, not very patiently. After the first week I called the scheduler, but no one answered. I continued calling through the second week and no one continued to answer. I left messages. Multiple messages. But no one called.

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In the middle of week three, I received a honking folder of information in the mail.

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Filled with pre op tips, pre op instructions…

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Even pre op exercises… for the op that hasn’t been scheduled yet.

Included in the packet was a list of hoops I’ll have to jump through before I finally get my poor aching knee on the table.

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So let me get this straight – I waited 6 months to see an orthopedic PA….who told me all about the surgery and recovery.

Then another month to see the orthopedist… who told me all about the surgery and recovery.

Three weeks after that I get a packet of papers in the mail…. that tells me all about the surgery and recovery.

And now? I have to take a 2 1/2 hour class… so someone can tell me all about the surgery and recovery – followed by a one hour phone call from a nurse…. who will tell me all about the surgery and recovery – ending with a second PA visit… so he can tell me all about the surgery and recovery.

Again.

What. The. Utter. Hell?

I’m not a surgeon, I get it.

But even for a lay person? This seems a trifle redundant.

Not to mention frustrating.

😡

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