Tag Archives: humor

Fun at the fair…. and balls.

 

We hadn’t been to the Topsham Fair in years, and after going the other day I remembered why.

Maine has some fabulous county fairs….. but this isn’t one of them.

With a $12 charge per person to get in? There should have been more… everything.

 

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We started with the livestock, because I do love me some critters.

 

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I got up close and personal with sheep….

 

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While the husband chatted up a cow.

 

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This cow was lying down.

 

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As was her owner…

 

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And it took all my willpower not to yell at him to drop his phone and learn how to spell her name properly.

 

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Sorry El….

 

 

This cow had a little speck of something on her nose…

 

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Which proved to be no problem.

 

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Yes, that’s her tongue. And she knew how to use it.

 

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Did you know…

 

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Cows can’t vomit?

I live to enlighten.

 

 

 

We saw ox, and horses.

 

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Some huge.

 

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Some small.

We saw pigs…

 

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With lots of baby pigs…

 

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And goats..

 

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With some pretty big…

 

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Sorry…. but holy crap!

 

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How do you walk with balls that big?

 

 

We strolled around looking for the chicken barn….

Only to discover there wasn’t one.

Very disappointing.

 

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And then we walked past the “Decorate a Bale of Hay” contest.

 

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Which… yeah.

 

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Was a bit odd.

 

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I temporarily lost the husband to some old rusty crap.

 

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And found him checking out some sweet old vehicles for sale.

 

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We meandered through the collection of carriages and sleighs which we always love…

 

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And found a cannon…

 

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With a strategically placed ball.

 

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In a sack.

Tell me someone doesn’t have a sense of humor….

 

 

We made the obligatory walk through the exhibition hall.

 

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But the Blue Ribbon rhubarb failed to thrill.

And aside from the carnival rides we didn’t ride and the roach coach junk food that we didn’t eat, that was it….

Until I spotted George.

 

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And fell in love.

 

 

I mean… look at him!

 

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George is an Emu.

 

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Homely…

 

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Humble..

 

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And despite the prehistoric raptor like gaze, quite friendly.

Here’s some riveting video of him drinking water.

 

 

And a little something closer up.

 

 

He’s over 6 foot tall, with coarse dense feathers.

Yes, we bonded…. and I petted him.

Totally worth the $12 admission price.

 

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I admit, it made me look.

 

I walked by my window the other day and had to do a double take.

Across the road on our neighbor’s organic vegetable farm, the seasonal workers were weeding a garden patch. Most summers there are Mexican field hands, but because of the new immigration policies of He Who Will Remain Nameless… this year the workers are Jamaican.

 

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Now, I’ve never been to Jamaica.

 

 

But I’m going to go out on a limb here…

 

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And say this isn’t their new fashion trend.

 

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Yes, that is what you think it is.

 

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Cardboard.

 

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With a hole in the middle for your head.

 

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I particularly like the fact that he flipped up the cut out hole section.. and left it there. Like a pot lid.

 

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Jamaican cardboard hats.

Coming to a mall near you?

 

 

Remember… you saw it here first.

Too good not to share…

 

I was cruising FB the other day and saw a post from a realtor friend of mine.

It was a collection of mondo bizarro things agents find in homes they’re hired to sell and it was too damned funny not to share.

So Part 1 starts now.

 

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For those days when it’s too damned hot to actually go outside and jump in the pool.

 

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My husband once put a desk together backwards, so this really cracks me up.

 

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Aside from the glaringly obvious yellow vomit color scheme?

There are way too many eyes in this bathroom for me to be comfortable doing my business.

 

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Curtains.

They’re not just for windows anymore…

 

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When you want carpet in the bedroom, and your other half doesn’t.

 

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I haven’t decided if this is a living room in a bathroom… or a bathroom in a living room. But either way?

 

 

I love my town.

 

Want to put your finger on the pulse of your town?

Check out the Facebook group pages.

 

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No matter how large or small your particular hamlet is, chances are someone, somewhere is administrating a page for it.

I haven’t had so much fun in years!

You’ll learn very quickly who the town gossips are, where to find a free 40 year old slightly faded recliner, which families have been feuding since 1923,  who stole the carrots off the honor system garden cart, the residents you should avoid at all costs, and where the best wild raspberries are found.

There are also important things like this:

 

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That’s news you can use people!

 

 

Neighbors helping neighbors…

 

loud flying things

 

*Note to self- avoid the White Road*

 

 

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Granted, if you live in the city you won’t have such interesting headlines.

But loose chickens can be a problem anywhere…

 

 

 

 

 

Gettin’ my beer on…..

 

Beer.

We love it, and seek it out on a regular basis.

 

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So when we find a new craft brewery?

 

 

Apparently Brickyard Hollow has been open for almost a year and how we never noticed it is a mystery.

 

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Perhaps because the building used to be a 7-11?

 

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Whatever the reason, I’m glad we know now.

 

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There’s a rustic modern decor… which includes those horribly uncomfortable metal chairs that are popping up everywhere.

For the rounded hipped among us? This is not good.

 

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Uncomfortable outdoor seating as well.

 

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But the appropriate vintage photographs provide a relaxing atmosphere…

And then there’s the beer.

 

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Bring on the flights!

 

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We tried the Belgian, the Trestle, the Blueberry and the Amber and they were all lovely. After ordering some full size glasses,  I discovered the cocktail menu.

 

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Which had a boozy Lime Rickey.

Of course Yarmouth is a town famous for it’s annual Clam Festival. And when you’re at the Clam Festival? You have to meet the Clam…

 

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And have a freshly squeezed non alcoholic Lime Rickey… they’re delicious.

But a boozy version?

 

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It’s simple, crisp, refreshing…. and filled with gin.

 

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What more could you want?

Happy as the proverbial clam, I moved on to the food.

 

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Rich creamy clam chowder with just the right amount of everything.

 

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Husband went for Blueberry Moonshine wings while I chose a Black and Blue burger and country fries.

 

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While the burger was too thin for my taste, and slightly overcooked…. it did have a fabulous charbroiled flavor and potent Gorgonzola. The fries were dusted with some kind of slightly spicy rub which I could easily have munched on all day.

So…

Brickyard Hollow rates a solid B.

 

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I look forward to going back and trying Key Lime Scallops, a Cuban and a Crab Cake burger.

And of course… more beer.

 

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Move over Dear Abby….

 

There’s a new kid in town.

( Alright, an old new kid )

Rolling Stone magazine has finally added an advice column and it’s authored by, of all people….  David Crosby.

 

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You remember David Crosby…. from Crosby, Stills and Nash?  ( and Young, if you’re old enough ).

Yes, he’s still alive.

 

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And honestly doesn’t look that much different 49 years later.

 

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I’ve always been a huge CSN ( & Y ) fan …. and I think I’m going to enjoy his no nonsense approach to advice columns as well.

 

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So check out the inaugural outing….