Tag Archives: humor

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I must be getting old.

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I don’t yell at children to get off my lawn, but I fear it’s just around the corner. Why do I think this? Because the other day when I was reading an article online I saw this…

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And my first reaction was disgust. I not only wanted to seat that little boy properly at the table…. but felt a serious need to slap the pleased, over indulgent smile off his mother’s face as well. Harsh, I know. But I was raised back in the Mesozoic era with something called manners. Please and thank you, no elbows on the table. If my mother had seen me with my knees on a chair, face down in a plate of food? She would have snatched me bald headed.

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Junior eating a funnel cake with no hands isn’t cute…. and trust me, it will not serve him well in the future. Neither will the belching or farting you find so amusing. No joke, we once had one of these grown up children at our dinner table. When he was finished eating, he took off his shoes and started cleaning his toenails.

Not cute. Not at all.

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I had to.

20 Comments

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I mean really, how could I not?

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I broke down and ordered a sampler pack of perfume from a French company that takes themselves as seriously as I do. In other words, not at all.

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They embrace the bad reviews of their products and even use them in their advertising campaigns.

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And since I value a sense of humor above all else, I can’t imagine I’ll be disappointed. But don’t for a minute think is a gimmick. They don’t exactly give their stuff away.

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I Am Trash is one of their most popular fragrances. A revolting name, but an interesting idea.

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The ultimate in recycling. And as long as stray dogs don’t start following me down the street? It should be fun trying.

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Catching up with backyard visitors.

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Just some random photos I cleared off my camera the other day.

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This was the last sighting of our blue eyed fawn from last year.

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Photos were taken in January and though we’ve seen some full grown deer this month, it’s hard to tell if he’s among them.

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Can you see the visitor in this pic?

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It’s a Red Tail Hawk who uses our backyard as his hunting ground.

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Close proximity to the bird feeders makes for some tasty dove nuggets.

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He’s a young hawk and is still mastering his technique.

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While it’s hard to see piles of feathers litter the ground, these birds of prey really are fabulous creatures. And if he swoops down and claims a certain red rodent….. I can’t say I’ll be heartbroken.

😈

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And you thought yesterday’s Cosmo selection was bad….

30 Comments

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The April issue of Cosmopolitan was chock full of ridiculousness, some of which I shared yesterday. But there was one more (helpful?) article that deserved attention… and a blog of its own.

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Are you awake yet? Good… please continue.

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For once I’m glad to be in the minority. Thankfully, smart phones had not yet been invented during my years on the dating scene … but if a guy I was seeing had mailed me a Polaroid of his pecker back then? I think I would have died laughing. Alas, times have changed and the dick pic is probably here to stay. So for the sake of any single male readers who happen to drop by, here are a few hints to get the most out of your … um… personal attributes.

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Think how much easier Anthony Weiner’s life would be if only he’d had a subscription to Cosmo.

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Are they? What gives it away…. The One Direction poster in the background or that pair of Chelsea boots under your bed.

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Best. Advice. Ever.

Trust me fellas, no one wants Cockzilla.

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Toys.

24 Comments

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten loves to play.

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Which is why we have an entire drawer dedicated to cat toys.

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He loves his toys long and hard … and his favorite mouse is looking a little worse for wear these days.

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But then so am I, so I shouldn’t judge.

His favorite new thing to do is carry a ball to a spot under the coffee table….

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And then wind himself around a leg.

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He goes around and around in a circle and it’s quite comical to watch.

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Until I took a closer look and realized most of the coffee table legs now look like this…

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Sigh.

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Cosmo Hell.

24 Comments

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The April issue of my (is this awful gift ever going to end?) Cosmopolitan subscription is here and as usual, it’s filled with things too ridiculous not to share.

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Fashion… or do designers just have twisted senses of humor? Tough call.

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This months quiz was pretty lame. And in case you’re interested…

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This next one made me laugh as well as cringe.

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If that doesn’t make your eyes roll, nothing will.

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I don’t know about you, but I neither have.. nor need… to bathe my crystals.

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Is it any wonder this country is going down the proverbial drain?

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Date ideas seemed like an interesting read and a good way to see how things have changed since I was on the market back in the dark ages of the 80’s.

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Mario Kart can improve your sex life? What am I missing here….

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Wow. I know I’m middle aged, menopausal and not as hip as I once was (the casual use of the word hip proves the veracity of that statement even more than the scrunchie that’s currently holding my hair back) but cutting each other’s toenails on a date? That makes me very glad I’m old, happily married and way off the singles track.

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A spring resurgence.

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This time of year brings the return of warmer temperatures, green grass and two of my favorite things.

They’re baaaaack!

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Well, at least one of them is. Our first returning woodchuck has made an appearance in the back yard. Let the games begin.

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And speaking of games….

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Red Sox baseball is back and available for viewing in the newly used to be a barn filled with crap remodeled man cave.

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Yes, watching my favorite team at my beloved Fenway Park while perched at our private bar sipping a cocktail is the very definition of sweet.

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The first few games? Not so much. Pitching will be a problem this year and getting swept by the Orioles on our home turf was depressing to say the least. But we whooped Florida and swept Baltimore in their home park. Life is good.

😉

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Random drivel.

26 Comments

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A while back my husband dragged an ottoman into the living room. The fact that it barely matches the armchair and doesn’t match the sofas at all drives me crazy….

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But it’s perfectly Lord Dudley Mountcatten sized and he loves it …

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So it stays. Sigh.

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Can someone please explain this to me…. because honestly, I’m flummoxed. Who in their right mind craves alcohol free gin?

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Live your best life… without alcohol? People really do be crazy.

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Why am I posting a photo of our water heater? Because the insanely expensive, fancy schmancy hybrid heat pump unit we installed barely 3 years ago is dead. After 2 visits from our plumber and one from the company’s rep, it was determined the computerized control board has malfunctioned. It’s a rarity, but once in a while you get a lemon. And we all know if there’s a lemon to be found? We will find it. Problem is, the boards are expensive and no one has them in stock.

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But along with the aggravation comes a new appreciation for why people only bathed once a month in olden days. Heating pots of water, and schlepping them to the tub is bad enough, but trying to duck in out of the cold shower spray long enough to wash and condition a head of long hair is torture. Maine well water in early spring? Like a quick dip in the Arctic Ocean…. minus the penguins. So if you happen to see me in the grocery store this week? Be sure and pass upwind. I haven’t showered in 3 days..

🤢

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