Tag Archives: humor

The road, the bridge, the resort… and geese. Lots and lots of geese.

 

Day 2 began with us leaving the tackiest Holiday Inn in America and me vowing never to let my husband plan any part of a trip ever again.

Leaving Delaware we crossed into Maryland, where we passed through an interesting  town.

 

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Seriously…. it’s a place.

Matter of fact, I know quite a few people who should live there.

And if you’ve ever wondered if Maryland is considered the south?

 

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When you grow cotton in your front yard? Yes.

It’s the south.

Next up?

 

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The Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel.  A marvel of engineering that we hadn’t been over in 20 years.

 

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Yes, it costs $18 to cross…

 

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But it’s the world’s largest bridge tunnel complex and spans 17.6 miles.

 

 

If you’ve never done it?

 

 

You should.

 

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On the other side is Virginia Beach.

 

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Many more tunnels…

 

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And this bizarre looking building. Any native Virginians know what it is?

Blah, blah, blah…. husband speeding, me taking pictures, we arrive at our temporary home for our first week in Williamsburg.

After proving our reservation at the security gate, we entered the Historic Powhatan Resort.

 

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May I just say? Wow.

Though I always thoroughly research the time share resorts where we stay and try to book the best places, you never really know what you’ll find.

This time?

I nailed it.

 

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256 acres of natural beauty…. and geese.

 

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Quiet, peaceful open spaces…. and geese.

 

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Ponds, fountains… and geese.

 

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We drove around for quite a while just taking it in, before even looking for our unit.

 

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Did I mention there’s a Manor House dating to 1735?

 

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The land was originally a plantation, and they’ve done a beautiful job restoring the place.

 

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Did I mention there were geese?

 

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Geese!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you ready for a vacation smackdown?

 

You had 2 days off in between trips… and I threw in some Bambi pics as well. Are we good?

Good!

I admit I might have gone a little overboard with the Williamsburg, Virginia vacation photos this time…. like 3,089 pics overboard.

So sue me.

It was a fabulous trip, a marvelous Christmas and a wonderful place to explore. What can I say? When I’m old and feeble I’ll enjoy looking back on them all. (If I can remember why there are so many pictures of rocks…. and who that strange man is of course.)

Time to fasten your seat belts and loosen your pants!

The trip starts now.

 

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Okay… but fair warning, that may not be until June.

Not wanting to put the miles and wear and tear on my car, we rented one. Well, I rented one. A mid size SUV like I always do… but when we arrived at the lot, they didn’t have any and had to upgrade us to luxury.

Cool beans!

We could pick the Audi or the Infiniti.

So what did my husband pick?

 

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The Chevy Suburban.

 

 

Which happens to be the biggest, thirstiest, most annoying  lumbering behemoth vehicle ever made. A nightmare to park. A horror show for short people like me to board. A useless third row seat we didn’t need and couldn’t figure out how to fold down. Gas stations? We dreaded the mere sight of them after a few days. So why did my spouse choose it?

Because it was big.

And he’s a man.

Enough said.

Our trip from Maine started out like this:

 

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With buckets of the same for the first few states.

 

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When we were nearing Hartford, Connecticut it let up, but we hit road construction….

 

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And this rather precarious way of shoring up of the highway made me cringe.

 

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I guess I should be glad they didn’t use duct tape, but still.

 

 

Next up was my least favorite part of the trip….

 

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New York City.

Don’t get me wrong, I was born and raised in New Jersey… I can hang. But riding shotgun with my  (leadfooted, 2 centimeters from the car in front of us, switch lanes like it’s the Indy 500)  husband…. in the Black Brontosaurus?

Would test Ironman’s nerves.

 

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Though I can honestly say it’s the only time in my life I’m thankful for bumper to bumper traffic.

 

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Reduce speed?

 

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I don’t think that’s possible.

I’d post some great pics of our trip over the famous George Washington bridge, but the husband always takes the upper truck level…. so basically this was my view:

 

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But here’s one peek through the fog.

 

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After the bridge? It’s New Jersey…

 

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And the swamps they built the Meadowlands on.

 

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If you’ve ever wondered where Tony Soprano and his boys dumped the bodies?

It would be here.

 

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Oil refineries aside, you have to admit that the foul, smoggy New Jersey air does make for a dramatic sky.

Onward through the evening we drove, with the husband choosing our route. If you know me…. you know I’m type A and like to plan. Letting him pick a spot for us to spend the night was torture, but I sucked it up and endured.

I endured him picking a random town in Delaware because he liked the name, Red Lion.

Did Red Lion, Delaware have any hotels you ask?

No.

It did not.

And trust me, we drove around for almost an hour trying to find one even though I Googled it and came up empty. We did however find this:

 

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A Christmas extravaganza house that was blocking traffic.

 

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I can barely keep 2 reindeer lit… WTH?

After admitting defeat, the husband drove another 40 minutes to Dover, Delaware and pulled into the first Holiday Inn he saw.

 

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I had my doubts when I saw the lounge was decorated in early bordello. Yes… satin furniture and rhinestone encrusted mirrors.

Thankfully our room was toned down from that…

 

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But it did have some interesting features.

 

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Mainly, the lighting.

 

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Is it me?

 

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Or did this over the bathroom sink fixture look like deer hooves?

 

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Come on…

There’s no reasonable Martha Stewart explanation for that.

 

 

And while this corner lamp reminded me of my mother and her pull down hair dryer of the 1960’s…..

 

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It was these over the bed reading lamps that were a little too proctology/gynecology themed for my taste.

 

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And don’t get me started on the art work.

 

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Really, don’t.

What the…. what?

So ends day one.

(And before you start screaming Martin…. road trips with my husband consist of a McDonalds lunch eaten in the car doing 90 mph and a perfectly horrible turkey dinner at a Bob Evans next to the hotel late that night. Neither were photo worthy!)

 

If you shovel… they will come.

 

With apologies to Kevin Costner….

 

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I’m talking about the deer.

 

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When snow covers the ground and grass is hard to find?

 

 

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Shoveling a path is a sure way to attract a crowd.

 

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Or a herd, as the case may be.

 

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We were really glad to see our resident 12 point buck survived hunting season.

 

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And visits daily with his harem.

 

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Of course he also chases them away when the treats run low.

 

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Cheeky bugger.

Here’s a little clip in between snow storms.

 

Product Hell.

 

Have you ever walked through a store and spotted products that make you do a double take?

I do it quite often and always stop to take pictures to rant/blog/post about later.

Here are a few of my latest finds:

 

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Pickle In A Pouch.

Unrefrigerated and languishing for God knows how long by the cash register?

That’s just wrong.

 

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But Big Papa anthropomorphized Pickle…

The Portly Pickle who’s arms are open wide and ready to wrap you in his pickley goodness??

So very, very wrong.

 

 

Then… there was this:

 

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A remote control Tom Brady helicopter.

Maybe Bill Belichick will use these to spy on opposing teams from now on,  who knows.

But I have to admit…

 

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I think they got Tom’s shade of lipstick just right.

 

 

And finally, there was this wireless keyboard and mouse I ordered from Amazon for the husband.

 

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Which looked great until we opened it and found it didn’t include a dongle. I went back to the Amazon listing and it said “Just plug and play”, so where the hell was it?

Let’s check the instructions.

 

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“Keybord”?

 

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Yeah.

Shame my Japanese is a little rusty.

 

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P.S.   The dongle?

Hidden in a compartment on the back of the mouse.

It’s always the last place you look.

 

 

 

Cape Cod Day 8…. turkeys, traffic and booze. The way most of our vacations end.

 

Day 8 dawned bright and sunny and it was time to pack up and head for home. Of course packing means different things to men and women. It takes me considerable time…. seeing that I actually unpack my suitcases and put things away.

Remember? Me unpacked…

 

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Husband’s idea of unpacked…

 

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Men.

You really are a separate species.

 

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The local turkey brigade came to wish us farewell.

 

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And soon we were crossing the famous Sagamore Bridge and leaving Cape Cod.

 

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It was a wonderful trip, and we enjoyed every minute of it. So much to see and do…. I’m sure we’ll go back someday.

Next step?

 

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Boston.

 

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And it’s horrible, absolutely inescapable, bumper to bumper traffic. If you can avoid it?

By all means, do so.

Cruising into New Hampshire on I-95 means one thing. The New Hampshire State Liquor store…. no tax!

 

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If we drive to our vacation? We stop here on the way back…. you almost have to. It’s like a rite of passage for New Englanders.

Snow.

Lobster.

And tax free booze.

What’s not to love?

 

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My haul this time included a few Game of Thrones inspired Johnnie Walker Christmas presents.

Ho, Ho, Ho!

And here’s a bone I’ll throw to all my food lovers.

Lunch.

 

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At a riverside restaurant.

 

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With an amazing beer selection.

 

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And a list that went on and on and on…

 

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To heck with the food…

 

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I could just happily sit there and drink all day.

 

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But yes, food.

 

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Homemade chicken tenders and side salad for the husband.

 

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And a massive portion of Truffle fries to accompany my chicken Caesar salad wrap.

So there you have it, the November Cape Cod trip.

The end.

Finito.

Done!

 

 

While I realize it took me until January 20th to finish this series, as I sit here typing this… I still have over 2 weeks worth of Williamsburg, Virginia Christmas vacation photos to sort through and post. So don’t be surprised if you’re seeing Santa and his reindeer right through April….

You’ve been warned.

 

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Cape Cod Day 7… Highfield Hall, some twigs and the last supper.

 

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Since we were in the area we thought we’d check it out.

 

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The Hall however, had other ideas and was locked up tight.

But there were twigs.

 

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Lots and lots….

 

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Of twigs.

 

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Cleverly wound twigs.

 

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Twigs you could walk through.

 

 

Big twigs.

 

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Really big twigs.

 

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Respect the twigs.

Got it.

 

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There was also a sunken garden….

 

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That was mostly dead since it was the middle of November.

 

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But it had whimsical birds on a polka dot tree in the middle, so that more than made up for it.

 

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Photo of the rear of the house we couldn’t get in.

Yes, it was a banner visit.

 

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Good thing there were twigs so it wasn’t a complete waste of time.

Blah, blah, blah… I know, you’re getting bored and are silently screaming for food.

 

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Our last meal in Cape Cod ended up being at the Stomping Grounds Grille in Buzzards Bay.

And while buzzards aren’t usually the best dinner companions…

 

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This place looked promising.

 

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It was basically a lovely old home…

 

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Retro fitted to a restaurant/bar.

 

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And while I was walking around…

 

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I discovered a theme.

 

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A rock and roll theme….

 

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And when I saw Jerry Garcia on the shelf?

I felt right at home.

 

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See? My kind of place…

 

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The cocktail list made me smile and order a few.

 

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As we chatted with the very personable bartender who told me there was a turntable in the back room with an album collection…. and we could play anything we liked.

 

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We were having such a good time I almost forgot to take pictures of the food, but here’s their stellar broccoli cheese soup. Soooo good.

Secret ingredient? Nutmeg.

 

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I’m afraid I don’t even remember what the husband had…. but here’s my crab cake burger with side spinach salad and cole slaw.

Yum.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cape Cod Day 7… Woods Hole aquarium Part 2.

 

So many wonderful creatures to photograph.

 

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The bizarre…

 

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To the beautiful…

 

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And back again.

 

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That’s a smile only a mother could love.

 

 

 

Seahorses.

 

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Is there anything weirder…

 

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Or more wonderful to watch swimming?

 

 

I think not.

 

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This was the largest tank in the aquarium.

 

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And the husband was fascinated by it’s largest occupant.

 

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I think they were having a moment.

 

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But we had to go upstairs….

 

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And take a peek from a different perspective.

 

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Not many aquariums will let you behind the scenes but Woods Hole is delightfully different.

You can chat with the staff who prepare the fish food…

 

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Groan at some bad jokes…

 

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And trade smiles with the residents.

 

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I swear he winked at me.

 

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I did not, but I do now.

We thoroughly enjoyed our visit and I hated to say goodbye.

 

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And by the looks of this guy, he was sorry to see us leave as well. To which I can only say…

 

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Alright, I could have said something else.

But this seemed appropriate.