News you can’t use.

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Because the world is filled with crazy headlines.

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It could be…. but it won’t.

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Is $11,500 too high a price for an air dried tush? I’m going with yes.

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I wondered why I couldn’t find any spinach at the grocery store this week. Mystery solved.

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The very definition of unusable news.

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Take two turds and call me in the morning?

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Imagine the black market possibilities here. Street corner conversations between dealer and buyer will be epic.

🤣

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My fingers are crossed.

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A large pile of junk has appeared at the bottom of the stairs to the cave of crap cellar…..

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And I can only hope its next step is out the door and to the dump.

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Because I’m not sitting on that any time soon.

Another pile of refuse sits on the opposite side…

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With an unidentified antique object I’m guessing is a device used to communicate with aliens on neighboring planets.

To be honest.. I’m surprised he’s willing to part with it.

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My Planet.. the end.

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A few more chuckles from Mary Roach before I put this book to bed.

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My husband does not moisturize, though at times I wish he would.

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As you know I have a spouse who enjoys filling our kitchen with overpriced gadgets…. so I totally get this. Though thankfully no $345 pentolas have crossed our doorstep.

Yet.

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Touchless trash cans with sensor eyes? Please don’t tell my husband.

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Preach sister! My spouse never ever uses coins but has them stashed everywhere. In the den closet, in every vehicle cubbyhole, and yes in jars on the bedroom floor.

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Though he prefers pickle to sauerkraut.

🥴

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Have you ever felt like you were being stalked?

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According to my stats I’m on a path to having the highest monthly views since I got here four years ago.

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Granted I’ve been blogging about fascinating topics in January like the junk in our basement, crab balls and masturbating walruses… but still. The spike in readers seems a bit extreme.

And because I was curious which posts were popular, I checked.

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Turns out they all were.

But only once.

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I’m sure it’s just spammers, but most of the views are from the U.S., not India or Pakistan…. so it makes me wonder which one of you could be stalking my blog and searching my archives for pearls of wisdom like ‘Of Slime and Flies’?

Fess up. There’s no shame in the admission, we all need a hobby.

🤣

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Random nonsense.

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First a few oddities I saw while grocery shopping.

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Is the jerky still perky if it’s not turkey?

Is the turkey still perky if it’s not jerky?

Inquiring minds want to know.

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Chocolate and wine, two things I enjoy… but mixed together at the “fine wine” price of $7.99?

Probably not.

And now? A trending story on my town’s Facebook page.

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Technically he hasn’t crossed the road yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

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Because new margarita recipes must be shared.

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You can buy decorative logs on Wayfair… and I’ve just realized I can make a fortune selling the contents of our woodshed to idiots.

Score!

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Turning a corner.

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Shelves are being built in the cluttered dungeon cellar.

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And a corner is being turned.

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Even if it is with bits and pieces.

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On the wall to the right?

This.

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I’d like to tell you my husband fishes.

I really would.

And once the corner is turned?

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Floor to ceiling useless piles of nonsense stuff.

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Anyone need an early 18th century Acadian child’s trundle bed on wheels?

No, the Maine State Museum didn’t either.

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Good winter morning!

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There are a lot of reasons we love living in this house.

It’s in the fabulous state of Maine.

It’s in a small town in the country.

It’s surrounded by good neighbors, as well as horses, goats and chickens.

It has enough elbow room so we don’t have to see those neighbors unless we want to.

It has a steady parade of visiting wildlife.

But best of all?

We have perfect sunrises out the back windows and perfect sunsets out the front.

And when you wake up to this?

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It’s hard to find fault with your world.

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Good morning!

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❤️

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Let’s play.

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Because it’s easy… and you’re already here.

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I’m not a huge tv watcher so I have a generalized answer to this…

Any and every reality show ever produced. I’ve never watched one and I never will. They promote and reward bad behavior…. and if I want to see that?

I’ll just watch C-Span.

How about you? What popular show do you dislike…

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Some winter snaps.

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I’m so glad winter finally showed up. Cold temps and snow! It warms my little menopausal heart, as well as cools off the rest of me.

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There’s the husband shoveling a path to the bird feeders so our feathered friends don’t go hungry. He’s such a good egg.

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We use this table as snow gauge. It piles up so perfectly, how could we not?

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Once the snow caps these boxwood shrubs, the birds take cover underneath. It drives Lord Dudley Mountcatten insane.

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Sunrise over the backyard reveals the deer superhighway.

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We don’t have virgin fresh fallen snow for long.

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❤️ 🦌 ❤️

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