News you can’t use.

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Because it’s Monday and we all feel useless.

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And as far as I’m concerned… Florida can keep them.

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Dandelion condoms?

Who looked at that pesky weed and thought, gee … that looks like great birth control.

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Proof positive rough Saturday nights have been around for a verrrrry long time.

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I’m guessing other things will be boosted. Be sure to stay upwind…

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That’s one tough bird.

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Not my idea of paradise, but to each their own.

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Is there nothing it can’t cure?

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Have you ever tried mushroom coffee?

I didn’t know it was a thing until my Facebook page started exploding with ads for the damned stuff.

I don’t drink coffee so I’m not apt to try it, but if you believe their ads this miracle beverage is like a Ginsu knife from the 70’s… it does everything.

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Impressive.

Though if I was the lady on the left I think I’d contact a doctor before reaching for mushroom coffee.

😳

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A fresh coat and a floating snowman.

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We woke up to six inches of new snow in our part of Maine this morning.

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Enough to make everything look fresh…

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Enough so the rhodendrons are wearing white hats.

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Enough so the husband had to shovel his way out to feed the birds.

(He’s started bringing the feeders inside every evening because once the deer eat all their treat, the greedy bastards turn to our feeders and break them all trying to extract the seed)

But as much as I love a fresh snow fall, it was this Facebook story that made me smile the widest.

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Chebeague is an island in Casco Bay.

I lived there for 6 marvelous years during my late adolescence.

My father died and is buried there.

I met and married my husband there when he was home on leave from the Marine Corps.

Accessible only by boat, life there can be tough. But it’s also magical.

So it doesn’t surprise me that this little snowman built near the water…

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Should break free and go on a grand adventure.

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I like to think he’s still out there somewhere ….

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On his way across the Atlantic.

❤️

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Let’s play.

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If you’ve never read a Stephen King book or watched a Stephen king movie?

Never mind.

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I’ve never been on a cruise, and have no desire to board a floating Petri dish of noro virus contagion… but if forced?

I’d bring John Coffey from The Green Mile, the only Stephen King book that literally made me weep. If you don’t think the master of horror and weirdness can pen a heartfelt and beautiful story? You need to read The Green Mile. I dare you not to choke up when John cures the warden’s wife.

That poor man is in dire need of a vacation.

And if John can’t come, because.. you know, he’s dead?

I’d pick Andy Dufresne and Red, from The Shawshank Redemption. The other King masterpiece that proves he can really write if he wants to.

Andy, Red and me at the bar…. raising a glass to Rita Hayworth, second chances and friendship.

Yeah, I can see that.

How about you…

What Stephen King character are you taking on a cruise?

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Old photos and frog balls.

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I enjoy Brussels sprouts for dinner now and then, and have had tasty shaved sprouts salads….

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But no.

To the name and the idea.

🤢

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I beg to differ.

Has anyone measured our President?

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I found this old picture of us on the back of a lobster boat in a drawer the other day. Taken a few years after we were married, maybe 1988? My hair was a mess from being on the water, but I fondly remember having two fully functional (and thin!) knees.

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I can see that.

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Am I the only one who never knew this?

🥴

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Maps

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Because everyone loves questionable statistics.

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I live in a very difficult Poptart state.

Seeing that I never eat them, this is not a troublesome fact.

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I’ve been to the Cote D’Azur. I’ve been to a nude beach. Trust me, it’s not always pretty.

😳

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It may be legal, but I’ve never tried it.

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Margaritas for the win.

Salud!

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Europeans.

They’re too busy drinking wine.

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I’ve lived in Maine on and off for 30 years and have never known a Jake. Make of that what you will.

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This is one statistic where I’m very glad to score low.

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Narrowing down the search.

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Yes, there are still bare wires sprouting from our wall because the husband and I can’t agree on a choice of new sconces.

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I really liked this one…

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But it’s almost 13 inches wide and wouldn’t fit. .

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Please note blogger Brian Lageose’s hilarious book Peppered Fruit to the right, nestled above Stephen King.

I got you brother.

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I thought this mission light fixture would work…

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Since our hutch…

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And front door are the same style…. but the husband hated it.

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The husband liked this one, but it looked too much like a library reading lamp to me.

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So we ordered this one.

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Which can be mounted either way.

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And these.

For two totally different feels, and will return whichever pair doesn’t work.

Or both if we hate them equally and will curse all the brick and mortar light fixture stores that closed in our area for forcing me to shop online where I can’t gauge quality.

🥴

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News you can’t use.

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All the news that’s not fit to print, right here. Just for you.

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They say it’s for safety in case of a crash, but these days I’m thinking it’s to stop them from punching annoying passengers. Lord knows I’ve wanted to a few times.

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If you’re a hermit crab it’s so other crabs don’t steal your home. If you’re human?

No comment.

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This does not bode well.

At all.

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No good can come from this.

😳

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As in cutting a hole in the back of them and… well, yeah.

🥴

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If anyone could push quantum physics to its limit?

It’s a cat.

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I call foul.

If you’ve ever been on top of the snow covered slopes? You’re going to remember to wear pants. Trust me on this.

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Answering the age old question, what do Olympians do when not competing?

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Valentine’s fun.

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My day started with a sweet little flower delivery.

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With some gorgeous peach and pink roses.

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The colors were lovely.

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And they were in full bloom.

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42 Valentine’s Days together and he still sends me flowers. I must be doing something right.

❤️

There was also a box of artisan alcoholic truffles.

My husband knows me well.

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Okay, I already ate the Kahlua.

So sue me.

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We went out for a late lunch to the home of the world’s best pork chop we’ve visited before so I’ll spare you another review… other than to say my meal was superb.

PORK TENDERLOIN RISOTTO —

Maine Family Farms roasted pork tenderloin, arborio rice, onion, white wine, cream, thyme, brie, brown sugar peach sauce.

This place knows pork. Yum!

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Next door? An elephant who clearly disregards parking bans.

And finally, in honor of Valentine’s Day.

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Hearts pop up everywhere…

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And it’s just what’s needed to brighten gloomy winter spirits.

❤️

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