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Let me preface this post by saying I’ve always had good teeth.

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I’ve never had a cavity, a filling, a chip, a crack, or an abscess. My teeth aren’t loose or sensitive to cold. I’ve never had a root canal or bridge work and I still have all my wisdom teeth. So when my orthopedist PA said I needed dental clearance before they could do knee replacement surgery? I thought sure… no problem.

Never having issues, I admit it’s been a while since I’ve seen my dentist. Long enough for him to retire and close his practice apparently. But no worries … since I just needed a quick letter of good health I booked a free first appointment with the chain I would otherwise avoid, Aspen Dental.

I figured a quick in and out.

But I was wrong.

They took 18 X-rays, and found no abnormalities. Matter of fact they kept commenting to each other- she has all her teeth! (Kudos to my ancient and decrepit body for providing them with that surprise.)

After the X-rays they poked and prodded and tried to wiggle but found nothing wrong. Thinking I was about to walk out the door with my clearance letter, I was more than a little surprised when they told me they couldn’t sign off.

Couldn’t sign off until they scheduled me for a deep root cleaning and scaling saying I had some tartar buildup on my back teeth. Big deal, doesn’t everyone? I began to protest which is when they launched into this long winded speech about possible infection under the gum line that can lead to periodontal disease.

I wanted to argue but really couldn’t as they held the power of the pen and I needed the clearance to get my knee replacement surgery date… which they damn well knew.

A week later, scraped, cleaned and found to have no infection… (who knew? I did. 😡)… I had my letter.

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And a very expensive letter it was.

Are you sitting down?

Because I walked out of there $3,500 poorer.

Three thousand five hundred dollars. For a glorified tooth brushing that took all of a half hour.

Holy crap on a cracker!

I felt ripped off, and upset for people who can’t afford such nonsense.

And my teeth?

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They don’t look one bit brighter.

Boo to that.

😡

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