If I looked like that? I think death would be preferable.
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Because someone is peeing in it.
I recently read an article that said 62% of people urinate in the shower. I don’t, never have and never will… but that’s a high percentage. Clearly someone is.
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See?
I told you.
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Worst.
Vacation.
Ever.
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Why does everything in Australia want to kill you?
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Bad enough the Aussies have the most deadly snakes and spiders, but now the trees are out to get you.
Damn.
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That you’re an idiot.
But wait, there’s more.
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Proof that mom’s advice to keep your hands out of your pants wasn’t always spot on.
On a recent rainy Saturday morning, my husband wanted to hit a giant yard sale. It was over an hours drive away, but he swore it would be worth it.
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It was large, I’ll give him that. Located at a fairgrounds, the sellers were set up outside as well as in.
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Here’s the husband searching for treasure.
He didn’t find any… because the percentage of tables that were selling actual yard sale items instead of arts and crafts was probably 20%. This pleased me to no end because if there’s one thing we don’t need any more of, it’s useless junk treasure.
After a fruitless search outside, he headed in. And that’s where my eyes started rolling the fun began.
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The circled item on the table? A roll of Barack Obama toilet paper the seller pointed out… making the mistake of thinking my older, white haired, Marine Corps hatted, veteran husband was MAGA. This happens a lot, and my husband never wastes time correcting the mistake.
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I’m afraid this Rush Limbaugh shirt wearing fellow got an earful. And an eyeful of backed up facts from the husband’s phone. Nothing my guy likes more a political debate.
Thankfully it didn’t get heated.
And ironically…
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He bought something there. A vintage wooden F.H. Roberts – Apollo chocolate crate from Boston.
Proving even ideological differences can’t stop commerce.
Done at the fairgrounds, we headed home in the pouring rain. Not that it stopped my husband from stopping at other yard sales.
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Sigh.
On the drive home…
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A driftwood lobster claw and another business that ignores adverbs.
After arriving home, I checked WordPress and found they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for atta boys.
I’ve only seen three baby chucks this year which is unusual as momma tends to have four or five. But one of them is brave and has been scampering off on his own.
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Right up on our deck.
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After a rain shower.
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He was a bit damp and bedraggled.
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And stopped for a quick drink.
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Before heading back home.
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They’re so cute when they’re young and uncoordinated.
Dip back into your childhood memories and answer this one.
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I remember neighborhood rounds of Spotlight.
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Though not with the “put up your hands or I’ll shoot” vibe Wiki is working here.
It was basically nighttime hide and seek with a flashlight and I doubt kids play it today.
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The world isn’t as innocent a place as when I was playing. Hiding in the bushes at night and being flushed out with lights is probably a good way to get shot today.
What (hopefully less dangerous) game did you play as a kid that’s faded into oblivion now ?
Day two of the storm door project started at 9:00am as we laid out the pieces and parts of the handles we were told were included, but weren’t.
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Things were a little confusing at first but after a long discussion over instructions, we thought we had it.
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Holes were drilled. Hopefully where they were supposed to be.
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Wood on the frame was cut and chiseled out because naturally the holes from our old door didn’t match the new.
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Handle and locks in place, it was secured and ready to shut.
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Only it didn’t.
Wouldn’t.
No matter how much we tinkered and tried.
So we had to take it all off and start again, trying to figure out where we went wrong.
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See that piece? We came to hate that piece quite quickly. Virulently and utterly.
It’s part of the locking mechanism that drops down into the door. There’s only one way to put it in, one way to secure it… which we did. Repeatedly. But the stupid piece was backward, and for the life of us we couldn’t figure out why. We started questioning left and right, up and down but no matter what we did we couldn’t make it work.
The storm door can be hinged on either side. The handles can be installed on either side. So why wouldn’t it work?
We drove ourselves nuts for 2 solid hours fiddling with (and cursing) it.
My husband swore I’d bought the wrong handle and that they were designated for left and right hand opening. I knew they weren’t and swore we were just missing something simple.
Frustrated, he removed all the hardware, packed it up and drove it back to the store with receipts, instructions and pictures… determined to get satisfaction.
At 3:00pm he came back with an answer.
The one he had to ask two salesmen, a door rep and the assistant manager to get.
The one the instructions made absolutely no mention of.
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You take the piece out and flip it over.
Seriously?
😳
It comes set up for a right hinged door and since we hinged on the left, it was indeed backward.
So why the #!*</+ don’t they tell you that!
Talk about aggravating.
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At 3:30pm on day two?
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After 11 total hours of “easy installation”?
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We had a new fully functional storm door.
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And I swear, if this one ever breaks?
We’ll just move.
It will be easier.
😊
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P.S…. the handles we were originally told came with the door but didn’t? The ones we had to make a special trip back to the store to purchase? The silly things were supposed to come with the door after all but are packaged separately and kept in the store room. When a special order comes in the clerk is supposed to grab the coordinating handles and add it to the delivery. So we did end up get a refund for that.
It’s a nice door, not top of the line because I refuse to pay more for a custom order storm door than I would a used car… but it’s a decent quality. Better than the floor models they have in stock.
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And as you can see, my husband paid close attention to the opening instructions.
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The box promised “Easy Installation” so we figured we could handle it.
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We were wrong.
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The instructions were daunting, and not overly clear.
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We had to check them so many times, I taped the sheet to the kitchen door for easy reference.
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We spent a good hour getting prepped and making sure everything was positioned properly.
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And then spent another hour installing the hinge rail…. incorrectly.
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Which, by the Swiss cheese condition of the door frame? Clearly we weren’t the first to do.
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After another hour of fiddling… we high fived. The door was hung.
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This particular door has two hydraulic thingamabobs… you know, the doohickeys that hold it open. They’re not always easy to seat, so those instructions were taped to the door as well.
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The bottom one gave us trouble, as evidenced by the husband lying down on the job. It has this special whatchamacallit you tap with your foot to freeze the door open and it kept getting in the way of the screws needed to secure it.
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Another hour later, for a total of four, the door was hung. The whoosits were in place and we were ready to put on the handles and locks.
The ones the salesman told us came with the door.
The ones we didn’t have because they didn’t come with the door.
The ones the instructions said came separately.
The ones we had to make an hour long round trip to the store to purchase for an extra $100.
Grrr. 😡
By the time we got back, five and a half hours into the “easy installation”… we called it quits for the day and retired to the barn porch for adult beverages.
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With Lord Dudley Mountcatten trying in vain to push open the halfway installed door.