Window – 1. Bird – 0.

 

We live in the country with a large back yard…

 

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A field….

 

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and some woods.

 

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This leads to a lot of avian visitors.

Some of whom sadly commit suicide on our windows.

I wasn’t here when this particular bird went splat, but it did leave me a rather prominently placed clue in our bedroom.

 

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A perfect dead bird body print.

 

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Complete with wings.

 

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RIP little one.

 

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Baby barn work continues.

 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about my husband during our long and happy marriage, it’s that he doesn’t like to rush things.

Projects that should take a day, take a week. Projects that should take a week, take a month. Projects that should take a month, well… you get the idea. He’s been working on our big barn for what seems like forever and it’s still not finished.

 

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So our baby barn/shed needs to be torn down and rebuilt. Husband decided the frame of the building and the existing wood on the roof were sound, and is attempting to tear down the rotten parts and rebuild around them.

First off is the old shingles.

 

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There’s no real reason for this picture other than the fact I love to see a man sweeping.

It’s porn for women.

 

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But I digress…..

 

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Shingles off the front side, tar paper off the lower half.

 

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Section of roof off… so he can remove the section of wall below.

 

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It was at this point he decided to level the building.

 

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And that involved stomping all my flowers into the dirt, which made me….

 

 

And run for a trowel.

 

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Flowers dug up…

 

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Potted and moved to the relative safety of the big barn porch.

Of course by the time I’d turned around, he’d stolen bricks and edgers from my garden beds to raise the building.

 

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Which made me….

 

 

And run to gather them up before I was left borderless.

 

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One new section of wall in place, old section of roof replaced.

 

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If you’re wondering how long this operation took?

An entire 4 day holiday weekend.

Yes, 4 friggin’ days!

Reason being, my husband is the least organized man on earth and had none of the materials he needed when he started this project and kept having to run to the store… a half an hour away. He can also never find any of his tools and spends 20 minutes cursing and kicking things over looking for them until he gives up and asks me.

Of course he also had to get a haircut, have breakfast with the boys, hit a yard sale, drive an hour to complain to the man who painted his truck last year because it’s already starting to chip, visit his brother, sharpen the lawn mower blades, stop at the pub for a beer and wash his car. Did he have to do all that while trying to rebuild the baby barn?

No. He did not.

But now you see why weekend projects take months.

Fast forward to Monday afternoon. We lay out and cut tar paper…

 

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While a storm moves in.

 

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Have you ever tried to lay tar paper on a roof in the wind and rain?

 

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It’s not fun. Yours truly was on the other ladder and had to put  her phone inside so there aren’t any pictures of me soaking wet and wind blown…. laying across the paper as it was ripping off the roof in a deluge.

Good times.

 

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At this rate, I think the project will be done by the time Elon Musk reaches Mars….

Or Richard Simmons stages a comeback.

 

 

Stay tuned.

 

 

 

 

Things I like today… Part 7

 

I like…

This tee shirt I picked up at Goodwill the other day.

 

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If my husband would just follow this one simple rule, life would be so much more pleasant.

I like…

The new yellow kiwi fruit.

 

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Have you tried them?

 

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Yum!

I like….

The Annual Damariscotta PumpkinFest Regatta.

(And you thought we only raced zucchini in Maine. Pfft!)

 

 

 

But this year, I really like the pumpkin they’re using to advertise it.

 

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I like…

Finding multiple praying mantises (manti?) on the baby barn we’re remodeling.

Did you know the female praying mantis bites off her partner’s head after sex?

Clearly she’s a woman who doesn’t like to cuddle.

 

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I like…

Apple season.

 

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Our trees are loaded with juicy fruit…

And soon my belly will be full of juicy pie and fritters.

 

actual video of me after eating juicy pie and fritters

Well, this is new….

 

We’re inundated by telemarketers.

The phone rings day and night with scammers and I’ve gotten to the point where if I don’t recognize your number, I don’t answer.

 

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Sorry, even then.

We get all the usual ones…. Rachel from card holder services, the IRS, Windows tech support, expiring warranties, and occasionally the bank who wants me to pay back the college loans I never took.

But the other day, this message broke the monotony.

 

 

 

If any of my readers are fluent in Chinese….

Can you please tell me what I ordered and when it will be delivered?

 

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( Game of Thrones may be over…

But the memes live on. )

 

 

 

 

Oops.

 

I learned a lesson the other day… the hard way.  (If there’s any other way, I’ve yet to find it.)

In April I received a recall notice for Ethel. (Yes, my car’s name is Ethel)

No big deal, it was something about a brake light switch. I stuck the notice in the drawer thinking, yeah…I’ll have to make an appointment at the dealership sometime.

Which means I promptly forgot all about it.

Then two months ago, we were leaving our friend’s place at camp. They have the driveway from Hell… steep and unpaved. We were backing out, hit some loose gravel and bing! bam! boom! all my warning lights started flashing on the dash. ABS, Vehicle Dynamics Control, Hill Assist.

You name it, it was flashing.

 

 

I thought, oh hell… we knocked some silly computer module out of whack.

But the car drove perfectly fine and by the time we got home all the lights were out…. so I didn’t give it a second thought. Until this Monday when I went grocery shopping, pulled into the parking lot and shifted into park. Bing! Bam! Boom! all the warning lights flashed again.

Warning lights. What do I know about warning lights?

 

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I mean heck, if they had useful ones….. it would make sense.

 

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But these things were going off for absolutely no reason. Again, my only thought was… stupid computers.

Until I loaded all my groceries in the car, started it and couldn’t shift.

Nada. Nothing. Frozen in park.

Of course it was a hot day…. and of course ice cream was on sale so I’d bought 4 containers. As everything melted into soup, I fiddled and faddled and cursed and finally managed to get it in gear to drive home.

Where it froze in park again.

Moral of the story?

 

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When the manufacturer sends you a recall notice? There’s a reason…. go have it taken care of.

It may just be a brake light switch, and they may assure you “only a small handful of vehicles have had serious issues”….. but if it’s one in three million?

It’s going to be me.

I’m lucky that way.

I love my town… Part 2

 

More blurbs from my town’s FB page that are too good not to share.

Lots of things were lost this month….

 

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Along with Batman, there was the weekly pig escape.

 

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Before moving here, I never knew errant pigs were such a problem.

And apparently sheep are as well.

 

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Big white coffee tables.

Ya gotta love it.

This next one was amusing as well.

 

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I’m not sure a bat circling your couch is a valid reason to call 911…. but I never saw the update, so maybe I’m wrong.

And finally, there was this….

 

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Glad I wasn’t in town that day….

Thankfully our air was fish stink free.

 

 

Things I don’t like today… Part 3

 

I don’t like….

Weed wacking around one of our stone walls and having a frog jump out in front of me.

I swear I didn’t see him…

 

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And literally cut him in half.

*Gulp*

 

I don’t like…..

Sitting at a bar and having a creepy disembodied head on a stick tied to a doll stare at me all night.

 

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Like I need another reason to drink?

Ack!

 

I don’t like….

Being disappointed.

Remember when I posted about the miracle of my husband cleaning out the garage, and how the old sink he brought home from the dump was gone?

 

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Yeah. I found it in the barn.

Very disappointing.

And finally,

 

I don’t like….

Pressure.

 

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Since my husband can’t decide when he’s going to retire, he’s forbidden any travel this year so he can sell back his leave.

Doesn’t he realize I’m duty bound to blog our adventures?

Damn it…

Now someone will beat to me to it!