Window – 1. Bird – 0.

 

We live in the country with a large back yard…

 

IMG_3398 (480x640)

 

A field….

 

IMG_9289

 

and some woods.

 

IMG_7941

 

This leads to a lot of avian visitors.

Some of whom sadly commit suicide on our windows.

I wasn’t here when this particular bird went splat, but it did leave me a rather prominently placed clue in our bedroom.

 

IMG_6053

 

A perfect dead bird body print.

 

IMG_6054

 

Complete with wings.

 

IMG_6055

 

RIP little one.

 

IMG_1427

Baby barn work continues.

 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about my husband during our long and happy marriage, it’s that he doesn’t like to rush things.

Projects that should take a day, take a week. Projects that should take a week, take a month. Projects that should take a month, well… you get the idea. He’s been working on our big barn for what seems like forever and it’s still not finished.

 

repaying-student-loan

 

So our baby barn/shed needs to be torn down and rebuilt. Husband decided the frame of the building and the existing wood on the roof were sound, and is attempting to tear down the rotten parts and rebuild around them.

First off is the old shingles.

 

IMG_5994

 

There’s no real reason for this picture other than the fact I love to see a man sweeping.

It’s porn for women.

 

porn-for-women-book2-640x533

 

But I digress…..

 

IMG_5995

 

Shingles off the front side, tar paper off the lower half.

 

IMG_6006

 

Section of roof off… so he can remove the section of wall below.

 

IMG_6009

 

It was at this point he decided to level the building.

 

IMG_6011

 

And that involved stomping all my flowers into the dirt, which made me….

 

 

And run for a trowel.

 

IMG_E6017

 

Flowers dug up…

 

IMG_6015

 

Potted and moved to the relative safety of the big barn porch.

Of course by the time I’d turned around, he’d stolen bricks and edgers from my garden beds to raise the building.

 

IMG_6019

 

Which made me….

 

 

And run to gather them up before I was left borderless.

 

IMG_6039

 

One new section of wall in place, old section of roof replaced.

 

IMG_6021

 

If you’re wondering how long this operation took?

An entire 4 day holiday weekend.

Yes, 4 friggin’ days!

Reason being, my husband is the least organized man on earth and had none of the materials he needed when he started this project and kept having to run to the store… a half an hour away. He can also never find any of his tools and spends 20 minutes cursing and kicking things over looking for them until he gives up and asks me.

Of course he also had to get a haircut, have breakfast with the boys, hit a yard sale, drive an hour to complain to the man who painted his truck last year because it’s already starting to chip, visit his brother, sharpen the lawn mower blades, stop at the pub for a beer and wash his car. Did he have to do all that while trying to rebuild the baby barn?

No. He did not.

But now you see why weekend projects take months.

Fast forward to Monday afternoon. We lay out and cut tar paper…

 

IMG_6022

 

While a storm moves in.

 

IMG_6023

 

Have you ever tried to lay tar paper on a roof in the wind and rain?

 

IMG_6024

 

It’s not fun. Yours truly was on the other ladder and had to put  her phone inside so there aren’t any pictures of me soaking wet and wind blown…. laying across the paper as it was ripping off the roof in a deluge.

Good times.

 

not

 

At this rate, I think the project will be done by the time Elon Musk reaches Mars….

Or Richard Simmons stages a comeback.

 

 

Stay tuned.

 

 

 

 

Things I like today… Part 7

 

I like…

This tee shirt I picked up at Goodwill the other day.

 

IMG_6212

 

If my husband would just follow this one simple rule, life would be so much more pleasant.

I like…

The new yellow kiwi fruit.

 

IMG_6210

 

Have you tried them?

 

IMG_6211

 

Yum!

I like….

The Annual Damariscotta PumpkinFest Regatta.

(And you thought we only raced zucchini in Maine. Pfft!)

 

 

 

But this year, I really like the pumpkin they’re using to advertise it.

 

IMG_6214

 

I like…

Finding multiple praying mantises (manti?) on the baby barn we’re remodeling.

Did you know the female praying mantis bites off her partner’s head after sex?

Clearly she’s a woman who doesn’t like to cuddle.

 

IMG_6225

 

I like…

Apple season.

 

IMG_6231

 

Our trees are loaded with juicy fruit…

And soon my belly will be full of juicy pie and fritters.

 

actual video of me after eating juicy pie and fritters

Well, this is new….

 

We’re inundated by telemarketers.

The phone rings day and night with scammers and I’ve gotten to the point where if I don’t recognize your number, I don’t answer.

 

68e141cf7e0231ab0d23345c3a32671e559d8ad069c9257c9c2826584190a555

 

Sorry, even then.

We get all the usual ones…. Rachel from card holder services, the IRS, Windows tech support, expiring warranties, and occasionally the bank who wants me to pay back the college loans I never took.

But the other day, this message broke the monotony.

 

 

 

If any of my readers are fluent in Chinese….

Can you please tell me what I ordered and when it will be delivered?

 

images800O4OFL

 

( Game of Thrones may be over…

But the memes live on. )

 

 

 

 

Oops.

 

I learned a lesson the other day… the hard way.  (If there’s any other way, I’ve yet to find it.)

In April I received a recall notice for Ethel. (Yes, my car’s name is Ethel)

No big deal, it was something about a brake light switch. I stuck the notice in the drawer thinking, yeah…I’ll have to make an appointment at the dealership sometime.

Which means I promptly forgot all about it.

Then two months ago, we were leaving our friend’s place at camp. They have the driveway from Hell… steep and unpaved. We were backing out, hit some loose gravel and bing! bam! boom! all my warning lights started flashing on the dash. ABS, Vehicle Dynamics Control, Hill Assist.

You name it, it was flashing.

 

 

I thought, oh hell… we knocked some silly computer module out of whack.

But the car drove perfectly fine and by the time we got home all the lights were out…. so I didn’t give it a second thought. Until this Monday when I went grocery shopping, pulled into the parking lot and shifted into park. Bing! Bam! Boom! all the warning lights flashed again.

Warning lights. What do I know about warning lights?

 

h2F4935AD

 

I mean heck, if they had useful ones….. it would make sense.

 

purse

 

But these things were going off for absolutely no reason. Again, my only thought was… stupid computers.

Until I loaded all my groceries in the car, started it and couldn’t shift.

Nada. Nothing. Frozen in park.

Of course it was a hot day…. and of course ice cream was on sale so I’d bought 4 containers. As everything melted into soup, I fiddled and faddled and cursed and finally managed to get it in gear to drive home.

Where it froze in park again.

Moral of the story?

 

IMG_E5933.JPG

 

When the manufacturer sends you a recall notice? There’s a reason…. go have it taken care of.

It may just be a brake light switch, and they may assure you “only a small handful of vehicles have had serious issues”….. but if it’s one in three million?

It’s going to be me.

I’m lucky that way.

I love my town… Part 2

 

More blurbs from my town’s FB page that are too good not to share.

Lots of things were lost this month….

 

IMG_5795

 

Along with Batman, there was the weekly pig escape.

 

IMG_5796

 

Before moving here, I never knew errant pigs were such a problem.

And apparently sheep are as well.

 

IMG_E5936

 

Big white coffee tables.

Ya gotta love it.

This next one was amusing as well.

 

IMG_E5987

 

I’m not sure a bat circling your couch is a valid reason to call 911…. but I never saw the update, so maybe I’m wrong.

And finally, there was this….

 

IMG_E5971

 

 

Glad I wasn’t in town that day….

Thankfully our air was fish stink free.

 

 

Things I don’t like today… Part 3

 

I don’t like….

Weed wacking around one of our stone walls and having a frog jump out in front of me.

I swear I didn’t see him…

 

IMG_E5888

 

And literally cut him in half.

*Gulp*

 

I don’t like…..

Sitting at a bar and having a creepy disembodied head on a stick tied to a doll stare at me all night.

 

IMG_E5654

 

Like I need another reason to drink?

Ack!

 

I don’t like….

Being disappointed.

Remember when I posted about the miracle of my husband cleaning out the garage, and how the old sink he brought home from the dump was gone?

 

IMG_5941

 

Yeah. I found it in the barn.

Very disappointing.

And finally,

 

I don’t like….

Pressure.

 

IMG_E5305

 

Since my husband can’t decide when he’s going to retire, he’s forbidden any travel this year so he can sell back his leave.

Doesn’t he realize I’m duty bound to blog our adventures?

Damn it…

Now someone will beat to me to it!

 

I’m in love…. with a moth.

 

I know, it’s a little odd.

But if he was visiting your flowers? You’d love him too.

 

IMG_5956

 

Meet Herman.

 

IMG_5957

 

My hummingbird moth.

 

 

 

He’s been visiting everyday and I’m smitten.

 

IMG_E5965

 

Herman is special, and not often seen in these parts.

 

IMG_E5973

 

IMG_E5959

 

I know our love is doomed.

Interspecies relationships rarely work out….

 

IMG_E5958

 

But for now, I’ll enjoy every moment we share.

 

 

 

 

 

Damn…..

 

Living in Maine affords it’s residents numerous opportunities to attend fabulous competitive events. There are lobster trap runs, belt sander races, frying pan hurls, skiing Santa races, rubber duckie races and pumpkin drops. We even host the North American Wife Carrying contest.

But this year I missed a new one.

 

imagesCVU1PNEW

 

I missed it!

The social event of the season…. and I missed it.

 

IMG_E5938

 

Who knew you could have so much fun with a zucchini?

 

 

Besides that guy.

 

 

And okay, maybe her.

But either way, I missed a stellar event and will have to be sure and mark my calendar for next year.

Zucchini racing.

Coming to a track near you.

Time to fess up….

 

Which one of you boneheads is peeing in my birdbath every night?

Because this is getting old.

Every afternoon I clean out the birdbath.

 

IMG_5886

 

Filling it with sparkling clean, cool water for our birds to drink and take a bath.

And then every morning I wake up to this:

 

IMG_5885

 

Every single morning.

So…

Fun’s over. Admit your crime.

The midnight madness must stop.