Have you ever sat on an orthopedist’s table watching an ultra sound monitor as they stick a foot long red hot poker in your knee?
No? Well, I did yesterday morning… and oddly enough I don’t recommend it.
First it was a shot of lidocaine… which I can only describe as being injected with molten hot lava.
Yes, exactly like that.
Holy water? Pfft. Lidocaine’s got that beat hands down… and it was only the appetizer.
A minute later the big gun came out. Cortisone, to aid in pain relief and reduce inflammation from my deep root meniscus tear.
Pain relief? After a week of beached whale status on the couch I said bring it!
Holy mother of God. I’ve had cortisone shots before, but never in a deep rooted knee injury. And let me tell you, I never want to have one there again.
I realize that screaming isn’t the best thing to do in a doctors office as it tends to make the people in the waiting room uncomfortable, but damn. I couldn’t help it. That needle kept going in, and in, and in …
I yelped upon entry. (Lidocaine, you suck and didn’t dull a thing.)
I squealed when it was halfway there. (Numbing agent my ass.)
And when that foot long bastard finally got to where it needed to be? I think I was crying for my late mother.
And mind you, I’m the high pain tolerant girl who recovered from a full abdominal hysterectomy with no morphine or fentanyl because I’m narcotic resistant.
So did this torture session offer pain relief? My knee felt a little better later that afternoon.. but I woke up in the middle of the night with throbbing and swelling where I didn’t have it before. So now I’m dealing with the “temporary pain and inflammation at the injection site for 48 hours” that only a few lucky people experience.
Long story short?
It sucks to be me right now.