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My husband is a pretty tough guy. A career Marine. A Vietnam veteran. A man who calmly wades in when everyone else is running out. A straight shooter who sees the world in black and white. He’s not an anxious or nervous person. Nothing rattles him and I can honestly say in the almost 40 years we’ve been married, I’ve only ever seen him scared once.
Until yesterday, when I saw it again.
We received a call last week asking if we wanted to take a cancellation appointment that became available for his cataract surgery. It was originally slated for December 6th, so the husband jumped at the chance to have it done sooner.
We arrived early, and the prep began. This involved endless eye drops for dilation and numbing and some very sexy head gear.
.

.
As I stated earlier, I hope I’m never in this position. I’m eye squeamish and the mere thought of anyone getting near mine would make me bolt for the door. But my husband seemed fine… until the nurses started explaining exactly what would be transpiring in the operating room.
Was he nervous about them cutting into his eyeball? No.
But when they told him his arms would be tightly wrapped by his side and his head securely strapped down … his feet started to twitch. When they said a tent would be placed over his face and he wouldn’t be able to see anything… his blood pressure started climbing.
Scalpel to the eye? No problem.
Being restrained and not in control? Big problem.
The anesthesiologist arrived and spoke with him about the 3 sedation levels available. None, which is what he wanted. Light, and IV pushed. Seeing that his anxiety level was rising she suggested the IV.
My husband hates drugs and has never taken them. The feeling of losing control is anathema to him. But the longer he sat there thinking about it, the higher his blood pressure went and the nurses all agreed sedation would be necessary.
They gave him an IV and some type of relaxing anti anxiety drug. A sweet nurse held his hand and talked soothingly… but the minute the drug hit his system? He tried to fight it and was not a happy camper. Three nurses and the anesthesiologist tried to get him to relax, breathe deeply and let it calm him nerves… but my husband being my husband wasn’t having it. Under sedation his blood pressure rose to 179/115.
They kept asking if he was okay to proceed and he kept saying yes so they wheeled him off to surgery.
Only to return 10 minutes later saying it wasn’t going to happen.
Apparently when they got him strapped down and swaddled, no amount of drugs were enough to calm his anxiety and his doctor refused to go ahead with the surgery fearing my husband would move when he was supposed to remain perfectly still.
Back in the prep room… unwrapped , unstrapped and back in control… his blood pressure dropped to 124/75. He was embarrassed. Ashamed. And kept apologizing. The staff assured him that it happens all the time and not to be sorry. Everyone has their limits and he’d just found his.
The next step will be scheduling a hospital cataract removal where they put you completely under. No anxiety, no stress… just go to sleep and wake up to it being done.
Knocking me out would be the only way they’d ever get close to my eyes so it sounds like the perfect solution to me.
😊
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Being put under is scary. You are at the mercy of everyone in the room. It takes a great deal of trust…
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This practice couldn’t put you under completely, they just gives
anti anxiety relaxers…. which clearly didn’t work for my husband. A hospital setting will be required for the next step.
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Or, you could have the doctor sneak into your house while your husband is asleep…
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He does sleep pretty soundly.
Hmmm..
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great. Now I know what I have to look forward to. THanks Fred!!
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If you’re not a control freak like my guy, you’ll be fine.
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Wow. I like how they explained about finding limits. That’s very cool.
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I think they’re used to seeing people unable to handle being carved on while conscious.
😉
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Next time he’ll know what to expect.
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The next time he’ll be put completely under and won’t have time to stress.
😉
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Okay I’m not a person who gets antsy about medical procedures or having someone work on my eyes if needed. But just reading this and how he reacted to what they told him was going to happen, this many me very antsy! I don’t blame him one bit for reacting the way he did. Why did he opt for the mild sedation instead of the full hospital procedure? Poor hubs.
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This office wasn’t a hospital setting, they can’t do full sedation.
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Holy effing balls of suckotash!
I have has a minimum of 6 eye operations, maybe more. I have never been tied down or strapped in or anything like that! Yes, they put my head in a framework of some kind, but the only sedation I ever had was numbing drops in my eyes. All cutting was done by laser. I was awake, except the times I fell asleep on my own. Your eye clinic sounds like something out of Nazi Germany.
I thought the US was ahead of Canada when it came to medical procedures. I had my first laser eyecdurgery in 1994. So your clinic is at least 30 years behind mine. There is something wrong there. Big time wrong!
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Technique depends upon the surgery specifics and the surgeon. There might be a reason laser isn’t an option. Otherwise, it’s far more precise, faster, and “heals” better.
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I was never given a choice. I guess I was just lucky to go the right clinic.
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They do use a laser… it was the being wrapped up and not able to move or see that flipped him out.
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Perhaps, but this is one of the best in our area and that’s the way they do it.
🥴
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I would be scared too if I had to go through being tied down. I’m sorry for hubsy. It just sounds so barbaric. I shudder just thinking about it.
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He wasn’t really tied down, they just wrapped him up in a light blanket so his arms were stationary by his sides. But it was enough to flick his panic switch.
🥴
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Me too. I’m sorry you have got to be crazy to just accept whats happening. I know thru the process you dont feel or see anything but the drops numb and blur your vision…i would panic and think it would wear off. I have never had any kind of surgery or procedure needing to go under ever in 53 years…my anxiety would thru the roof for sure.
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I’ve only ever had one surgery and was totaled panicked beforehand. Stressed myself out for nothing, it was fine. But I was knocked completely out. That’s the way to go…
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So agree
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That would be the only way I could do it, too. I would flip out if I was strapped down like that and had to be awake while tools went into my eye.
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I know! How do people stand it?
😱
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I talked my mother into being put under for her cataracts because she was anxious. They did both at the same time and it went very well. It’s definitely what I will do when the time comes.
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They won’t do both at the same time here. But going under is definitely less stressful.
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Oh my goodness. My heart hurts for him. He tried, but just could not do it. I get it!! Being strapped down AND someone cutting on your precious eyes, it’s just too much.
Praying the next time this comes around, all will go smoothly for him.
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He was so ashamed afterwards. For no reason… I wouldn’t have gotten half as far as he did.
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Heck, I have to go under for a Colonoscopy so I imagine I would feel the same way about my eyes
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And he sails through those with no problem. It’s so odd, the procedure wasn’t the issue. Being restrained was.
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Yikes. I’m really sorry he experienced such anxiety. I’d probably take the light sedation myself; the idea of going completely under scares me more. Like you said, we all have our comfort zones.
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If they could have done it with out the arm restraints he might have been alright…
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I know it has its risks, but going under is the best. Count backward from 10 and by 7 you’re out. Wake up and head to Olive Garden because they made you fast for 24 hours beforehand.
So much sympathy to the husband. My skin is crawling just thinking about what he will have to go through, even if he is asleep for the whole thing.
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Thanks. I was cringing just sitting opposite him in the exam room…
🥴
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Aw, poor chap. Wouldn’t bother me but I can see how some people would find that scary
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He never thought it would bother him either. I guess you never know…
🥴
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