.
It’s less embarrassing than an enema, but only just.
.

.
I have a long list of bonehead moves but my most recent was a few years back. I’d pulled into a bank’s ATM machine… it was next to their drive thru window and on top of a short hill. For whatever reason, I wasn’t paying attention and when I realized I was too far away to reach the machine I opened my door, dropped my card and leaned out to retrieve it….
Without putting the car in park.
On a hill.
Not my brightest move.
Gravity is indeed a fickle b*tch… because the car went rolling, and so did I. Fell right out of the car on my knees and was dragged alongside it until I managed to reach in and push the brake. Unfortunately not before the left front fender slid along the concrete barrier and went crunch.
The drive thru teller saw the whole thing and half the bank emptied out in the parking lot to make sure I was okay. Other than a ripped knee on my jeans, the only thing hurt was my pride because I felt like a right royal idiot.
As soon as I got home the local police called and made me go downtown to fill out an accident report. When the officer asked what happened… I told him I had a blonde moment.
A moment that cost me over $1,800 in body work.
Duh.
Now you.
Share your stupidity!
.
OMG you were very lucky you weren’t injured.
For me, the last thing I have ever done. But no one seen me do it so couldn’t laugh along with me. But when I used to work at the council, for areas where only staff go, depending on door and which way your are going, you are either faced with a swipe system which you use your work card. Or its a door release button. Me… I have known on more than one occasion use swipe card on door button. Lol
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A simple mistake. Did you push the card swipe reader as well?
😉
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Lol. Surprisingly no. But at my other cleaning job, for some reason I pull out my own house keys (not work keys) for a door that a punch numbers door lock.😁
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Ha!
That may be even worse…
😉
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😁
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I think engaging a pastor in a heated argument ; I should have known better 🙂
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If the argument was about religion, yes. You probably should have…
😉
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yes,it was but I couldn’t shut up; I got on my high horse —
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In our first year of full-time RV I was taking the jeep off the towbar and we were parked on a downslope. I forgot to reengage the transmission before I released it and the jeep rolled forward pinning me at the knees between it and the RV. My wife had gone off to look at our site and I couldn’t get free. Nobody else was around. Had to stay that way for like ten minutes until she came back and backed the jeep off me.
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Damn! That could have gone wrong quickly…
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I’m glad you weren’t hurt but talk about an expensive mistake. I’d blame it on the ATM, you know according to Sheldon [TBBT] they’ll be the ones to lead the computer uprising against humans.
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This one will lead the charge…
😉
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Pulled up landscape fabric and stones (placed by some previous owner of the house next door) on a steep slope (that technically belongs to the golf course) near our back garden thinking I could beautify the area that abuts my own garden/property. It’s now a mass of weeds and invasive species that I can’t work because the hill is too steep. Shoulda just left it.
Of course, that’s not as bad as a friend of mine. When she bought her house decades ago, she actually PLANTED creeping charlie, thinking it was a desirable ground cover. As you can imaging, her vast property is now covered with it. Oy vey!
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Ugh. I battle creeping Charlie on a daily basis. It’s the devils own weed, I swear…
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Well, I don’t know if this counts but, when I was married I went to the supermarket with my horrid MIL, we walked the isles and she saw a can of Crisco. She put three in the cart and I asked her what she wanted to many cans for? I thought, she’s going to be frying a bunch of chicken or something, but no. She ACTUALLY believed that Crisco WAS fried chicken in a can. My MIL also bought all the trimmings for fried chicken as well. Rolls, corn on the cob, etc., and when I realized this it was so hilarious to me that I was like, there is no way I’m telling this woman who acts like she’s better than I am that there is no actual chicken in that can. The following Sunday we were invited to lunch and I sat there watching her dig out gobs and gobs of Crisco into a bowl……looking for the fried chicken! Now I know why my ex-hubs is a couple of cans short of a six pack…LMAO.
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Do they advertise fried chicken on the can ? How can someone be THAT stupid 🤣
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The can back in the day (80’s) the can had a fried chicken on the label. She’s from Mexico so she thought that the can was full of fried chicken, lol.
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Gotcha
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Oh. My. God.
🤣
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Married my high school girlfriend.
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BUT you were smart enough to divorce her
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Took me almost 15 years, but better late than never.
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🤣🤣🤣
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Oh boy i have a story like that but at least now I don’t feel as stupid 🤣, i once double parked my car in the snow and got out of the car but i still had it in drive and slid a bit till i could get back in the car and put it in park, by some miricle i didn’t damage my car or any of the parked cars
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You were lucky.
😊
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My cousin refinished the wood floor in the hall and told me when he left to make sure I reinstalled the floor grid ( intake for the furnace). I forgot and ended up stepping in the hole in the floor and flying headfirst into the wall. Made a big hole in the sheet rock and twisted my ankle.
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Ouch!
Not to mention oops..
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Mine was not quite as costly as yours, but I left an envelope full of money on a Safeway counter after paying for a few groceries. A friend had just repaid a gambling debt, and put the money in the envelope. In those days I used only cash to buy things, so I pulled the envelope out of my pocket, took out 2 twenties, and apparently put the envelope down instead of putting it back in my pocket. When I realized my mistake in the parking lot, I went back in the store and asked the cashier if he had seen the envelope. It was probably him who had it, because he denied seeing it and none of the following customers said a thing. Certainly someone picked it up and walked away with it. $460 in twenties and fifties. Someone had a party that night!
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Ouch, that hurts.
🥺
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That was almost a month’s wages back then. It certainly did hurt. But what’s done is done.
But this reminds me of another dumb thing from that era. The new lottery was up to about 14 or 15 million, and I made some nice money at the horse races. I spent $100 on lottery quick picks. Then I went home and to see if I had all the numbers covered. It took awhile, but I found I was missing 6 numbers. The clock said I had 10 minutes to run to the store and buy 1 more ticket, But I thought, what were the chances. I stayed home.
Later that night when the numbers were drawn — you guessed it — my 6 missing numbers were all drawn. I didnt win so much as a free ticket! $100 down the drain.
I could’a been a millionaire. But then, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. And I like who I am just fine.
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Damn. Talk about a missed opportunity…
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Biggest one of my life, monetarily speaking. But money does not impress me. In itself it is neither good nor bad. But it seems it can affect certain people in more bad ways than good. I’d rather be a poor asshole than a rich one.
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Mine was also a rolling car. Baby D was only about a month old and I’d just put him in his seat (rear-facing, in the backseat) with a pacifier and started the car. He spat out the pacifier and started yelling. I can never bear to hear babies cry, so I jumped out of the car and went to put his pacifier back in his mouth–without putting the parking break on. Car started rolling backwards out of the garage. I managed to stop the SUV from rolling (don’t ask me how, I hadn’t lifted weights in 6 months or more) before it hit the serious incline of the driveway. And this was after an emergency C-section. My sister was in the car and told me I was an idiot, which of course I already knew. It’s amazing we survived those early years of sleep-deprivation.
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Never underestimate a mother’s strength when her child is in danger.
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Similar to you but it was 2am abd trying to get up a teeny incline for a gas station when I was 100% empty. After getting my car stopped, half in/out the station entrance,noone helped me. I had to buy a can of gas to be able to pull to a pump and fill up.
I wish I had the video of me, all dresses up, trying to push my car,thdn trying to avoid getting pulled undrr the tires!
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I doubt I could have pushed it, so you’re definitely one up on me.
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I *tried* to push it. The slope was small but too much, so all the car did was roll back, pulling me down/under.
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How awful!
😳
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It sucked at the time, esp the staff refusing to help, but I was unharmed and it was quickly funny to me.
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The staff not going is the worst part.
😡
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Saw someone I thought I knew with an arm in a sling and said “What happened to you?” When she turned around, I realized I ”ve never met her before.
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An honest mistake.
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“Oh man, where to begin? I’ve got a whole encyclopedia of blunders to choose from. But if I had to pick one that really takes the cake, it’s gotta be the time I accidentally used earwax remover drops as eye drops. Talk about a wake-up call! I mean, who in their right mind would do that? Apparently, me. I can still feel the sting just thinking about it.”
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Ouch!
As blunders go, that’s more painful than most.
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Nope. Can’t top that
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Which is a good thing!
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