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Let’s talk weddings.

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My husband and I met and got married in 6 days.

We would have done it sooner, but had to wait 3 days for the license.

True story.

Really.

Our “wedding” was at a town hall, performed by a Justice of the Peace. It took place in January, in Maine, during a N’Or Easter. We had to take a boat across the bay and schlepp up a ramp and across a pier in the frigid blowing snow. If memory serves, the temperature was 2 degrees. Instead of a gown, I wore dress slacks, a cashmere sweater and fancy boots. Instead of guests, we had 3 family witnesses. There was no reception, no photographer, no band, no caterer. My guy was on leave from the Marine Corps and after the ceremony we had to jump in the car for a thousand mile trip south to get him back to base on time.

Total cost?

$35, plus tip to the JOP.

That was 41 years ago.

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A friend of mine spent over $50,000 for her elaborate destination wedding. The dress was from Paris, the flowers were flown in from a trendy designer in New York, the bridesmaid’s gifts were from Tiffany.

They were divorced 2 years later.

Make of that what you will.

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It’s about love and commitment, not what you spend.

💕

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28 thoughts on “Let’s talk weddings.”

  1. 100%. It’s just one anecdote, but a friend of mine spent an exorbitant amount on her wedding photographer and album. To be sure, it was a fantastic album, but guess how much she’s looking at that album now that she’s divorced. It’s a $20,000 doorstop. Before I met the husband, I’d read that people who go to premarital counseling are much less likely to get divorced. Ergo, I insisted we go. It was only a few sessions, but I wanted to start off in a place of strength. I’d also read that people who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce, so when he asked me to move in with him, I refused (plus, I liked having my own space). It was only when I got laid off due to budget cuts and my 20-something self had two choices to survive in job-unfriendly Montana: move back in with my parents in Wisconsin, or move in with the Boyfriend. At that point I knew he was the one, so I moved in, but I think it’s the attitude that counts (I only did it because I had to). Twenty-five years of marriage later, here we are.
    And what’s up with South Dakota on that map? We’ll have to ask Mark.

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  2. $35 is great if that works for you. For us it was a grand total of 5 grand. (As opposed to the ridiculous PA average of 33k, who are they polling to say that’s the average ?) I am alergic to flowers so my wife crochetted all of them. She got her dress at an auction for $5, the wedding/reception was at the church she went to at the time which greatly cut down on the meal costs, our cake was beautiful & tasty..it’s a damn shame that baker went out if business, our super cheap high school senior DJ royally sucked but ya get what ya pay for, tux rental total was $400 for me and my brother (we only had best man/maid of honor/ring boy in wedding party) my nephew 9 yrs old at the time carried the rings down the aisle on a turtle shaped pillow. Part of that total may have paid for our honeymoon on Lake George NY as well. 5G’s is a lot but I remember when planning (i planned as opposed to her, she didn’t want the stress, but she also had equal say) that one of the reception venues was starting at 5G’s. 🤯

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  3. It took us five years, not six days. But was destined by the fortune cookie I got just before I met her. It said “You will be married in less than a year”. She was the next person I talked to after that.

    The wedding was in one park with the reception in another (because we had a limited time on the permit for the first park). We walked from one to the other. The music was by a friend’s band and the food was a potluck.

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      1. My most notabke fortune said, “Consolidate your interests while the Lights are still active.” No marriages for me… but possibly a msg meant for a Russian spy!

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  4. Wow, we sure spend a lot on weddings in California…or perhaps it’s just the over-the-top ones from places like Beverly Hills, Marin County, and other wealthy enclaves bumping up the average price. My husband and I got married in New Hampshire, but for less than half their average wedding cost (which we still thought was a lot of money). And we paid for some bridesmaid dresses, airline tickets, his mom’s dress, etc. I guess our frugality=longevity, but you and your husband put everyone to shame!

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  5. I love big flashy weddings – I certainly didn’t have one (my husband and I spoke of our wedding rarely and always ruefully) – they are always a lot of fun – one way or the other. Oh the drama! And then there were the Italian ‘football’ weddings I attended in my youth – I doubt anyone does them anymore LOL (See Pat Cooper – Italian Wedding – every word is true!)

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  7. I got married in a rain coat on a cliff in Mendocino with only two friends in attendance. We did have to pay for a hotel room so I think we spent more than you two. I hate being the center of attention and so I could never have a big flashy wedding.

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  8. We were married by the Justice of Peace, then we returned to work. I was teaching an ESOL Adult class at the time and one of my lovely Spanish student from the Dominican Republic said: “you look really pretty today. You are all dressed up.” Before class I enjoyed a cafe con leche in Ybor City Cafe and I told the barista I was getting married after work. We thought of going to Vegas but Mike returned to work and then a few months later, we went to New Orleans for our honeymoon. We have been married 23 years! I always remember that student and every time we pass her relatives grocery story, I smile.

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  9. I love this & tend to agree. I’ve been married over 30years.. We were married at the courthouse with a few immediate family members. Reception was at my in-laws, an outdoor BBQ with family & friends, told everyone to ‘come as you are’ (don’t dress up) and it was wonderful. Cost was definitely under $500 as this was eons ago and everything was made from scratch..

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  11. Wow. I’m impressed that you got married after such a short time of knowing each other. My husband and I paid for our wedding, too. His grandfather was letting us use his Laguna Beach house for our honeymoon. We drove to Laguna, booked the location which did weddings, picked the color theme, menu, ordered flowers and were done at a grand total of $800 for a few dozen family members and friends. We will celebrate 40 years in July.

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  13. Six days. Thirty five bucks. I mean, that’s pretty incredible! I suppose when you know, you know, plus the time constraints with a Marine.

    My Aunt and Uncle met Labor Day, were engaged by Halloween and married December 30th. They’ve been married 57 years; they inspire me daily.

    Ours was pretty cheap as we paid for it all, I think it was under 7K and we fed 250 people! Not a high class affair, but a damn big party. 34 years in May.

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