Tag Archives: marriage

Worst gift I ever gave him.

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After the landing rebuild fiasco, I thought my husband was done for the day….. but then I heard the chain saw.

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And went outside to find that he had cut off the fallen section of apple tree we just had an arborist look at.

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I wanted to pay a professional to trim the trees properly and what I got was this…

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I swear how that man hasn’t killed himself is one of life’s biggest mysteries.

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I sputter at him to be more careful all the time, to no avail…. but I figure I might as well video his escapades in case the life insurance company needs documentation for my claim.

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The afternoon was spent cleaning up the mess.

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And our poor tree did not look happy.

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But at least there’s a nice wheelbarrow full of applewood….

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I informed you thusly.

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My husband doesn’t like it when I say I told you so. And oddly enough he doesn’t like it when I roll my eyes at him either. So from now on I shall be channeling Sheldon Cooper and saying “I informed you thusly.”

I uttered this phrase repeatedly yesterday when I walked out to the barn after a rain storm and saw this:

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In case you aren’t aware, apple trees limbs are not supposed to be lying on the ground.

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When we moved to this house 20 years ago, there were two gorgeous mature apple trees in the backyard.

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I put furniture under them, kept trimming the lower branches and spent long lazy summer afternoons reading in the shade. Then, out of nowhere… the husband decided I was hurting the trees and refused to let me prune them. I fought against this ruling for a few years and then gave up. This was the result:

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Every year the trees were so laden with fruit they hung to the ground. It drove me crazy but the husband wouldn’t let me near them with shears. I kept telling him he would regret it, but he wouldn’t listen.

So naturally, this happened:

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A major branch, basically half the Granny Smith tree… cracked and split off.

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I contacted a licensed arborist and he’ll be here in a few days to give us an estimate for structural pruning to save the trees from further destruction.

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And after we’ve paid a small fortune to someone we didn’t really have to?

I shall inform him thusly one more time.

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Holiday weekends rock.

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But at our house, not in the way you might think.

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This is one of our stone walls. It’s the smallest and has been falling in on itself for years.

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Mainly because when my husband built it 19 years ago, he didn’t listen to me and dug it level to the higher edge of lawn.

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You can’t tell but there’s over a two foot difference in height there.

Anyway… on July 2nd, the start of the holiday weekend, I came home from the grocery store and found this.

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Because the husband decided July 4th was the perfect time to redo the corner of the wall where stones were starting to slip into the ditch. He enlisted a friend, dug a trench and figured this jerry rigged engineering marvel would work.

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A slab of untreated wood, a line of black stakes and yes, God help me… roofing shingles to hold back the dirt. Not what I would call aesthetically pleasing.

There was a discussion. Followed by a heated debate. Which turned into the beginning of an argument. I offered multiple solutions and they did not go over well. Naturally the husband wanted to do as little lifting as possible because, you know… rocks = heavy. But if you’re going to rebuild a wall? You can’t just do one section, and after some (not so) gentle persuading, he finally saw it my way. Since the slipping stones were his main concern I conceded defeat on that point and we eliminated the corner.

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Filling it in with dirt which we will then seed or sod.

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And then the real work began.

If you’ve never built a rock wall? (And I mean a real New England cement free rock wall, with rocks of all different shapes and sizes and weights… not the nice flat ones you buy at a landscapers) Trust me, it’s work!

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Which is undoubtedly why my husband only wanted to do a corner.

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Silly man, he really should have known better.

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Day one? It went something like this:

Move rocks, install barrier, argue with wife, remove barrier, curse wife under your breath, fill hole with dirt, move rocks, curse wife again, start rebuilding entire wall when all you wanted to do was one corner, move rocks, curse wife under breath one more time because you can and she’s too far away to hear you.

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To be continued….

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A new toy.

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The husband came home with a new toy last weekend.

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And before I knew it or could grab a good before picture…

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He’d trimmed an unruly hedge.

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And moved on to the next.

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These bushes can get out of hand quickly, and I trim them every fall. The husband always gave me Hell for bringing the trimmer in the office and cutting from an open window, but it was the only way I could reach. He ranted about how dangerous it was, how much of a mess it made…. and for years on end told me it wasn’t necessary.

You know where I’m going with this right?

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Yes.

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Once again I was proved right.

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And trimming through the open office window commenced.

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But the shrubbery was nicely shaped so I didn’t rub it in.

Well, not much.

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Well, he tried.

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Last weekend my husband installed the downspout on our new back deck guttering.

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For some reason (Far be it for me to question his process. But I did… and was told to go back in the house) he decided to reroute the water’s path and secured the spout to the side of the corner post instead of the front.

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He was proud of how it turned out.

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And while it passed the water test as far as leaks go…

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With liquid gushing out the end freely….

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I did take issue with the placement.

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Because, call me crazy….

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But unless the rain is going to hook a 90 degree turn and drain into the pipe as it’s supposed to…. we’re going to have a mess.

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Of gutters and baby woodchucks.

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Last weekend I was reading on the barn porch, enjoying the view of the neighbor’s farm…

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And of our other neighbor walking by….

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When suddenly my view changed.

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Because the husband decided it was time ( after I bugged him for 7… Yes, 7 years. ) to put up a gutter.

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I’ll spare you the four hour nightmare of angles, cutting, bracketing, ladder placement and yes a good bit of cursing as well…

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And get right to the cute stuff.

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A baby woodchuck.

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Make that two baby woodchucks. It’s summer and the little scampers are peaking out from under the barn. Totally adorable. And much more fun to watch than this…

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Especially since the gutter leaked like Hell the first time it rained.

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It’s like they built this store just for me.

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Sometimes Facebook gets it right.

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Like this store… that seems to be targeted to my sense of humor.

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Not always, but maybe. Alright… more than likely it is.

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Sounds like something I would do.

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I have an abundant supply, no problem.

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I’m definitely not. Remind me to tell you the story about my husband’s friend who called him at work to tell him to ‘get his wife under control’. Ha! As if.

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That’s me.

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Someday I’m going to have to buy one of these. It’s my favorite tag line and I’ve been searching for cocktail napkins with that phrase ever since we built the man cave bar…. to no avail.

😰

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And the work continued….

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Day two of roof repair was not without its pitfalls.

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And Lord Dudley Mountcatten kept a close eye on the progress.

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Yes that’s a giant copper and silver cicada on my coffee table. You mean you don’t have one…? How strange.

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The weather that morning was awful.

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Rain, wind and colder than average temps. Work didn’t even start until 10:00am.

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At times it seemed like the black clouds were aiming right for them.

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But progress was made in between the showers and I was glad to see the gap in the problem corner was tightly covered with ice and water shield. A gerry rigged solution to be sure, but an improvement none the less. Had this been done the day before (as I requested, repeatedly) our ceiling wouldn’t look like this:

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But I’m just a woman. What do I know?

😡

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But what do I know?

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I don’t claim to know everything, but I do know if you’re going to strip a roof for repairs during a weekend when rain is predicted? You postpone or make damn sure you cover that sucker completely.

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My husband on the other hand, likes to gamble.

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And as you can see by what I woke up to Saturday morning…

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He lost. ( Unplug the tv and move the table? Why… when you can just cover it with trash bags? It’s times like these I question my love for that man.)

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And while I would normally enjoy a good I told you so and being right….

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The utter disaster that is our ceiling took the joy right out of it.

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