Tag Archives: marriage

Cape Cod Day 8…. turkeys, traffic and booze. The way most of our vacations end.

 

Day 8 dawned bright and sunny and it was time to pack up and head for home. Of course packing means different things to men and women. It takes me considerable time…. seeing that I actually unpack my suitcases and put things away.

Remember? Me unpacked…

 

IMG_9418

 

Husband’s idea of unpacked…

 

IMG_9435

 

Men.

You really are a separate species.

 

IMG_9421

 

The local turkey brigade came to wish us farewell.

 

IMG_9422

 

And soon we were crossing the famous Sagamore Bridge and leaving Cape Cod.

 

IMG_9735

 

It was a wonderful trip, and we enjoyed every minute of it. So much to see and do…. I’m sure we’ll go back someday.

Next step?

 

IMG_9741

 

Boston.

 

IMG_9738

 

And it’s horrible, absolutely inescapable, bumper to bumper traffic. If you can avoid it?

By all means, do so.

Cruising into New Hampshire on I-95 means one thing. The New Hampshire State Liquor store…. no tax!

 

IMG_9744

 

If we drive to our vacation? We stop here on the way back…. you almost have to. It’s like a rite of passage for New Englanders.

Snow.

Lobster.

And tax free booze.

What’s not to love?

 

IMG_9769

 

My haul this time included a few Game of Thrones inspired Johnnie Walker Christmas presents.

Ho, Ho, Ho!

And here’s a bone I’ll throw to all my food lovers.

Lunch.

 

IMG_9749

 

At a riverside restaurant.

 

IMG_9746

 

With an amazing beer selection.

 

IMG_9747

 

And a list that went on and on and on…

 

IMG_9748

 

To heck with the food…

 

IMG_9753

 

I could just happily sit there and drink all day.

 

IMG_9750

 

But yes, food.

 

IMG_9751

 

Homemade chicken tenders and side salad for the husband.

 

IMG_9752

 

And a massive portion of Truffle fries to accompany my chicken Caesar salad wrap.

So there you have it, the November Cape Cod trip.

The end.

Finito.

Done!

 

 

While I realize it took me until January 20th to finish this series, as I sit here typing this… I still have over 2 weeks worth of Williamsburg, Virginia Christmas vacation photos to sort through and post. So don’t be surprised if you’re seeing Santa and his reindeer right through April….

You’ve been warned.

 

that-would-be-great-kill-me-meme

Cape Cod trip, Day 1. Boston traffic, the resort and yes, food. (for those of you who keep screaming for food pics)

 

No trip south of Maine can escape Boston traffic… and in a word?

 

 

Okay, technically that’s 2 words.

 

IMG_8391

 

But it still sucks.

 

IMG_8387

 

The Tobin Bridge is attractive…

 

IMG_8388

 

But directly after that is the Callahan Tunnel, which is not.

Of course my aversion to it may have something to do with the fact that we’re always bumper to bumper in the dark and instead of the posted 40 mph speed limit? The husband is flying through at 80 while darting in and out of traffic trying to get 3 inches ahead of the next car. Driving is a competition dontcha know…

Blah, blah, blah.

Safe trip…. hello Cape Cod!

We stayed at the Sea Mist Resort in Mashpee, Massachusetts which is considered the Upper Cape.

 

mashpee

 

And it was a good base from which we could explore.

Quiet, wooded and off season? It was practically deserted, which is how we like it.

 

IMG_8423a

 

We had a one bedroom townhouse with two bathrooms and a cathedral ceiling.

 

IMG_8393

 

A nice full kitchen with granite countertops and wood floors.

 

IMG_8395

 

It was clean, and spacious…

 

IMG_8398

 

Although when it came to the living room furniture and color scheme?

 

 

Yes, it was bland.

 

IMG_8407

 

But hell… clean, quiet and spacious trumps ugly any day.

 

IMG_8396

 

Did I mention there were 2 full bathrooms? That’s unusual in a one bedroom timeshare condo and I took full advantage…. giving the husband this smaller one.

 

IMG_8405

 

It was a little odd having a window in the bedroom that looked out on the living room….

 

IMG_8406

 

But it made for a nice little reading nook when the husband was knee deep in MSNBC every night.

 

IMG_9417

 

The bedroom was a good size with a super comfortable, although not king sized, bed.

 

IMG_8403

 

It also had a full length mirror which earns it an extra star in my book as none of them ever do.

After unpacking,  (which looks like this for me…

 

IMG_9418

 

And this for him…

 

IMG_9435

 

(Men. How is it possible we’re the same species?) We headed out for a late lunch/early dinner.

 

IMG_8417

 

Mashpee Commons was nearby and one of the largest shopping centers on the Cape. While attractive and filled with interesting stores and restaurants, it was also a nightmare when it came to parking. We circled and circled… and circled some more until we squeezed into a tiny spot. Christ! It was the dead season of November, I can’t imagine what it would be like in the summer.

 

IMG_8411

 

We landed at Bobby Byrne’s pub…

 

IMG_8412

 

Where I got in the Cape Cod spirit with a cranberry and grapefruit cocktail. (Or two)

When you’re in the Cape, it’s all about the cranberry.

 

IMG_8410

 

I wanted the huge gigantic pretzel, because seriously… it was huge.

But went with the grilled chicken quesadillas and sriracha crema instead.

 

IMG_8413

 

Damn! They were good.

Husband had his usual French Onion soup which I swear… contained at least a pound of cheese.

 

IMG_8414

 

Then we shared a chicken broccoli alfredo.

 

IMG_8415

 

Which was delightfully rich and garlicky.

Did I mention the beer was extremely cold?

 

IMG_8416

 

Literally, ice cold.

(Are you food picture screamers satisfied? Day 1 and you got multiple food photos. You’re welcome… now be quiet.)

Bellies full, we grocery shopped to stock the kitchen…. and then called it a night.

One more picture…

 

IMG_8420

 

Because skylights in the living room require an after dark selfie….

 

 

 

A bridge too far.

 

It’s bad enough my husband stops at every yard sale he sees.

 

57c5bda2c0c30

 

It’s bad enough he comes home from the dump with more than he went with.

It’s bad enough he built a giant barn and filled it with useless stuff before it was completed.

 

better-not-throw-that-away-hoarding-memes

 

But what happened the other day?

Is a bridge too far.

We woke up, had a lovely breakfast, went outside and saw something on the barn porch. I didn’t think it was a good something…

But the husband dragged it inside before it could run away.

 

IMG_8364

 

Yeah.

 

IMG_8363

 

Someone left an old sewing machine.

 

IMG_8362

 

Complete with original boxes of accessories….

 

IMG_8359

 

And owners manual… with free mouse turd. Ack!

We have no idea who committed this heinous crime…. but when I find out?

They will feel my wrath.

 

 

The husband needs no help finding old worthless junk!

So please… I beg you.

Bypass our porch and take your crap to the dump next time!

(Though not the one in our town, or any neighboring towns where he’s apt to shop.)

 

 

 

 

Diana’s Baths Part 4…. in which the husband builds a cairn.

 

IMG_7950

 

At the top of Diana’s Baths we found a cairn garden.

 

 

Cairns…

 

IMG_7952

 

Everywhere you looked.

 

IMG_7957

 

Small cairns, big cairns.

 

IMG_7970

 

Precariously balanced cairns…

 

IMG_7983

 

Even one slightly Zen cairn…

 

IMG_7972

 

Although technically not, as it’s singular.

 

IMG_2705

 

But I liked it all the same.

Cairn:

Diana’s Baths Part 2.

 

IMG_7866

 

What?

 

IMG_7867

 

You thought we were done with the rocks?

 

IMG_7855

 

Uh, no.

 

525486a49f55c

 

There were stacked rocks…

Rocks with roots…

 

IMG_7857

 

Rocks with husbands…

 

IMG_7858

 

Videos of rocks…

 

 

 

And rocks with bloggers taking selfies.

 

IMG_7845

 

Baby got rocks!

 

IMG_7868

 

There were big rocks.

 

IMG_7876

 

Rocks with water.

 

IMG_7872

 

And rocks with husbands who had to climb on the opposite side from their wives because they thought it was a better path….

 

IMG_7884

 

Then couldn’t figure out how to get back across…

 

IMG_7886

 

And had to turn around and go back the way the wife did.

 

IMG_7891

 

I love those kinds of rocks.

 

 

And no matter how high we climbed?

 

 

 

There were always more rocks!

Because I’m always looking out for my male friends.

 

So a certain blogger (who shall remain nameless unless he/she actually wants to take credit for this post) sent me a link to a product that I found the day after Thanksgiving.

Having just enjoyed copious amounts of turkey, I admit it made me think twice about ever eating one again.  It seems we never really know what those birds are up to pre gluttonous feast.

This post will pass along further information for what I think is probably the best Christmas stocking stuffer ever.

For your husband, your brother, your uncle, your cousin…. Hell, for every man in your life.

Give them to your mailman and the guy who changes your oil.

You can thank me later.

Snowballs

If you clicked the link, you’ll realize I wasn’t talking about those delightfully revolting pink Hostess treats that look like Tribbles.

It’s another thing entirely.

 

ac5ea267f4b15d35ce402e36cb269d8f

 

No, I’m not kidding…

And some of the descriptions are funnier than the product itself.

“Summer is a decidedly, uh, swampy time for many men and the summer of 2019 has been especially hot and humid throughout most of the northern hemisphere. Dress loose and in light fabrics all you want, eventually the heat hits you in the crotch.

It’s a uniquely male problem and one underwear company has the solution to that and more. Snowballs basically wants to ice your ‘nads back into the comfort—and fertility—zone.

Being able to walk around with your ‘nads air-conditioned without risking indecent exposure is pretty appealing. And Snowballs claims their product can do more than just frost the funk away from your nether regions.”

 

Swampy?

 

 

 

Yeah, no one wants that.

 

“From setting sprays to chafing balm, ladies have a few tricks up their sleeves when it comes to handling the heatwave.

But now men have found something to help them out on scorching hot days — freezable pants.

Over on Amazon, a brand called Snowballs Underwear is selling “scientifically-backed cooling underwear”.

The underwear comes with ice packs — dubbed “SnowWedges” — that men are able to put in the freezer before popping into a pouch that sits over the groin.”

 

And before you decide the whole thing is just a joke, here’s a video to prove icing your  balls, sack, nuts, jewels, sweetbreads, Christ…what term won’t get me kicked off WordPress?   parts has actual medical benefits.

 

 

 

 

 

There.

Now don’t you feel better knowing these exist?

 

 

 

 

 

Just remember…

You saw it here first.

 

 

Oh, good grief.

 

Try as I might to avoid it, sometimes I have to go upstairs in our barn.

This usually forces me to emit a heavy sigh over the husband’s new acquisitions.

You know,  the ones he snuck in there without me noticing.

 

IMG_5945

 

While I was pleasantly surprised to see he’d done a little organizing (read – shoved everything to the sides) and the floor was visible this time….

 

IMG_5944

 

And also delighted to see a small section of crap had been put on a shelf.

A shelf!

 

 

(What? You don’t collect dusty old water stained cardboard boxes half full of rusty rivets and tacks…

Why ever not?)

A groan did escape me when I saw more bed frames….

 

IMG_5942

 

And old rusty pesticide sprayers…

 

IMG_5943

 

As well as whatever the hell this is in front of the vintage cabbage slicers.

 

IMG_5946

 

I’m thinking I should make him use that in the baby barn to level out the dirt floor.

You know, as penance for bringing the damn thing home in the first place.

 

 

I  wish I knew.

And if you’re thinking to yourself, geesh River, that didn’t look so bad…. let me point your eye downstairs where it looks like this:

 

IMG_9780

 

And this:

 

IMG_9781

 

And this:

 

IMG_9778

 

Enough said.