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I used to be healthy. Annoyingly so.

I was the child who never caught chicken pox, measles or mumps.

The teenager who never had acne, a cavity or broken bones.

The young adult who still had her tonsils, appendix and wisdom teeth.

The middle aged woman who’d never had the flu, a migraine or been in the hospital.

I made it to 49 without diabetes, high cholesterol or literally any health issues whatsoever.

Then I turned 50… and the downward spiral began.

I blew out my knee, and arthritis set in. I caught chicken pox because my husband had shingles. (It’s not fun at an advanced age. Neither is it pretty.)

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That’s not acne, it’s pox. 🥴

Bunions started to form on both my feet making pretty shoes painful and virtually impossible to wear. I had a full hysterectomy which wrecked my body in too many ways to list. My fifties were not kind. And now that I’ve entered the next decade? I barely recognize the perky, energetic, up for anything person I used to be.

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I’m currently 5 for 10 on this list.

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I sailed past #1, 2 and 3 as I always have my phone, don’t bruise easily and my memory is still intact.

4. Yes, damn it. I’m there.

5. I’ve got cheater reading glasses in every room, my purse, my car and 3 in the kitchen. No trouble finding a pair for this chick.

6. Show up at my house unexpectedly? Please leave your copy of Vogue at the door.

7. 9:30? I’m in bed by then, better make it 8:00.

8. People do still say those words in my universe… and for that, I’m thankful.

9. I’ve woken up with a stiff neck, sciatic pain and a knee so locked I have to tumble out of bed. When the mere act of sleeping causes injury? You know you’re over the hill.

10. After hormonal shifts from menopause and a dramatic weight gain the likes of which I’d never previously experienced? There are no scales in our house.

For those of my readers who qualify, how many of these 10 apply to your life?

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