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Now they’re just screwing with me.

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I live in Maine, land of the lobster I can no longer eat.

 

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It’s a cruel twist of fate which came about 7 years ago. I’d eaten that glorious, butter dripping crustacean all my life and loved every scrumptious bite…. until my traitorous body woke up one day and said no more.

No more lobster chowder, no more lobster rolls, no more lobster pie…. hell they hadn’t even invented lobster mac and cheese yet so I missed that too, damn it!  (I’ll spare you the details of what happens if I eat it now, just think Linda Blair in the Exorcist and leave it at that.)

It’s not easy being lobster allergic in Maine, the damned things are everywhere.

On our license plates…

 

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At every biker rally we attend…

 

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See?

 

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That’s me… cursing everyone for eating  lobster when I can’t …. not sitting at the table.

Hell, we even have a festival devoted to the creature.

 

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They crown a queen who leads the parade with King Neptune.

 

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Everyone eats lobster.

Except me.

 

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(I can’t attend anymore. The husband says drool isn’t my best feature)

Yes, we take our lobster seriously up here and I’ve  railed against fate, banged my head against the wall, invented new swear words   learned to live without it.

So why?

Why does that damned bottom dwelling bug continue to screw with me?

Yesterday… this showed up in our local grocery stores.

 

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And if that’s not bad enough…

A friend sent me this card.

 

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Now that’s just…  wrong.

 

 

22 thoughts on “Now they’re just screwing with me.”

  2. Being allergic to lobster would be tough . . . especially where you live. Dairy does the same thing to me BUT I can take a dairy relief pill and avoid all the unpleasantness of having my cheese and eating it too.

    Too bad you can’t take a “crustacean relief pill” whenever you wish to indulge.

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  3. I feel for you. After getting religion, eating shellfish became a bigger sin than fornication and envy. So I sinned, of course. Can’t tell me what to do.
    I broke out in quarter sized hives from head to toe. Never had problems before …

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  4. I haven’t had lobster in years and years, and I love it. But here in Western New York, it’s just too expensive to justify ordering it at a restaurant, and I’m not skilled enough to cook it at home (not that I could afford that, either). Having a good lobster dinner is on my bucket list; maybe my kids will buy me one. If they all chip in, maybe they could afford it. Bummer that you live where it’s common and affordable, and can’t eat it. Such is fickle fate.

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  5. Ah but can the lobster eat you????
    I know this is sacrilegious but after working a few years at The Four Seasons in NYC where I had to shell the lobsters for my customers (why eat a lobster if you don’t want to have the fun–and drippings of a lobster all over you) I haven’t had a lobster since!

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  7. Ugh! That would be awful! I grew up on the Texas/Mexico border, so for me it would be like developing an allergy to tacos. I would probably kill myself eating one last batch!

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  8. I love the card. Yes, it is so wrong, but finally, the lobsters have their revenge — however short — and sweet, and succulent. Damn. Lobster sounds delicious right now. Can’t you keep an Eppie pen with you? That’s what they’re for, aren’t they? Also, I hate to admit it, but when I go into a Red Lobster (I’m in Texas), I have to fight the urge to free the lobsters in the tank. I’ve never understood why they put them there when people first walk in. It would be like taking the customer out into the field behind a steakhouse and asking “And which cow would you like me to butcher for your dining pleasure this evening?” Nope, I refuse to pick out the living creature I’m going to eat at a restaurant. I can’t do it as hypocritical as that makes me.
    Mona

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  9. I’ve never had a lobster. I had bad food poisoning once with seafood so put me off for life. Its a shame when you enjoy eating something and you cant anymore. The photographs of your town by the sea look gorgeous . I suppose living in such a beautiful place makes up for it though 😊

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    1. My reaction to lobster is very similar to a bad case of food poisoning. Not pretty!
      And yes, Maine is a beautiful place to live. I enjoy everything about it… except the constant lobster teasing!

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