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My husband is a pretty tough guy. A career Marine. A Vietnam veteran. A man who calmly wades in when everyone else is running out. A straight shooter who sees the world in black and white. He’s not an anxious or nervous person. Nothing rattles him and I can honestly say in the almost 40 years we’ve been married, I’ve only ever seen him scared once.

Until yesterday, when I saw it again.

We received a call last week asking if we wanted to take a cancellation appointment that became available for his cataract surgery. It was originally slated for December 6th, so the husband jumped at the chance to have it done sooner.

We arrived early, and the prep began. This involved endless eye drops for dilation and numbing and some very sexy head gear.

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As I stated earlier, I hope I’m never in this position. I’m eye squeamish and the mere thought of anyone getting near mine would make me bolt for the door. But my husband seemed fine… until the nurses started explaining exactly what would be transpiring in the operating room.

Was he nervous about them cutting into his eyeball? No.

But when they told him his arms would be tightly wrapped by his side and his head securely strapped down … his feet started to twitch. When they said a tent would be placed over his face and he wouldn’t be able to see anything… his blood pressure started climbing.

Scalpel to the eye? No problem.

Being restrained and not in control? Big problem.

The anesthesiologist arrived and spoke with him about the 3 sedation levels available. None, which is what he wanted. Light, and IV pushed. Seeing that his anxiety level was rising she suggested the IV.

My husband hates drugs and has never taken them. The feeling of losing control is anathema to him. But the longer he sat there thinking about it, the higher his blood pressure went and the nurses all agreed sedation would be necessary.

They gave him an IV and some type of relaxing anti anxiety drug. A sweet nurse held his hand and talked soothingly… but the minute the drug hit his system? He tried to fight it and was not a happy camper. Three nurses and the anesthesiologist tried to get him to relax, breathe deeply and let it calm him nerves… but my husband being my husband wasn’t having it. Under sedation his blood pressure rose to 179/115.

They kept asking if he was okay to proceed and he kept saying yes so they wheeled him off to surgery.

Only to return 10 minutes later saying it wasn’t going to happen.

Apparently when they got him strapped down and swaddled, no amount of drugs were enough to calm his anxiety and his doctor refused to go ahead with the surgery fearing my husband would move when he was supposed to remain perfectly still.

Back in the prep room… unwrapped , unstrapped and back in control… his blood pressure dropped to 124/75. He was embarrassed. Ashamed. And kept apologizing. The staff assured him that it happens all the time and not to be sorry. Everyone has their limits and he’d just found his.

The next step will be scheduling a hospital cataract removal where they put you completely under. No anxiety, no stress… just go to sleep and wake up to it being done.

Knocking me out would be the only way they’d ever get close to my eyes so it sounds like the perfect solution to me.

😊

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