.

It seems that I, the annoying person who posts too much your favorite blogger, has finally run afoul of the law. Yes, ladies and gentlemen… the authorities may soon be kicking in the door to Casa River and hauling her prolific ass away.

.

.

What was my crime you ask? Apparently it’s blogging, and I currently have two outstanding warrants.

The first came in the form of a cease and desist email. And when I saw the reason, I had to laugh at the lengths our resident red rodent bitch would go to for revenge.

.

.

Yes, the owner of the red squirrel calendar whose photos I’ve been featuring on the first of every month has made it clear I am in violation of reproducing her material without permission. How did she find my piddling inconsequential little blog in the vastness of the World Wide Web? There’s only one answer.

She was tipped off. Damn that varmint!

.

.

My second offense was posting about that awful jewelry made from dead relative’s teeth last November. I’m not sure who spilled the proverbial beans on this one, but the creator of those hideously macabre pieces sent a message saying I had 30 days to remove the post or I would be sued for copyright infringement.

To this I have to say…

.

.

In my defense on count 1:

I bought the friggin’ squirrel calendar. Paid good money for it and hung it on my kitchen wall. If anything, I would think me blogging about it every month would drum up interest and spread the word for future sales, but no. The photographer was pissed… so there will be no more first of the month red squirrels.

.

.

Sorry. Take it up with my lawyer.

Regarding the second count:

The story and photos of the uber creepy jewelry made from our dearly departed’s teeth were taken from an article on Facebook. I figured if the pictures had been floating around that platform grossing people out, why not this one? To be honest… I think if I had raved about how beautiful they were she would have been fine with it. But I was told in no certain terms I would be sued unless I removed my post. So remove it I did. Bye bye great grandmother’s incisor necklace, can’t say I’ll miss you.

.

.

So there you have it. If I should suddenly disappear from the blogosphere? You’ll know I’ve been railroaded and am residing in the cross bar hotel. Please be a pal and post my bail so I can continue to bring you the mindless drivel quality content you’ve come to know and love.

.