According to my stats I’m on a path to having the highest monthly views since I got here four years ago.
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Granted I’ve been blogging about fascinating topics in January like the junk in our basement, crab balls and masturbating walruses… but still. The spike in readers seems a bit extreme.
And because I was curious which posts were popular, I checked.
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Turns out they all were.
But only once.
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I’m sure it’s just spammers, but most of the views are from the U.S., not India or Pakistan…. so it makes me wonder which one of you could be stalking my blog and searching my archives for pearls of wisdom like ‘Of Slime and Flies’?
Fess up. There’s no shame in the admission, we all need a hobby.
After chatting with a blog friend about Amazon recommendations, I decided take a peak at what Jeff Bezos thinks I should buy. And after seeing his choices…. I realized they’re not based on my buying history with the company, but drawn from my crazy and sometimes off color blog topics.
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I can guarantee you I’ve never purchased any squirrel paraphernalia. Unicorn related or otherwise.
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And clearly no good can come from posting about poop.
Does Amazon really want me to buy a turd?
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A massage gun with extra batteries? I don’t even want to know where they got that idea..
A pink flamingo Christmas tree for Mark. The ultimate in flocking.
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This sounds entirely too easy. Has anyone ever tried it?
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Another Spam abomination for my taste bud addled blog friend.
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Porktastic? I beg to differ.
Meanwhile back at the ranch..
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The good news? Lord Dudley Mountcatten has not knocked down the tree.
The bad news? My husband broke the we don’t need any more stuff so let’s not exchange gifts paradigm we’ve been clinging to for the past 6 years and put something big under the tree. Since my beloved has two gift giving modes… expensive jewelry I rarely like and wish he wouldn’t buy or appliances I neither want nor need… I’m going to guess the latter.
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I’ve been married 38 years and no matter how many times I tell my husband appliances are not a welcome Christmas gift, to date I’ve received an upright freezer, a toaster, a washer and dryer, a blender, a convection oven and oh yes, let’s not forget that ever so thoughtful dehumidifier.
I have yet to receive a vacuum, but there’s always next year.
I know I just got through blogging about our trip to the White Mountains of New Hampshire, but guess what? In the time it took me to do that… we took another trip to Vermont. And knowing the kind of detail I like to post about our trips, this series will probably last until Christmas.
So here we go, back to Northwestern Vermont…. where I found this helpful information shortly after crossing the border.
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COW!
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I’ve never swum with a cow, but now I kind of want to.
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Back in Jeffersonville, these wonderful silos greeted us.
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In Stowe? It was a truckload full of cuteness.
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Heading through Smugglers Notch in late October after all the foliage had fallen wasn’t as pretty…
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But following this truck and trailer around the tight bends was interesting.
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Vermont, where red barns….
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Windmills…
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And corn are plentiful.
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But mummified Halloween bears are a little harder to find.
Have you ever checked the search terms on your blog?
I never really thought about how people found my site, just figured they were like minded weirdos who liked rocks and woodchucks…. but then I read a friend’s post and realized Google could have directed readers searching for specific things to my little corner of the virtual hemisphere.
The results?
More than a little disturbing.
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I admit I did write a blog about ukuleles a while back, but I promise you…. pictures of young girls doing it doggy style have never appeared on this page.
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Likewise for that abomination! And while I was seriously tempted to Google it myself for the purposes of adding a comical image, that’s an algorithm I can most assuredly do without.
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I did post ad nauseam about our trip to Sedona, though to be honest I don’t remember meeting any snake men uptown.
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I have no explanation for dong diet whatsoever, though it was directly followed by ‘I really shouldn’t’ so that may be all the explanation you need.
I blog from my phone most of the time. It’s quick, easy and always seems to be nearby. But when I updated my operating system and my apps the other day WordPress threw me a curve. I can no longer click on commenter’s avatars and find their blogs from my friend’s pages which is pretty annoying. It’s always been a good way to read and meet new people and I feel like WordPress just slammed a door in my face.
Aside from that, this is what I see when someone comments on my posts:
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In the current climate of internet privacy run amok… do I really need to have access to everyone’s email and IP address? No. I do not.
(Apologies to Kenny, but I didn’t think he’d mind be made an example of.)
Anyone else experiencing this?
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Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.