This is a general heads up to my friends and followers –
In case I fall off the grid without warning.
It seems I’m a wanted woman, and may have to go on the lamb very soon.
(That’s me trying to figure out how to kick the silly creature into gear)
The reason?
I’ve been receiving some strange phone calls and may have to plan accordingly.
I have no idea what grievous crime I’ve committed….
Do the mattress people know I removed their tag?
Did the grocery store manager see me eat a grape?
But clearly things are about to get real.
And if the message wasn’t bad enough…. this call came in yesterday.
Time may be running out.
(For you youngins… Attica prison?
The riot in 1971?
It was awful, 43 people died. Read your history!)
So please, if you’re questioned… don’t tell them I ate the grape.
And wish me luck as I make my escape.
I’ve never been much of a runner.
River's world..... 
Justice is served,finally. You thought you were home free.
The LAM campaign for revenge is just starting.
Lobsters against murderers.
Be afraid…
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Now wait just a minute. I’m allergic to lobster and haven’t boiled one alive in years…. I don’t even watch people eat them! Our house is a lobster free zone, they have nothing to fear from me. Spread the word.
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You can’t erase the kind of the past…
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But I’m reformed. I’ve seen the light. I’m on their side, damn it!
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Did you forget and wear white shoes after Labor Day? You know some of those O.G. Fashion Police are hard-core about that sort of thing!
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Omg…. I have a little pair of white sneakers. But, no. They’re in the back of the closet. Whew.
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You’ll just have to own up to what you did….
So what is missing out of the Barn……? hmmmmmm?????
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Nah. It can’t be that. I’ve been discreetly redirecting Fred’s treasure for years…..
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YOU’VE BEEN FOUND OUT!! ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnn while you can!!
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I don’t run. Perhaps a brisk walk?
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*facepalms*
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This certainly sounds like a coverup as if you don’t want Fred to know that you are running away with your boy toy for a weekend–or, maybe, even worse, your chicken toy!! (Where this came from I have no idea!! Might be because I anm up at 9:30 AM–way too early for my brain–and yes, I have one!
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If only it were that simple. Maybe that rat fink Nigerian Prince/money manager turned me into the IRS!
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Be very very scared . . . there are FOUR charges that are going to be PRESSED against you!
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I know! I’m done for….
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At least you know it’s not the “grammar” cops coming for you. 😯
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I’ve kept those Nazis at bay for years… spellcheck is my friend.
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We have a very low tolerance for people who eat a grape before buying the cluster here. But I understand yankees are very soft on grape snackers. Pray for a jury of peers …
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Yankess are grape pilferers at heart. Maybe I have a chance….
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You can run, but you can’t hide. At least you haven’t received a death threat, like I did: https://cordeliasmomstill.com/2016/02/02/spam-bam-thank-you-maam-february-2016/
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Omg. I’m sorry, but that was a riot! I mean, I sincerely hopes no one wants to kill you….. but damn. That was some mighty fine reading.
🤣
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I never got a second letter, and no one showed up at my house. Too bad, in a way – I could have used the post idea!
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The way it’s worded…with the bad grammar… just cracks me up!
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LOL! 😀
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Come to Oklahoma! Nobody will want to come here to look for you. Plus, there’s not a lobster in sight! 🙂
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Oklahoma? Yeah…. I’m going to need better reasons than that!
😈
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OMG! Hysterical!
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And true.
I really do look like that when I run….
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