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How much does my husband hate retirement? This much…

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I’ve blogged about my husband’s battle with retirement. About his need to still feel productive and his complete inability to relax and enjoy some well deserved leisure time.

I’ve blogged about him retiring in December of 2022 only to return to work in August of 2023.

I’ve blogged about him retiring again in February of 2024 because the gov’t treated him like a new hire and forced him to retake 8 months of training even though he worked there for 22 years and could teach the classes himself.

So…

We’re barely three months into retirement part two and if you think he’s been able to sit back and relax any better this time around you’d be dead wrong.

Because this week found him here…

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On a roof that’s not ours, replacing siding and fixing window leaks.

Working with the contractor we hired to work for us.

Did I mention my husband is 77 years old?

This is not how I pictured retirement.

😖

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53 thoughts on “How much does my husband hate retirement? This much…”

  2. You know what, if he can do it SAFELY where’s the harm? It’s his retirement, as long as it doesn’t take anything away from your retirement. Yes, it would worry me but then I would worry if the person doing that was 27…And just think – doesn’t this qualify you for some future free reno/repair work from the contractor?

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    1. I do worry about his health. He’s not a young man, though he thinks he is.
      And it most definitely takes away from our leisure hours we were supposed to spend traveling.
      As for free work, no. As the contractor is paying my husband by the hour.

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      1. Traveling is definitely the place to lay down the law. He’s working for fun, basically, and nobody’s going to fire him for taking a week or two off to spend time with his blushing bride (Are you blushing?). He’s probably the most reliable guy on the crew.
        I’m betting you already do all the vacation planning, so plan one that you want and notify him of the plans once they are made. If you get a load of “I can’t go, they need me!”, here’s a quote from Charles DeGaulle to put things in perspective: “The graveyards are filled with indispensable men.”
        I know, if you multiplied the adjusted value of my two cents by a thousand they still wouldn’t be worth anything, but my worthless gift still comes from the heart.

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      2. The crew? He IS the crew. There’s no one else as our contractor is just starting his business. The problem is he really likes the guy and enjoys the chatting.

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  5. You could slways join him up there. Give him some bullshit story of wanting to be with him. He will tell you to go away, it’s dangerous up there. Then you get your chance to speak your mind.

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  6. I rehabbed a lot of guys who hadn’t learned a basic lesson. It goes like this: when we’re little, there are a lot of things we can’t do because we’re not old enough yet. We have parents to tell us not to. No one thinks about the other end of that – when you’re too old to do it. We don’t have parents to tell us not to, so we have to know when that time comes ourselves.

    I took care of more guys than I can count who fell off of ladders or roofs. Ribs break easily when you’re past 70. When they puncture lungs, it’s no fun. When you’re in the hospital it’s a little late for making the decision. Everything (including brain) heals more slowly after 70. I no longer go on the roof. I move the ladder rather than reach outside my base of support. A lot of guys who learned that when they were young get lazy when they’re old and reach just a little too far (especially when cleaning gutters). When I was 65 someone told me “you bounce well”. I don’t want to find out if I still do.

    I’m not saying your husband has reached that age, but he has reached the age to think carefully about what he can still do and risk vs reward.

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    1. Oh, he’s definitely reached that age. I’ve seen a huge change in his body since the triple bypass pass 8 years ago. But he’s as stubborn as a mule and gets angry if I suggest he slow down. He’s fighting aging with every breath.

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      1. I’ve met a lot of guys like that…when I was helping them out of bed, or managing their chest tube, or figuring out how to wipe their butt when it hurts to move and the arm they usually use for that is broken…one of the details I know about a lot of people is which hand they wipe their butt with – that’s much harder to relearn than switching hands to eat.

        Fighting with every breath is a lot easier than fighting for every breath, which is what happens when you fall off a roof and break a few ribs. (I’ve never seen anyone break more than 22 (of 24).) Though, if he had to breathe after a sternotomy, he knows what I’m talking about.

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      3. Yeah, I knew I was preaching to the choir…but really, I meant that for him, not you. Coming from you, it may sound like “nag, nag, nag” to him. (I’m reminded of the Far Side cartoon where a guy is yelling at his dog and the dog only hears its name.) As someone said years ago (original source unknown): “Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

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  7. You know, my wife’s the same! Since we came back from holiday at the end of January , she’s been so intense all things DIY.

    We’ve also had work done to our kitchen and my office as well as Garden Room built with her retirement lump sum. She’s sanded / re-varnished floors changed all door handles / revamped the big garden/ cleared out all the ‘crap’ (but it was MY crap 😂) to the dump etc etc etc.

    The excuse was that it needed done for a big party we planned.

    That happened at the weekend.

    Now I’m worried that she’ll get bored, demolish the house room by room and then start building it back up again, brick by brick

    Is this what’s to be expected when you marry an older woman? (Only 10 months, but I DO enjoy reminding her. 😉😂😂😂)

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  10. I get it. My husband’s retirement is really a semi-retirement, he just stopped working for someone else and now does a few things he wants to do. He’s happier this way, but he doesn’t climb on roofs which would be… problematic. 🤨

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  12. I think you should support this, at least as long as he isn’t being careless.
    He’ll be healthier getting some fresh air and exercise than he would ever be sitting at a desk. And you just know he’s chattin’ up a storm, right?
    That looks a lot like a man who is living his best life. 👌
    I use that exact same hammer (Important information)🔨

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    1. And when is enough… enough?
      He insisted we buy the timeshare so we could seriously travel during retirement. If he works during the week, spends two days doing yard work on the weekend and is exhausted every night … there’s not a lot left over.

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      1. I’m certainly not advocating for giving up the farm so he can do whatever he wants. You deserve things too, and one of those things is first dibs on the golden years💕.
        Of course, that’s not to say that moderating his position isn’t going to be an exercise in diplomacy; one that should resemble Scheherazade more the Sands of Iwo Jima, since the Marines won that one. He does have to have a win somewhere in this whole thing or you get the thing nobody wants: A grouchy old fart on vacation.
        I know you worry about him having an accident or a cardiac issue. Cathy doesn’t like seeing me getting too aggressive pushing a wheelbarrow up a hill. Well, that’s where the rocks go, right?
        You know the deal. One of these days it’s gonna be over for every one of us and that day could be today as easily as any other, unless you shower in a kiddie pool, I guess. Matter of fact, that’s a pretty good talking point. Now is everything.
        Good luck sorting this out. I hope it doesn’t get too brutal.

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      2. I’ve been the dutiful wife for 40 years, he’s had nothing but wins. Every time he wanted to change careers, I supported it. Every time he wanted to move, we moved. I helped his mother and his brothers and sisters, even moved one of them in with us for a year. I wanted him to retire 10 years ago, he didn’t. I wanted him to retire 5 years ago, he didn’t. When he finally did retire I didn’t want him to go back to work, but he did. Twice now.
        I don’t want him to sit on a porch rocking chair and die… but when will we do something I want?

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      3. I’m feelin’ ya, dude. I like it here but I sure didn’t like the way I got here. I never wanted to live with my in-laws living in the same town, jammed up my ass day and night and making all my major life decisions for me, but that’s what I got. I didn’t really get a lot of support early on but Cathy gets it now. It’s a bit too late to do anything about most of it but I’m glad she understands how I feel. “When will we do something I want?” Is a great question. Ask it daily.

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    1. It was ridiculous. He worked there over 20 years, left for under a year and when he returned… wasn’t allowed to do his job. It was too frustrating, so he left again.

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  15. I just hope you have good life insurance on him!

    He’s a worker bee and needs to be productive; some people are wired that way. I say, let him do his thing, but make sure you’re paying the insurance bills. 🙂

    Coach told me recently, that he’ll keep working until he’s 70. Years ago, he was going to stop at 55, but now it’s been pushed back, and only because he enjoys it. Honestly, it’s better that he stays out of my hair. I know you know what I mean.

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  16. He’s the same age as my dad (was) and my mom. My dad was the same way in retirement. He couldn’t sit still and was constantly tinkering in the garage, yard, and house. That was his happy place. That was my dad’s dream retirement. ❤️

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      1. I love him. My uncle was just the same. 40 years strong. You found a good one there. If you’re anything like my aunty, you’re probably in charge most of the time 😉

        I feel it’s a privilege to see what happens next.

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