.
Because I’ll never run out of useless.
.
.
I’d say that’s a fair trade, but then I’m not a man.
.
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You can’t make this stuff up.
.
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A Kodak moment for sure.
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Is there a bad way?
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Because they were big?
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Petrified vomit and poo.
Paleontology is such a glamorous profession.
.
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Fingers crossed he’s the first to go.
.
River's world..... 
I adore my candle that smalls like dirt, so I’d probably like that drink that tastes like tree bark. My only question: how does anyone know what tree bark tastes like in the first place?
You gotta be suspicious about that rat/wedding story when the animal pictured looks not like a rat at all, but very much like a waterlogged capybara…
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There was a video. It was too small for a capybara…. though I take your point.
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The rat is a nutria. We have ’em all over the south. In New Orleans the police sharpshooters roll around the canals and such, shooting them from the back of a truck. Definitely more humane than poison.
$412 M? For the loss of my pecker? That’s not even a good down payment.
Birch beer is wonderful. It’s made from the cambium layer, so it won’t be bark until sometime next year.
I’ll be talking to my paleontologist friend about dinosaur turds. Thanks, no really.
Elon’s a pretty smart guy, but not as smart as me. I know when I’m not smart enough.
This was a good post. Thanks for giving me a laugh.
Sleep tight, Jimmy, and thank you.
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412M is a nice chunk of change. You men are too attached…
🤣
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Just attached enough, thanks. And I don’t want to be the millionaire with the broken wiener. Sentiment is a powerful thing.
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🤣
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Sassafras and cinnamon barks are probably flavors you’re familiar with.
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I’m trying to clear my mind of the image of a dinosaur throwing up. Thanks for the great start to my week.
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No problem.
Happy to help…
😈
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Can’t top the rat story, but I had a friend once do a Tarot reading for me. He took himself very seriously. We were sitting at the base of a very small cliff when we heard a frantic scurrying sound from above. A mouse slipped off the edge and fell directly onto his head before scurrying off. I had trouble taking him seriously after that.
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I can see why.
Too funny!
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Oh, I can just see it. The very first thing they build in the city on mars is a round-a-bout. Some say round-a-bouts were invented by the devil himself.
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We can’t even avoid them there?
Great…
🥴
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Fingers crossed, indeed. Glad my parents never knew dinosaurs were picky. I’d never have heard the end of it.
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Ha!
So true….
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It’s definitely Monday morning if the Useless News post is out 😆🤣
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It is that.
👍
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What a special wedding moment!
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The envy of all their friends, I’m sure…
🤣
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😂
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Tree bark = sassofrass?? Just guessing.
$412M? Too much!!
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I think the sexes are going to be split on that one..
🤣
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Maybe the 1%’ers will head to Mars
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Any man who uses his thingie dingie as a pincushion can’t complain when it shrinks, shrivels or falls off and the dog eats it.
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I read the 70 year old man went in complaining of fatigue and weight loss. Didn’t he wonder why they were injecting that particular piece of anatomy?
🥴
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Have you ever smelled a Ponderosa pine? It’s also known as a sugar pine for a reason. I can actually see turning the bark into a rather tasty beverage!
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One of the best stouts I’ve ever had was brewed with pine. It was amazing..
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Your commentary is 🔥, River.
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Thanks.
I try…
🤣
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What the he’ll were they injecting?
As for the Rat, it obviously wanted to be a witness.
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Or he just wanted a piece of cake…
😉
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Maybe the dinosaurs would still be around if they’d been more picky and less vomiting.
Also, the Missus would totally accept $412M for my…hardware.
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Most women would…
🤣
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Two caught my attention: (1) How would they know what bark tastes like? Do they go around munching on Grandfather Oaks? (2) Dinos survived by dropping turds so big, the toxic smell wiped out everything that was a threat to their existence.
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Tiptoeing through dinosaur piles must have been challenging…
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In Jurassic Park they stuck their hand in it, so there is that.
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😂😂😂
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