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Because it’s Monday and that’s how we start the week around here.

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If you reach a certain age, your mother’s words will start pouring from your mouth. This just proves it scientifically. .

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Not the French fries!

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Oh, those crazy kids.

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A biological cliff? Sure.

There’s also the actual cliff menopausal women want to hurl themselves off after years of hot flashes, fatigue and weight gain. Unfortunately we’re all too tired to do it.

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We saw a male hippo do this at the National Zoo.

Speaking as a female? I did not love it.

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I was extremely glad to read it wasn’t kale. Or quinoa. Or liver, or lentils. No…. his secret to long life?

Fish and chips.

Thank you sir. You’ve restored my faith in humanity.

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Always abundant.

Always useless.

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I’ve never been so glad to be happily married and off the dating market as I am right now.

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They’re breeding?

Great…

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It’s always good to have a backup plan.

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I’m sorry, I thought they already did.

He’s in the White House.

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No portapotties on Mars.

It’s a thing.

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I’m crying uncle.

You can pumpkin spice coffee, and pumpkin spice Twinkies… I’ve even seen pumpkin spice popcorn…. but geesh.

Leave the turtles alone.

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More news.

All of it useless.

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Take that dog lovers!

Cats equal happiness.

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As hobbies go, I’m a bit puzzled.

But I can see the natural progression.

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I’m more interested in why someone tried to electrocute a pickle in the first place. Was their Netflix down…?

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Finally, an answer to the riddle of climate change.

Penguin poo.

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I don’t know about you, but I’ve had more than enough of Jeff Bezos and his ilk already.

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I’ll save you the trouble, it’s Amber Heard. Not that I care, just wanted to share what passes for news these days.

🥴

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More news.

All of it useless.

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He wants you to keep your urine and use it as fertilizer.

Yeah, that’s not happening here.

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Yes friends, you can be the proud owner of a 26 foot tall building shaped like a blueberry. A price hasn’t been announced yet, but really… does it even matter?

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If our resident red squirrels hear about this, we’re doomed.

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A portal?

Maybe, but not to another world.

🤣

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Jay Leno is a decent human being. When we visited Newport, Rhode Island twice last year we heard a lot of locals speak of him fondly. He has a large waterfront home there but appreciates being able to go into town without any fanfare. He frequents local shops and restaurants, watches local high school games and has been known to browse the farmers market. Caring for his wife who has advanced dementia at home and donating time and money to local charities has endeared him to Newporters and this story is further proof.

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Home baked cookies.

Somehow I can’t see Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos being quite as gracious.

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That’s a whole lotta of pie!

🥧

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Starting your week off right.

One Monday at a time.

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Moving is the only acceptable answer.

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In case you were wondering.

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180 cases in 88 years isn’t too bad.

Unless it’s your brain that is.

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Whaaaaaat?

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That thing would wreak havoc on the subway.

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Aside from the mimosas, this won’t bother me a bit.

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Leave it to Italy to start the flashing.

🤣

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Still here.

Still useless.

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Uh uh.

No cockroach milkshake for this chick.

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Yes, she lost control of her bowels while running and kept going…. with the excrement, well… how shall we say? Dispersing.

🤢

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Thankfully the teeth belonged to wolves, deer and bear. Not great aunt Edna. That would be tacky.

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Of course it does.

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Apparently it had a hand crank.

Make of that information what you will.

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I’ve been known to squeal over a fine piece of chocolate, but I don’t think I’ve ever gone ultrasonic.

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Bringing you all the news that’s not fit to print every Monday… just because I can.

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Have we been doing this?

I was unaware.

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I suppose that would be handy if you get the urge to bake Martian bread.

Just knock down a wall.

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This explains so much.

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My first thought on reading this?

You’re an idiot.

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And look. I was right.

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Woodchucks are a type of marmot and we have an entire woodchuck family under our barn.

My sandals are scared.

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More pointless facts to fill your brain.

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Unless they settled the age old boxers vs briefs debate? I’m not sure I care.

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Sadly it doesn’t. And it’s a knee friendly exercise, so… damn.

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While it would feed a lot more people than my usual chicken, I’m not sure I’m up for fixing that much stuffing.

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I just finished watching Monarch – Legacy of Monsters with Kurt Russell. Lesson learned?

Do Not Explore The Underground Forests!

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Here’s a novel idea …

Stop fracking.

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I can’t speak for everyone, but personally?

No.

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Because it’s Monday and that’s how we start the week here.

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s because he was born, raised and still lives here… but what do I know?

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Thankfully she didn’t open it.

Ick!

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Best.

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Wedding photos.

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Ever.

💕

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Robots creep me out. Always have, always will.

The robot Olympics were funny because so many of them crashed and burned, but when they all marched in like an invading army? I literally cringed.

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https://youtube.com/shorts/DoGA9K7-p6A?is=KZiOrJ9pwbOzFlCo

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We’ll be sorry. Trust me on this.

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Kudos Australia. Almost every living thing there can kill you already, so I guess nuclear apocalypse isn’t that big a deal.

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Still here.

Still useless.

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Weed vomiting is now a thing.

Partaking of the chronic was so much easier in my day.

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Doing their part to keep Portland weird.

Carry on boys.

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Cake topper?

Why not.

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Probably not, but it will certainly make men want to.

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That’s a 911 call you don’t hear very often.

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Taking the term camaraderie to an entirely new level.

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🤣

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