Tag Archives: news

News you can’t use.

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You can’t use it, but if it entertains you… I’ll settle for that.

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That’s something you don’t see everyday.

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I’ll take him for a seat companion any day.

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I’ve probably seen them all already, but sure.

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My husband plogs every time we walk. He even carries a trash bag in his pocket.

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Clever ad campaign, but I’m still only buying two shoes at a time.

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Good on you Fido. I’m sure you would have beaten me as well.

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News you can’t use.

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And if you can use it? I’m sorry.

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I haven’t read it, nor do I have any intention of reading it, but damn. That doesn’t sound pleasant.

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Duly noted.

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I never understand people who linger there to read or play with their devices. I adore reading… but there are more comfortable seats in the house.

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That was one busy trio.

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Yes, you read that correctly.

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I’m proud to say my liquor consumption did not waver during the pandemic… and rest assured, I continue to do my part to shore up America’s potent potable economy.

😉

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News you can’t use.

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This week’s headlines fall under the I really didn’t need to know that category.

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Sorry, but I can’t answer that question. My algorithms are bizarre enough as it is…. I didn’t click because I don’t need to be flooded with vaginal tightening ads.

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Ditto that for this poor woman.

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And this one as well.

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Sorry, but this makes me very glad we don’t have children.

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The fecal-oral route?

That’s a highway I’m definitely going to avoid.

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News you can’t use.

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If you ever can use this news? My apologies, that’s never been the intent.

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What… you thought they built those pyramids sober?

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I’d like to say this is a joke and laugh, but it’s true and not the least bit funny.

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I’m having visions of lobsters flitting to and to fro from plant to plant under the sea… and it’s quite delightful.

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No side effects from climate change my ass.

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At this point he’s got my vote, dude.

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I shouldn’t read the news.

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I like to consider myself well informed when it comes to current events. To be honest, I can’t help it since my husband is a news junkie and has it on what seems like morning, noon and night. But I also scroll through multiple sources on my iPhone feed. This is not always a good thing… as evidenced by an article I read the other day which concerned a Tweet about the redacted affidavit by Donald Trump Jr.

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And if drawing my attention to Donald Sr.’s nether regions wasn’t awful enough… there was this:

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Oh. The mental image horror!

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News you can’t use.

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You might not be able to use it, but these things must be shared.

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No, not the Walking Dead kind… just zombie viral genomes. They don’t have a tv show but are still pretty impressive.

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That’s one bad ass prehistoric goldfish.

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There’s an America’s Best Restroom contest. How did I not know this? What are the categories… most comfortable commode? Most elbow room in a stall? Most stylish tampon dispenser? I need to know!

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Am I the only one who finds this disturbing?

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I.

Can’t.

Even.

😳

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News you can’t use.

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You can’t use it, but read it anyway.

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Do not piss off a camel. Got it!

Funny story…. back in the early 80’s my Marine Corps husband ported in Israel for two weeks while on a med float. Not one to hit the dive bars… he toured Jerusalem, Masada and swam in the Dead Sea. He also rode a camel.

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Said camel did not bite him, but it did make its displeasure known and spit on him quite frequently.

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Deal me out. I don’t care how pretty your deck of cards is, a night spent discussing weight gain, mood swings and hot flashes is not my idea of a good time.

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I don’t watch Tik Tok videos. And now I know why…

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Why is this weasel still talking?

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He’s a reprehensible human being and should crawl back into the hole from whence he came.

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They’re going to have to go a long way to beat or even equal the original. But I’m psyched! And ready to watch them try.

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News you can’t use.

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Because the world is full of it. In more ways than one…

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The only appropriate response to this is…. why?

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I was unaware of this beyond ridiculous law, but sadly it’s true. And once again it makes me wonder, why does America hate its women?

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Finally, a workout routine I might be able to stick with.

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You can run, but you can’t hide. Sorry Georgia and South Carolina.

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I can’t confirm this particular news, but I really hope it’s true.

🤣

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News you can’t use.

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Or maybe you can. Who am I to judge?

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Unbearable heat. Sink holes that can swallow your house. Hurricanes. Anacondas and boa constrictors in the waterways. Now there are giant snails? Makes me glad I’m at the other end of I-95.

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Did she hide them in her hair? If so, it’s easy to see how she got away with it for so long….

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This guy had a period for 20 years and didn’t know it. Bloating and homicidal mood swings weren’t enough to make him wonder?

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This doesn’t surprise me at all. Matter of fact, I’ve known a few guys like that myself…

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Miscellaneous silliness

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Because we all need a little more silly in our lives.

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I’ve had my share of asshole plants. Matter of fact, I’m looking at one right now.

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See it up there taunting me? Scraggly, half dead. Yellow and brown tipped leaves so I don’t know if it has too much water or not enough. What a jerk. And talk about a misnomer. It’s called a Philippine money tree but hasn’t dropped a single 20 dollar bill on me in the 5 years he’s lived here… the rat bastard.

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Umm… far be it for me to argue with granny, but that doesn’t look like a lady to me. Check your ad copy nana. He doesn’t need a bra as much as a girdle.

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Unexpected? How hard is it to chop celery for heavens sake.

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When they’re right, they’re right.

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