.

Still here.

Still useless.

.

.

Weed vomiting is now a thing.

Partaking of the chronic was so much easier in my day.

.

.

Doing their part to keep Portland weird.

Carry on boys.

.

.

Cake topper?

Why not.

.

.

Probably not, but it will certainly make men want to.

.

.

That’s a 911 call you don’t hear very often.

.

.

Taking the term camaraderie to an entirely new level.

.

.

🤣

.

.

It’s extremely useless this week.

.

.

This story begs further research… why was a lemur taking yoga? How did he catch herpes? But my algorithms are crazy enough, there’s no way I’m adding lemur herpes to the lineup.

.

.

Have you heard about this ridiculousness?

.

.

I’m speechless.

.

.

Splinters.

Yikes!

😳

.

.

Hey, if it means bypassing those long TSA lines? I’m all for it.

.

.

I’ve never been to California, no less the La Brea Tar Pits… but if it’s burping up 2 million year old toads? Will one of my west coast friends please go and take some pictures.

.

.

This makes me very glad I’m too old and decrepit to attend concerts.

.

.

What the utter ****?

.

.

What on earth is wrong with people? And don’t blame Covid. I’m not buying that as a valid reason.

🥴

.

.

News is a term I use loosely these days.

.

.

See what I mean?

Not sexy, just stupid.

.

.

We haven’t had a dog for years…

.

.

So will my readers who do please research this and report back?

.

.

I rarely post political, but …

.

.

This is the very definition of incompetence.

.

.

Never be separated from your best friend… or a fresh seafood dinner.

Clever.

.

.

Just in case that first story about stupid fashion wasn’t stupid enough.

.

.

You can’t use it, and yet there’s so much of it.

.

.

I have go out to dinner shoes, gardening shoes, beach shoes, snow storm shoes, long distance walking shoes and shoes I can’t wear any more due to a bunion.

What I don’t have are poop shoes.

.

.

Clearly someone likes to say sh*t.

.

.

A blood smoothie?

Thanks for that nightmare.

.

.

I think I’m going to pass on this one.

.

.

If you’ve ever watched The Last of Us? Trust me, dead fungus is the way to go.

.

.

I had to laugh at this pic. Every time my husband and I see a duck in that position we yell butts up!

.

.

Is the cloaca having a big year?

I’m so behind on the trends.

.

.

My guess is they received a government grant.

Nice work if you can get it.

🥴

.

.

Because stupid news is as good a way as any to start the week.

..

.

No, the magic material isn’t poo, it’s volcanic ash.

.

.

Um, I beg to differ. Any amount of heavy metal in tampons is too damn much .

.

.

Arsenic tampons.

I’ve never been so glad to be menopausal as I am right now.

.

.

You’ll excuse me if I don’t shed any tears for people who are suffering from that horrible affliction of too much profit.

😡

.

.

I know they’ve survived.

Every time my husband tells me…. you sound just like your mother.

.

.

I like fashion as much as the next gal, but homicidal pants is a hard pass.

.

.

Now that’s what I call a bell clanger!

🤣

.

.

Always useless.

Always abundant.

.

.

And that fish in particular.

He must have some really bad neighbors.

.

.

Thanks.

But I’d rather not…

.

.

If it’s all the same to you? I’d rather not meet him either.

.

.

I know I drove my drivers ed instructor nuts, but at least he didn’t bail out on I-95.

Yikes.

.

.

This was a huge local story.

And so damn cute!

.

.

And some that doesn’t bear thinking about.

.

.

Yeah.

Like that.

.

.

I think I’m doomed.

.

.

Well, damn.

It’s going to be an itchy summer.

.

.

If it means being able to escape the endless political news my husband has on 24 hours a day? That might be worth it.

.

.

Gulliver’s Travels fungus?

Interesting.

.

.

Way to go grandma.

.

.

As one does.

🥴

.

.

Seriously.

No one can.

.

.

Good grief.

Most men don’t know what to do with one.

😈

.

.

I think I’m more concerned with how they get out.

😳

.

.

And they’re just telling me now?

Damn. That would have been tv worth watching.

.

.

Honey badger don’t play.

.

.

You have to appreciate that level of commitment.

.

.

I’m sure it was wonderful… but I’m guessing a tad over priced.

.

.

You can’t use it, but read it anyway.

.

.

Now there’s an odd couple I wouldn’t have put together.

.

.

I knew that robin in our backyard looked too happy the other day…

.

.

What?

.

.

Have you priced a decent bra these days? If it can’t hold my girls for more than a year… I’m not buying it.

.

.

I don’t see why not.

My husband had one as a pet when he was a teenager. They’re delightful.

.

.

I think we all know the answer to that.

Not unless there’s fresh tuna involved.

.

.

Nope.

I don’t need to know anything more about testicles than I already do.

.

.

Not today.

Not ever.

.

.

If I looked like that? I think death would be preferable.

.

.

Because someone is peeing in it.

I recently read an article that said 62% of people urinate in the shower. I don’t, never have and never will… but that’s a high percentage. Clearly someone is.

.

.

See?

I told you.

.

.

Worst.

Vacation.

Ever.

.

.

Why does everything in Australia want to kill you?

.

.

Bad enough the Aussies have the most deadly snakes and spiders, but now the trees are out to get you.

Damn.

.

.

That you’re an idiot.

But wait, there’s more.

.

.

Proof that mom’s advice to keep your hands out of your pants wasn’t always spot on.

.

.

Get yours today!

.

.

Which is more than I really need to know.

.