.

You can’t use it, but read it anyway.

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Now there’s an odd couple I wouldn’t have put together.

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I knew that robin in our backyard looked too happy the other day…

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What?

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Have you priced a decent bra these days? If it can’t hold my girls for more than a year… I’m not buying it.

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I don’t see why not.

My husband had one as a pet when he was a teenager. They’re delightful.

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I think we all know the answer to that.

Not unless there’s fresh tuna involved.

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Nope.

I don’t need to know anything more about testicles than I already do.

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Not today.

Not ever.

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If I looked like that? I think death would be preferable.

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Because someone is peeing in it.

I recently read an article that said 62% of people urinate in the shower. I don’t, never have and never will… but that’s a high percentage. Clearly someone is.

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See?

I told you.

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Worst.

Vacation.

Ever.

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Why does everything in Australia want to kill you?

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Bad enough the Aussies have the most deadly snakes and spiders, but now the trees are out to get you.

Damn.

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That you’re an idiot.

But wait, there’s more.

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Proof that mom’s advice to keep your hands out of your pants wasn’t always spot on.

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Get yours today!

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Which is more than I really need to know.

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The very definition of useless, right here.

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Bet you didn’t think you’d be reading about that when you woke up this morning.

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Damn. I’ve had dates that were hard to get rid of, but this guy takes the cake.

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I’ve felt that way ever since Trump was elected.

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To which I say…

It’s about time.

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Have you ever heard of/tried Bubs?

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Never fear, I just ordered a 4 pack and will report back after arrival.

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There’s a mental image I didn’t need.

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While I don’t usually post politically charged content, this seemed like a potent statement on our current climate.

🤣

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Useless but (hopefully) entertaining. That’s my blog in a nutshell.

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Say what?

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I don’t call being two inches tall and looking exactly like a mouse normal for a human child, but what do I know?

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Mine is clearly an extra…. for when my front two wear out from excessive rolling.

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Leave it to a no nonsense Mainer. Angus King wants Medicare to pay for $12 bath mats for seniors so they won’t slip in the shower and break a hip. A simple and cheap solution, so naturally the government won’t go for it.

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I know nothing about the history of the pubic wig. And I plan on keeping it that way.

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I do believe I’ve found my spirit animal.

Cheers!

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Because the news we can use is too depressing these days.

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The bad news?

Your coworkers hit a sale on cocktail sauce.

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I think the “don’t pee here!” visual for husbands is a good reason, but apparently it’s a guide for kids to make sure they clean the toilet properly.

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Just for you Mark.

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I think you know I won’t be partaking.

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Blech!

🤢

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They say it’s encroaching on people’s space, blocking views, and being noisy.

I say it’s overweight old men wearing tiny Speedos.

😳

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I guess it stands to reason. That was a lot of barbecued Brontosaurus.

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I watched The Last of Us. Massive fungal blooms munching their way across the planet makes me shudder.

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Useless is a state of mind.

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Please don’t tell my husband. We have enough useless junk around here as it is.

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Whaaaaat?

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Nope. Uh uh.

That’s a number I do not need to know.

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Because no one… or thing… can resist an epic selfie background.

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Oh goodie. Maybe I don’t really have a damaged knee.

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And speaking of AI….

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So humans think AI is evil.

AI trains by reading human text saying it’s evil.

And AI becomes evil.

That’s a self fulfilling prophecy if ever I saw one.

😳

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Always useless, sometimes chuckle worthy.

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Best. Name. For a space potato.

Ever.

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I may be old school but I still use mine. No notifications, no algorithms picking your playlist.

Look at me, I’m trendy.

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Is everyone talking about this?

I was blissfully unaware.

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Tiny butts rule.

What else is new?

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I don’t know about dinosaur tombstones, but lots of organized crime members are currently decomposing under and around the Meadowlands.

😉

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Were the beans unhappy and organizing a coup?

And if so, why wasn’t I told.

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And maybe one you can.

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Zombie cells?

Does this mean we’re going to get a sudden craving for brains…

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I admit I couldn’t think of any practical reasons for a living room butter dish. And after reading what they’re referencing?

(Hiding the remote control)

I still can’t.

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And you thought archeology wasn’t a glamorous profession .

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Seems a little extreme to me.

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Dirt.

I bet it still tastes better than McDonalds.

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.

It’s August 5.

.

https://youtu.be/PxZg4SfIURg?si=jJwq-O0M63oFKlbD

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And I love Ted Lasso so this was news I could use.

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.

You can’t use it, but it’s Monday… so here we are.

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.

I’m sorry, is there a global sperm shortage of which I’m unaware?

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.

That’s a lot of Swedish meatballs.

.

.

I won’t list them, but here are a few highlights…

Yes, It Can Actually Break.

What goes in must come out.

You’re welcome.

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.

Good grief. As if fake news and fake boobs aren’t artificial enough these days, now I have to wonder if my grocery store sourdough is real.

(True sourdough should only have three ingredients…. flour, water, and salt. Check the ingredients)

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I don’t know about your gut,, but if you’re substituting a cactus for toilet paper? Your tuchus isn’t going to be very pleased.

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A bit odd, but it can’t be any worse than what our gutless Congress will be pushing.

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Our President teamed up with a member of the adult industry a while back as well, though with slightly different results.

😈

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Still here, still useless.

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Trying to escape the Mar-A-Lago Moron no doubt.

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.

She pops pimples for a living. A stroke seems preferable…

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Just in case you were wondering.

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Denmark and Orlando seems a bizarrely random research combination .

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.

I couldn’t stand the original… which btw, was called Little Sh*thouse on the Clam Flats in Maine… why would I want to see the new one?

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.

The Last of Us.

If that doesn’t convince you, nothing will.

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A slightly disturbing way to declutter your closet.

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🤣

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