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Bringing you all the news that’s not fit to print every Monday… just because I can.

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Have we been doing this?

I was unaware.

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I suppose that would be handy if you get the urge to bake Martian bread.

Just knock down a wall.

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This explains so much.

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My first thought on reading this?

You’re an idiot.

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And look. I was right.

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Woodchucks are a type of marmot and we have an entire woodchuck family under our barn.

My sandals are scared.

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More pointless facts to fill your brain.

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Unless they settled the age old boxers vs briefs debate? I’m not sure I care.

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Sadly it doesn’t. And it’s a knee friendly exercise, so… damn.

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While it would feed a lot more people than my usual chicken, I’m not sure I’m up for fixing that much stuffing.

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I just finished watching Monarch – Legacy of Monsters with Kurt Russell. Lesson learned?

Do Not Explore The Underground Forests!

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Here’s a novel idea …

Stop fracking.

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I can’t speak for everyone, but personally?

No.

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Because it’s Monday and that’s how we start the week here.

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s because he was born, raised and still lives here… but what do I know?

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Thankfully she didn’t open it.

Ick!

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Best.

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Wedding photos.

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Ever.

💕

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Robots creep me out. Always have, always will.

The robot Olympics were funny because so many of them crashed and burned, but when they all marched in like an invading army? I literally cringed.

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https://youtube.com/shorts/DoGA9K7-p6A?is=KZiOrJ9pwbOzFlCo

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We’ll be sorry. Trust me on this.

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Kudos Australia. Almost every living thing there can kill you already, so I guess nuclear apocalypse isn’t that big a deal.

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Still here.

Still useless.

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Weed vomiting is now a thing.

Partaking of the chronic was so much easier in my day.

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Doing their part to keep Portland weird.

Carry on boys.

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Cake topper?

Why not.

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Probably not, but it will certainly make men want to.

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That’s a 911 call you don’t hear very often.

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Taking the term camaraderie to an entirely new level.

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🤣

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It’s extremely useless this week.

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This story begs further research… why was a lemur taking yoga? How did he catch herpes? But my algorithms are crazy enough, there’s no way I’m adding lemur herpes to the lineup.

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Have you heard about this ridiculousness?

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I’m speechless.

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Splinters.

Yikes!

😳

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Hey, if it means bypassing those long TSA lines? I’m all for it.

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I’ve never been to California, no less the La Brea Tar Pits… but if it’s burping up 2 million year old toads? Will one of my west coast friends please go and take some pictures.

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This makes me very glad I’m too old and decrepit to attend concerts.

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What the utter ****?

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What on earth is wrong with people? And don’t blame Covid. I’m not buying that as a valid reason.

🥴

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News is a term I use loosely these days.

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See what I mean?

Not sexy, just stupid.

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We haven’t had a dog for years…

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So will my readers who do please research this and report back?

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I rarely post political, but …

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This is the very definition of incompetence.

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Never be separated from your best friend… or a fresh seafood dinner.

Clever.

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Just in case that first story about stupid fashion wasn’t stupid enough.

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You can’t use it, and yet there’s so much of it.

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I have go out to dinner shoes, gardening shoes, beach shoes, snow storm shoes, long distance walking shoes and shoes I can’t wear any more due to a bunion.

What I don’t have are poop shoes.

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Clearly someone likes to say sh*t.

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A blood smoothie?

Thanks for that nightmare.

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I think I’m going to pass on this one.

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If you’ve ever watched The Last of Us? Trust me, dead fungus is the way to go.

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I had to laugh at this pic. Every time my husband and I see a duck in that position we yell butts up!

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Is the cloaca having a big year?

I’m so behind on the trends.

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My guess is they received a government grant.

Nice work if you can get it.

🥴

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Because stupid news is as good a way as any to start the week.

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No, the magic material isn’t poo, it’s volcanic ash.

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Um, I beg to differ. Any amount of heavy metal in tampons is too damn much .

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Arsenic tampons.

I’ve never been so glad to be menopausal as I am right now.

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You’ll excuse me if I don’t shed any tears for people who are suffering from that horrible affliction of too much profit.

😡

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I know they’ve survived.

Every time my husband tells me…. you sound just like your mother.

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I like fashion as much as the next gal, but homicidal pants is a hard pass.

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Now that’s what I call a bell clanger!

🤣

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Always useless.

Always abundant.

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And that fish in particular.

He must have some really bad neighbors.

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Thanks.

But I’d rather not…

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If it’s all the same to you? I’d rather not meet him either.

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I know I drove my drivers ed instructor nuts, but at least he didn’t bail out on I-95.

Yikes.

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This was a huge local story.

And so damn cute!

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