Tag Archives: headlines

News you can’t use.

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Still here.

Still useless.

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Weed vomiting is now a thing.

Partaking of the chronic was so much easier in my day.

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Doing their part to keep Portland weird.

Carry on boys.

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Cake topper?

Why not.

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Probably not, but it will certainly make men want to.

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That’s a 911 call you don’t hear very often.

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Taking the term camaraderie to an entirely new level.

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🤣

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News you can’t use.

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It’s extremely useless this week.

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This story begs further research… why was a lemur taking yoga? How did he catch herpes? But my algorithms are crazy enough, there’s no way I’m adding lemur herpes to the lineup.

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Have you heard about this ridiculousness?

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I’m speechless.

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Splinters.

Yikes!

😳

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Hey, if it means bypassing those long TSA lines? I’m all for it.

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I’ve never been to California, no less the La Brea Tar Pits… but if it’s burping up 2 million year old toads? Will one of my west coast friends please go and take some pictures.

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This makes me very glad I’m too old and decrepit to attend concerts.

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What the utter ****?

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What on earth is wrong with people? And don’t blame Covid. I’m not buying that as a valid reason.

🥴

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News you can’t use.

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News is a term I use loosely these days.

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See what I mean?

Not sexy, just stupid.

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We haven’t had a dog for years…

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So will my readers who do please research this and report back?

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I rarely post political, but …

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This is the very definition of incompetence.

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Never be separated from your best friend… or a fresh seafood dinner.

Clever.

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Just in case that first story about stupid fashion wasn’t stupid enough.

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News you can’t use.

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You can’t use it, and yet there’s so much of it.

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I have go out to dinner shoes, gardening shoes, beach shoes, snow storm shoes, long distance walking shoes and shoes I can’t wear any more due to a bunion.

What I don’t have are poop shoes.

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Clearly someone likes to say sh*t.

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A blood smoothie?

Thanks for that nightmare.

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I think I’m going to pass on this one.

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If you’ve ever watched The Last of Us? Trust me, dead fungus is the way to go.

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I had to laugh at this pic. Every time my husband and I see a duck in that position we yell butts up!

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Is the cloaca having a big year?

I’m so behind on the trends.

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My guess is they received a government grant.

Nice work if you can get it.

🥴

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News you can’t use.

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Because stupid news is as good a way as any to start the week.

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No, the magic material isn’t poo, it’s volcanic ash.

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Um, I beg to differ. Any amount of heavy metal in tampons is too damn much .

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Arsenic tampons.

I’ve never been so glad to be menopausal as I am right now.

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You’ll excuse me if I don’t shed any tears for people who are suffering from that horrible affliction of too much profit.

😡

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I know they’ve survived.

Every time my husband tells me…. you sound just like your mother.

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I like fashion as much as the next gal, but homicidal pants is a hard pass.

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Now that’s what I call a bell clanger!

🤣

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News you can’t use.

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Useless and ridiculous. Like so much else these days…

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See?

Ridiculous.

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To be honest, I was unaware anyone did.

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Turns out it does and that’s what produces the wonderful scent.

Sorry, not sorry.

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There’s a festival devoted to menopause and no one told me!

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Menopunkapalooza.

You can’t make this stuff up. And the fact that it’s held in Portland, Oregon doesn’t surprise me one bit.

👍

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As one does.

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Not your average souvenir, that.

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But he did buy it in Texas, so… enough said.

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News you can’t use.

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Always useless.

Always abundant.

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And that fish in particular.

He must have some really bad neighbors.

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Thanks.

But I’d rather not…

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If it’s all the same to you? I’d rather not meet him either.

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I know I drove my drivers ed instructor nuts, but at least he didn’t bail out on I-95.

Yikes.

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This was a huge local story.

And so damn cute!

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News you can’t use.

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And some that doesn’t bear thinking about.

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Yeah.

Like that.

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I think I’m doomed.

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Well, damn.

It’s going to be an itchy summer.

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If it means being able to escape the endless political news my husband has on 24 hours a day? That might be worth it.

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Gulliver’s Travels fungus?

Interesting.

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Way to go grandma.

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As one does.

🥴

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News you can’t use.

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Seriously.

No one can.

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Good grief.

Most men don’t know what to do with one.

😈

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I think I’m more concerned with how they get out.

😳

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And they’re just telling me now?

Damn. That would have been tv worth watching.

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Honey badger don’t play.

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You have to appreciate that level of commitment.

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I’m sure it was wonderful… but I’m guessing a tad over priced.

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News you can’t use.

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You can’t use it, but read it anyway.

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Now there’s an odd couple I wouldn’t have put together.

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I knew that robin in our backyard looked too happy the other day…

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What?

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Have you priced a decent bra these days? If it can’t hold my girls for more than a year… I’m not buying it.

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I don’t see why not.

My husband had one as a pet when he was a teenager. They’re delightful.

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I think we all know the answer to that.

Not unless there’s fresh tuna involved.

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Nope.

I don’t need to know anything more about testicles than I already do.

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