.

You … and everyone else.

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Because they’re more bored than I thought humanly possible?

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I stand corrected, there are one thousand and two uses for duct tape.

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Right now I’d settle for reaching back before the past few administrations.

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Sh*t just got real.

😳

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Of course they did.

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What?

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“While Texas grapples with its worst measles outbreak in decades, its Republican lieutenant governor has moved for the state’s restaurants and groceries to change the name of the “New York strip” steak cut to the “Texas strip” in what he evidently hopes is a blow to liberals.

And, perhaps anticipating reproval for his choice to focus at least some of his attention on renaming meat after a child in his state became the first person in the US to die from measles in a decade, Patrick’s statement said: “In a world filled with serious issues that address every day at the Texas capitol, this simple resolution will help better market Texas beef.”

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Unvaccinated people are at risk…. so he wants to rename a steak?

This only makes sense in Texas.

🥴

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Trust me, you really can’t.

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See?

That’s about as useless as it gets.

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I feel you Alice.

I really do.

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I have a lot of muscles I haven’t used in years too.

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Talk about a disappointing tourist attraction.

Geesh.

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Please don’t try this at home.

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Men.

You’re inexplicable… no matter the species.

🤣

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Admit it, you look forward to this nonsense.

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See?

Nonsense.

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The Big Poo Review.

Nothing but hard news for my readers, yes sir.

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I never even knew we were talking.

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Of course she does.

She’s proud.

But the very next day?

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Don’t try this at home children.

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Moral of the story?

Butt crack piercing (predictive text changed this to ‘butt frack piercing’, which sounds even more painful) is not for the faint hearted.

Or faint butted.

🥴

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And really, why would you want to?

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This begs the question why.

But on second thought, I don’t think I want to know.

😳

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The remedy for overly salted Spam should be the same for everyday, run of the mill Spam.

Throw it out!

🤢

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I’ve been reading a lot about extraordinary fungus lately.

I also watch The Last of Us…. so this troubles me mightily.

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I don’t care for chimps. This can just be another reason why.

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Great. Like we don’t have enough to worry about already.

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Are there people too dorky to season their food? This seems like an awfully low bar for AI applications..

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As one does.

🥴

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No one can.

But here we are…

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John Bobbit is green with envy.

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And all these years I thought it was a reusable appendage.

Who knew?

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I’d rather not, but thanks.

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I’m guessing that would be chicken.

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I know wine improves with age, but urine…?

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Those would have been some seriously disappointed builders.

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I watch The Last of Us, that’s not all the fungi could be doing.

😳

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This is impressive, considering he died almost a year and a half ago.

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But dead or not..

It’s hard to disagree.

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But if you can use it, I’m not sure I want to know.

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Admit it, we’ve all known men like this.

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I call foul.

My diet includes burgers and martinis… and I don’t look at all like that.

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Entirely… or at all?

Yikes.

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Holy Hell…

That’s a python and a half.

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After.

So everything was fine during the sex with 620 men?

😳

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It’s useless, but hopefully entertaining as well.

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Is it me…. or are those dodos wearing some very bad toupees? No wonder they went extinct.

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It could hardly be any worse.

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Narcissists are the worst.

Though ripping off their faces may be an extreme solution.

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Sounds like they found him.

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I love Cajun food and learned to cook gumbo and etouffe from Louisiana natives. But swamp rat is one pirogue too far.

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Knowing it worked is enough for me.

You want details? You’re on your own.

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Use is a relative term.

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That’s odd. Most grandmas take their secret recipes with them.

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I know, I know.

You’re all an extra large…

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Damn.

All I ever find in ours is deer poop.

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That’s Elon’s idea.

I just know it.

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Karma is a bitch.

👍

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Imagine how much crabmeat stuffing you’d need for that sucker.

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You can’t use it, but I can’t stop sharing it.

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I have no words.

😳

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I’m not sure that’s going to help with the Russian invasion, but okay.

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Proof that people will do anything to avoid buying a pizza oven.

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Months of undisturbed sleep and dramatic weight loss upon waking? I’m ready for a transfusion.

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And with 8 arms think how quickly they’ll be able to build.

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Whaaaat?

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Filets are the only steak my husband will eat and they are not inexpensive when dining out. I’d rather not pay for glue…

😡