.

Trust me, you really can’t.

.

.

See?

That’s about as useless as it gets.

.

.

I feel you Alice.

I really do.

.

.

I have a lot of muscles I haven’t used in years too.

.

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Talk about a disappointing tourist attraction.

Geesh.

.

.

Please don’t try this at home.

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Men.

You’re inexplicable… no matter the species.

🤣

.

.

Admit it, you look forward to this nonsense.

.

.

See?

Nonsense.

.

.

The Big Poo Review.

Nothing but hard news for my readers, yes sir.

.

.

I never even knew we were talking.

.

.

Of course she does.

She’s proud.

But the very next day?

.

.

Don’t try this at home children.

.

.

Moral of the story?

Butt crack piercing (predictive text changed this to ‘butt frack piercing’, which sounds even more painful) is not for the faint hearted.

Or faint butted.

🥴

.

And really, why would you want to?

.

.

This begs the question why.

But on second thought, I don’t think I want to know.

😳

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.

The remedy for overly salted Spam should be the same for everyday, run of the mill Spam.

Throw it out!

🤢

.

.

I’ve been reading a lot about extraordinary fungus lately.

I also watch The Last of Us…. so this troubles me mightily.

.

.

I don’t care for chimps. This can just be another reason why.

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Great. Like we don’t have enough to worry about already.

.

.

Are there people too dorky to season their food? This seems like an awfully low bar for AI applications..

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As one does.

🥴

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.

No one can.

But here we are…

.

.

John Bobbit is green with envy.

.

.

And all these years I thought it was a reusable appendage.

Who knew?

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.

I’d rather not, but thanks.

.

.

I’m guessing that would be chicken.

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I know wine improves with age, but urine…?

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Those would have been some seriously disappointed builders.

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I watch The Last of Us, that’s not all the fungi could be doing.

😳

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.

This is impressive, considering he died almost a year and a half ago.

.

.

But dead or not..

It’s hard to disagree.

.

.

But if you can use it, I’m not sure I want to know.

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.

Admit it, we’ve all known men like this.

.

.

I call foul.

My diet includes burgers and martinis… and I don’t look at all like that.

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Entirely… or at all?

Yikes.

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.

Holy Hell…

That’s a python and a half.

.

.

After.

So everything was fine during the sex with 620 men?

😳

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.

It’s useless, but hopefully entertaining as well.

.

.

Is it me…. or are those dodos wearing some very bad toupees? No wonder they went extinct.

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.

It could hardly be any worse.

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Narcissists are the worst.

Though ripping off their faces may be an extreme solution.

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Sounds like they found him.

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I love Cajun food and learned to cook gumbo and etouffe from Louisiana natives. But swamp rat is one pirogue too far.

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Knowing it worked is enough for me.

You want details? You’re on your own.

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Use is a relative term.

.

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That’s odd. Most grandmas take their secret recipes with them.

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I know, I know.

You’re all an extra large…

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Damn.

All I ever find in ours is deer poop.

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That’s Elon’s idea.

I just know it.

.

.

Karma is a bitch.

👍

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.

Imagine how much crabmeat stuffing you’d need for that sucker.

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You can’t use it, but I can’t stop sharing it.

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I have no words.

😳

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.

I’m not sure that’s going to help with the Russian invasion, but okay.

.

.

Proof that people will do anything to avoid buying a pizza oven.

.

.

Months of undisturbed sleep and dramatic weight loss upon waking? I’m ready for a transfusion.

.

.

And with 8 arms think how quickly they’ll be able to build.

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Whaaaat?

.

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Filets are the only steak my husband will eat and they are not inexpensive when dining out. I’d rather not pay for glue…

😡