.
Because I’ll never run out of useless.
.
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I’d say that’s a fair trade, but then I’m not a man.
.
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You can’t make this stuff up.
.
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A Kodak moment for sure.
.
.
Is there a bad way?
.
.
Because they were big?
.
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Petrified vomit and poo.
Paleontology is such a glamorous profession.
.
.
Fingers crossed he’s the first to go.
.
.
Because even having Covid can’t stop my nonsense news.
.
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Inspiration?
.
.
Epic oops.
.
.
Talk about multi tasking.
.
.
Finally… a use for artificial intelligence I can get behind.
.
.
I know why.
Australia has wombats.
.
.
Just when I thought our species couldn’t get any stupider.
.
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I don’t even want to tattoo my skin…. needles in my eyes?
Hell no.
.
.
The latest trend in ocean fashion.
.
.
Because we all need a break from political news.
.
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And it’s a sad state of affairs when even gate lice are preferable.
.
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These are the kind of problems I want.
.
.
I think the more important question is why did no one notice he was dead for four days? But it was Wells Fargo, so enough said.
.
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I think you just did.
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That is too disturbing to contemplate.
.
.
Not having children, I was unaware this is a common ailment during pregnancy. Wonder if it’s accompanied by rumbles of thunder…
.
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Not the kind of meet cute story you want to tell your grandchildren.
.
.
Like news you can use, but worse.
.
.
I’m afraid to ask which organ is electric.
.
.
That doctor can bite me.
.
.
Not dying at 45 is isn’t a valid reason to be happy about menopause. It’s not even close.
.
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Wow. Talk about unnecessary surgery.
.
.
Admit it, you all have that one child you wish you could give back and try again.
.
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I don’t know what that is.
And I don’t want to know either…
.
.
Animals are evolving into crabs? I missed this headline and will be keeping a closer eye on our cat from now on.
.
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Freaky?
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For a Kardashian, it’s just another Monday. .
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.
Useless is how I roll.
.
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It’s a public service I provide here.
You’re welcome.
.
.
I love stupid criminals.
.
.
Their kids, or in my case… their wives.
.
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Are turtles a sought after black market commodity in Canada?
How strange.
.
.
Mother in laws.
They don’t even try to be subtle.
.
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Okay people, sh*t just got real.
😫
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.
Useless.
Trust me.
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.
Was there a bra war?
How in the world did I miss that….
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Because nothing screams fun more than knowing the day you’ll drop dead.
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.
FYI…
A ghost poop is a turd that sinks to the bottom of the toilet and disappears. Heavy is healthy.
You’re welcome.
.
.
Geesh.
Like the original size isn’t frustrating enough?
..
.
I’m going to think out of the box here … and say because she was eaten by a shark.
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30 story sewage must be quite a sight.
When viewed from a long distance that is.
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I live for this level of ridiculousness.
.
.
Politicians have been doing it for decades, I don’t see why amphibians can’t.
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Casio can suck it.
Lord Dudley concurs.
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And I thought the giant baby we elected was bad…
Yikes.
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.
I would not.
They’re way too cute.
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Well, there goes my plan to survive the next four years.
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.
And people think I’m nuts for putting a harness on our cat.
Geesh.
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.
Useless, but hopefully amusing.
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.
Can I just say…
Ewww.
.
.
He tasted butter from the Bronze Age?
I won’t even eat a leftover from my fridge after the first day.
.
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I dare them to try that with Lord Dudley Mountcatten.
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.
Mozart might have been a genius when it came to composing, but otherwise he sounds like a right royal ass.
https://www.historyextra.com/period/general-history/why-was-mozart-obsessed-with-poo/
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Nope.
Sorry, I don’t want to know.
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.
I can’t even…
.
.
Because I’m nothing if not helpful.
.
.
I do love a small appliance with multiple uses…
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.
130 years old with two girlfriends?
Props Henry. You da man.
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.
This could be my future.
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Proof that you can take it with you.
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.
As long as it is a nice wedge of dairy.
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Don’t judge. Fish may be *ssholes 200 meters down.
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Thanks, but I’d rather not.
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No one can use it and yet the headlines keep on coming.
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.
Makes you wonder what underwater chef is flinging pasta to test for doneness at those depths.
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.
Here’s the reason – the food is disgusting.
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.
Is she though…
Is she really?
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You go girl.
Or rather, grandma.
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.
And all these years I thought it was full of cheese.
Talk about disappointing.
.
.
I’m going to be watching movies with a whole new eye now…
Damn it.
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River's world..... 