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Because it’s everywhere, it might as well be here.
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A bunch is too much for me.
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This headline flirts with crossing the line to useful news, but it’s still ridiculous…. so I’m including it.
And in case you’re wondering, it’s 5 minutes.
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This is funny.
But only if you don’t live close by and have to endure the cacophony at 4:00am.
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And just like that, I’m glad my gift subscription ran out again.
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Not good.
Not good at all.
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Ouch!
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It’s the best kind.
Trust me.
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That’s one way to guarantee a win.
And so very Russian.
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Serves you right for eating the yogurt that was clearly labeled with her name Dave…
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The reason they live longer than the rest of us?
Wombats.
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I have honestly never wanted to take a Hollywood bus tour…
Until now.
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Apparently it can.
Take a walk immediately after eating a big meal and let ‘er rip. Your digestive tract will thank you.
Though the person walking behind you might not.
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Because you need more useless crap in your life.
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I’ve been to some bad weddings, but they never started with the invitation.
Ouch!
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Hope the kids don’t find those on daddy’s nightstand and start nibbling.
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A little clarity here, she calls her padded bra gel inserts chicken cutlets. Which is disturbing in itself…
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Sure.
What could go wrong there?
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Because the other fish are making fun of how ugly it is?
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Because it’s Monday, and I have to.
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If it requires citrus, I’m not sure I want to know.
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Future Olympic sport, right there.
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It had to be a red squirrel.
They’re evil that way..
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There are some activities that should never be social. This is one of them.
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No problem here, I don’t drink coffee. But please enjoy that morning cup of beetle poo… I’m sure it’s wonderful.
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Or maybe you can.
I won’t judge..
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The painful bit is watching it.
Yikes!
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That’s an infusion I can definitely do without.
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No doubt it was the two youngest children. They’re always brats.
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I’m speechless.
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For $200 a bottle, I want a space alien bartender pouring it as well.
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It’s probably all useless these days, but mine is extra ridiculous.
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Ever had a dog hump your leg?
Imagine if it was an eight foot, 275 pound ostrich. Not so cute anymore.
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I’d buy that.
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Note to self – do not update to iOS 18.
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I’ve been touting hydrogen fuel for years.
I also announce “cow!” whenever we pass one on a road trip.
It’s a perfect combination.
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Is it me… or does AI seem a little too interested in sex lately?
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🤣
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Still here.
Still useless.
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Proof positive people will buy anything.
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Yeah, it’s always the last place you look.
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Because we all need another one of those.
🥴
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Yikes.
For once I’m glad my plumbing is female.
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Because we keep voting for them, that’s why.
But seriously, the creature can live without its head for 30 days. You have to admit, that’s impressive.
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I live for useless.
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Sadly I don’t pay extra for Apple News, so if you need to know why Fido’s poop is pointing north? You’re on your own. My algorithms already hate me, I don’t need more excrement suggestions.
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Of course she did.
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If one of them is a nice leather hobo with exterior pockets, watch out. I may be scouting you for future harvest.
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I’m not sure I want to know what Lord Dudley Mountcatten is thinking. I have enough trouble sleeping already…
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I have never felt the urge to loose my bowels upon bookstore entry..
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The bathroom is the one and only place I don’t read… so I don’t actually get it.
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Because you can never have too much useless news.
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That’s a whole lotta fingers to lick.
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You mean we haven’t already ?
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Had to throw in a little local Maine news because clearly this bear is living his best life.
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AI MTV?
Say it isn’t so..
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A review doesn’t get much harsher than digital diarrhea.
It must be seriously bad.
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Still here.
Still useless.
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I’m sorry, but women using their brains more than men isn’t news.
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You know what we found during our home renovations? Rotted wood, dust and a broken pencil.
Boo to that.
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Oh holy hell. Now I have to worry about being attacked by a robotic labradoodle?
Stop the world, I want to get off.
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Have I mentioned how glad I am that gifted Cosmopolitan subscription ran out?
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Take a look around.
It’s not hard to figure out.
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River's world..... 