.
No one can, and yet here it is.
.
.
That’s a two hour nightmare right there.
.
.
I take it back, that’s the nightmare.
Yikes!
.
.
See above.
Someone needs to make that python a hat…
.
.
Oh, those crazy Mormons and their holy underwear.
.
.
Yeah, I hate when that happens.
.
.
Cheers!
🤣
.
.
Even if you wanted to.
Trust me on this…
.
.
This is where we are as a nation. Or more specifically, Florida.
WTH?
.
.
Climate change deniers?
Sh*t just got real.
😳
.
.
I can’t even…
.
.
I post some pretty ridiculous things in this series, but… wow.
.
.
I fear for us as a species.
I really do.
.
.
The poor thing was just trying to escape the rubber mystery meat and wilted salad. You can’t blame a rodent for that…
.
.
Because the world is a ridiculous place.
.
.
Have you seen who’s running for office these days?
I think it’s pretty obvious.
.
.
Call me crazy, but a military prison usually isn’t at the top of my vacation wish list.
.
.
We encountered nude beaches in France. They’re nothing like you imagine… trust me on this.
.
.
When you need coffee? You need coffee.
No matter your age.
.
.
Which is what one does when they can’t find a 28 foot tall fire hydrant.
.
.
No one can use it, and yet it keeps coming.
.
.
That sounds about right for the U.S. Postal Service these days.
.
.
The only thing that could make a mummy scream like that is discovering she’s pregnant with Elon Musk’s 13th child.
I feel for you sister, I really do.
.
.
Probably because he already has 3.
.
.
I like tequila as much as the next girl but I’m getting extremely tired of celebrity booze brands and their stupid ads.
No one needs grass clippings up their…
Oh, never mind.
.
.
Substitute 4 year old child with 77 year old retired Marine and you’d be living my life. If there’s a sign that says don’t touch, he touches. If it says do not enter, he enters. Clearly he thinks the rules apply to everyone but him.
.
.
Because you need your weekly fix of nonsense news.
.
.
If your penis can lift barbells? I don’t want to know about it…
.
.
Or not.
I’m going with not.
.
.
I am a menopausal woman of a certain age, and while I don’t yet resemble Lord Dudley Mountcatten on the whisker front… I will admit to fighting one stubborn hair that has no business on my chin.
🥴
.
.
I only have one question, but it’s the most important.
Does the cow enjoy it?
.
.
I’m not at all conflicted.
They’re awful.
.
.
Because it’s everywhere, it might as well be here.
.
.
A bunch is too much for me.
.
.
This headline flirts with crossing the line to useful news, but it’s still ridiculous…. so I’m including it.
And in case you’re wondering, it’s 5 minutes.
.
.
This is funny.
But only if you don’t live close by and have to endure the cacophony at 4:00am.
.
.
And just like that, I’m glad my gift subscription ran out again.
.
.
Not good.
Not good at all.
.
.
Ouch!
.
.
It’s the best kind.
Trust me.
.
.
That’s one way to guarantee a win.
And so very Russian.
.
.
Serves you right for eating the yogurt that was clearly labeled with her name Dave…
.
.
The reason they live longer than the rest of us?
Wombats.
.
.
I have honestly never wanted to take a Hollywood bus tour…
Until now.
.
.
Apparently it can.
Take a walk immediately after eating a big meal and let ‘er rip. Your digestive tract will thank you.
Though the person walking behind you might not.
.
.
Because you need more useless crap in your life.
.
.
I’ve been to some bad weddings, but they never started with the invitation.
Ouch!
.
.
Hope the kids don’t find those on daddy’s nightstand and start nibbling.
.
.
A little clarity here, she calls her padded bra gel inserts chicken cutlets. Which is disturbing in itself…
.
.
Sure.
What could go wrong there?
.
.
Because the other fish are making fun of how ugly it is?
.
.
Because it’s Monday, and I have to.
.
.
If it requires citrus, I’m not sure I want to know.
.
.
Future Olympic sport, right there.
.
.
It had to be a red squirrel.
They’re evil that way..
.
.
There are some activities that should never be social. This is one of them.
.
.
No problem here, I don’t drink coffee. But please enjoy that morning cup of beetle poo… I’m sure it’s wonderful.
.
.
Or maybe you can.
I won’t judge..
.
.
The painful bit is watching it.
Yikes!
.
.
That’s an infusion I can definitely do without.
.
.
No doubt it was the two youngest children. They’re always brats.
.
.
I’m speechless.
.
.
For $200 a bottle, I want a space alien bartender pouring it as well.
.
River's world..... 