tacky resorts | River's world…..

This one should be fun.

For me it’s an easy choice. The Poconos.

We’d never been… and though we’re long past the heart shaped red velvet mirrored honeymoon beds the area is known for, 6 years ago we decided to take off for the mountains and spend Christmas there.

I booked a week at an amazing place, full of atmosphere. ( Think the Overlook Hotel in Stephen King’s The Shining, minus Jack, his ax and the twins )

It was old, built of stone, and so huge I couldn’t get a photo of it in one shot.

It was an old resort like you see in the movie Dirty Dancing. Rich people would escape summer in the city and live here for months. It had multiple dining facilities, a spa, a theater, game rooms, multiple bars, a library, a stable and even its own post office… complete with a personal hotel zip code.

The best (read weird) part? We had the entire place to ourselves.

I’m not kidding, we were there for a week and didn’t see another guest until Christmas Day. Talk about eerie.

And while the interior of this grand old dame was impressive…

It was beyond strange being the only inhabitants.

Have you ever eaten dinner by yourself in a dining room that seats 400?

Or breakfast in a room that seats 300?

Trust me, it’s a little creepy.

Thankfully we weren’t murdered in our bed, but in retrospect the odd accommodations turned out to be the highlight of the trip.

For a full week we toured the area and never found anything the least bit scenic. Rows of strip malls, trash lined roads and extremely tacky “family fun resorts”?

There were plenty of those. And in true “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em… we’re going to have a good time if it kills us” fashion… we bar hopped every tacky resort we could find.