Tag Archives: travel

Products no one needs.

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Correct me if I’m wrong…

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But that has got to be the worst product ever invented. If you want to see me in a homicidal rage? Watch me chase a screaming alarm clock down the hall with a baseball bat at 4:00am.

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Do I need to wrap myself in a life size tortilla?

No. I really don’t.

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A foot hammock.

Because those pillowed neck rolls people wear on airplanes aren’t ridiculous enough.

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Why in the world would I pay for an implement that gives me the hairdo I spend all morning trying to get rid of?

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Read my lips…

I neither have an inner mermaid, nor do I need to find one.

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This.

Because the government doesn’t eat enough of our money as it is.

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Pandemic humor.

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Because if I don’t laugh, I’ll hurt someone.

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Proof there’s a silver lining to every cloud.

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I’m not there… yet.

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This, above anything else, is what I miss. Our plans of retiring and traveling extensively this year went right down the drain.

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Whew. Glad I made the cut…

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I wouldn’t doubt it.

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Some people just shouldn’t shake their groove thing. Ever.

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Better living through science? I rest my case.

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Building a snowman?

Very 2019.

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Gifts for the booze hounds in your life.

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Christmas is right around the corner and you need a gift for that certain tipsy someone. Allow me to put forth a few suggestions…

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40 bottles should satisfy even the most hardcore wino on your list.

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Wine on the go? It’s definitely an upgrade from that brown paper bagged Manischewitz and Boones Farm you drank as a teenager.

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Because who among us hasn’t lost a perfectly good glass of the grape in the grass?

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Sipping while dipping?

Sign me up.

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I’ve actually tried these, they’re brilliant.

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I’m so down with this. A carry on margarita is a beautiful thing.

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This looks like an intriguing way to chill your beer.

And they can double as drum sticks when Back in Black comes on the radio. A win win.

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More pandemic chuckles.

 

Because if you don’t laugh, you’ll scream.

 

 

That’s the very definition of symmetry.

 

 

I can relate to this.

My bags are lonely… as well as heartbroken.

 

 

I’m not a religious person, but first plague…. now insects.

It’s mildly convincing, but I’m still holding out for water into wine.

 

 

Finally,

A protest I can get behind.

 

 

Well that’s depressing.

 

 

Because the answer to “what’s new?” has never been more boring.

How big is big?

 

Big is a relative term.

I think my butt is big, but then I look at J Lo and Beyoncé and feel positively svelte.

So in an attempt to answer the title question..

 

 

Yes, traffic lights are that big…. which makes your go to excuse of “But I didn’t see that red light officer” a trifle lame.

Moose are this big.

 

 

This might surprise people who don’t live in Maine or Alaska, but yes. Hit one with your car and you’ll find out just how freakishly gigantic they really are.

The pyramids?

Yup.

Pretty big.

 

 

And to be honest, this picture made me cross climbing to the top of one off my travel bucket list.

And finally, for Masercot. Who has never fully gotten on board the wombat bandwagon.

There’s wombat big.

 

 

Big and beautiful.

Yes sir.

They got that right.

Pandemic humor.

 

Because we all still need a laugh.

 

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Now that’s just rude.

 

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This looks like a great idea since I always whup the husband at gin rummy and he won’t play with me anymore.

*Note to self – borrow neighbor’s rooster*

 

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I really do miss traveling.

Even if it’s just to the next town.

 

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Indeed.

 

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Yeah.

Gwyneth  (correct spelling)  can bite me.

( Did I already post this one? Maybe… but the sentiment holds true. )

 

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Cats.

They think they know everything. It happens to be tequila.

Stuff it Mittens.

 

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Jesus… neither do I!

We’re doomed.

 

 

I think I have to go there!

 

(Please try to refrain from telling me where to go, although I know it’s tempting.)

 

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Fair enough.

But since we’ve previously established my fondness for rocks…. it shouldn’t come as any surprise that I had a sudden itch to visit Spain when I saw this:

 

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A town that’s literally built into a rock?

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Oh, yes….

Hell yes!

 

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I’m in.

 

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Singular?

How about fan-fucking-tastic!

 

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Check it…

 

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These people love rocks more than I do!

 

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Is this wonderfully bizarre… or what?

 

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I totally want to go.

 

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Free air conditioning!

 

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Sign me up.

 

 

 

Wording.

 

I love to word.

I love to read them, write them, and learn them.

And I love weirdo words most of all.

When you travel you hear words unique to certain regions and words used in different contexts.

Words!

Ya gotta love them.

 

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So when I saw this the other day?

I knew I had to share.

 

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I admit I’ve been known to make use of dingleberry, dicombobulated and kerfuffle now and then…. although I’m not nearly old enough to drop whippersnapper into a conversation any time soon.

In Maine we tend to say things are wicked. As in “That margarita is wicked good”  or “That beer is wicked cold”.

We also can lose control of our cars and end up in the  puckerbrush.

Mainers say  ayuh  when we mean yes.

We call submarine sandwiches Italians.

If you’re cute? We’ll call you  cunnin’.

If something is the best? We’ll say it’s  finest kind.

If you live far away from town? That would be the willy wacks.

And if you live really far away from town? That’s  bumblefuckEgypt.

 

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So educate me.

What words do you use in your backyard?

 

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