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So what’s up with Kale… and why does everyone want me to eat it?

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(Disclaimer – I am not a kale fan, and the popular leafy green will be heavily disparaged in this post.)

 

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I’m a good girl. I eat my veggies, green and otherwise.

Yes, Popeye I even eat my spinach.

Hell, I live in Maine… I have been served dandelion green and Nasturtium bloom salad and smiled. (Although I do draw the line at Fiddleheads, those slimy aborted fern fronds people in New England go beserk for every spring. If I’m going to ingest something I pick alongside the road it had better be blackberries. Preferably in brandy form. But I digress.)

Throw a little kale in my salad, fine. I won’t revolt. (Hell, if you smother it in enough blue cheese dressing, I will eat a brick)

But please…. stop trying to incorporate it into everything else.

My girlfriend served a big bowl of kale chips with French Onion Dip at a party.  (Not cool…. bring back my Ruffled Lays.)

Another friend invited us over for an Italian dinner. Sweet! Until I saw the lasagna as well as the ravioli was stuffed with kale.  (That’s just wrong.)

 

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I do not want your kale frittata.

Your kale burgers, your kale pie….

 

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And most of all your kale pizza!

That’s just sacrilege.

 

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The kale craze has gone too far.

Okay, it’s nutritious… but enough’s enough.

From now on I’ll be flying my new banner high and proud.

 

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Long live Rocky Road!!

All hail Mint Chocolate Chip!

 

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For the love of all that’s holy….

Noooooooooo!!!!

 

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37 thoughts on “So what’s up with Kale… and why does everyone want me to eat it?”

  2. I’ve been a vegetarian for 20+ years. I LOVE eating veggies and greens. And Kale is . . . the worst green out there.

    Give me spinach, swiss chard, collards, beet greens, etc., and I’ll happily utilize them in any number of ways ~ in soups, casseroles, lo meins, as “spanakopita” topping for chips, etc.

    Give me Kale and I’ll follow that nifty Pro Tip you shared! :mrgreen:

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  4. Bacon on/with everything (yes including ice cream sundaes at Denny’s) avocado on/with everything, Kale on/with everything–I am surprised someone hasn’t come up with a bacon, avocado and kale sandwich, omelet, banana split, pizza—heck why not a Margarita–you would drink it!! LOL

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  9. I actually love Kale–but if my introvert ass comes to your shindig and there are Kale chips with the French Onion Dip, I will straight up burn that MF’er to the ground. Thanks, Susan. That Kale chip really helped to soak up the four vodka tonics I just slammed like Aunt Betty before she started her 30-day club.

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  10. I’m sorry, I like kale. I like kale salad, with parm and croutons and lemon. I put it in my peasant soup, and I totally LOVE kale chips. I don’t know why I must pay $7 for kale chips, and we can never agree on flavors, so really I spend $21 on kale chips. BUT! I Love Ice Cream and do not want kale in it. Nor would I serve kale to friends who came to a party where there should be treat food.

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      1. LOL! It maaaay be possible you’ve not been exposed to tasty kale chips. I could link you, but for $7 when you might not like them, well, you know… that’d be wrong.

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      2. No.
        And again? No!
        I have a girlfriend who is always trying to push new flavors at me saying, “Oh… but you’ll love this one.” And ya know what? I never do!

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  13. I’m posting new stuff on my other site though, laurabecknielsen.com. I’ll have to write a new kale story just to christen the new one. Nah- I’ll go with bubbly. I’m going to try to make egg benedict from scratch for the first time (OK I bought the english muffins) and I’ve got mimosa fixin’s. Birthday brunch! Spoiler alert: there will be no kale.

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  15. I love greens. I eat them with everything. Kale I have never tasted but I have tasted other fowl tasting greens and liked them in veggies where they are cooked with so many spices, you wouldn’t know them from potato. But my burger, pasta, chips and icecreams are protected from such tampering. That is, as you said, sacrilege.

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