Rise of the mammals?
What really killed the dinosaurs?
The poor bastards were eating kale.
Rise of the mammals?
What really killed the dinosaurs?
The poor bastards were eating kale.
Since I’m still trying to plow through my massive stack of magazines, I have to share.
Do we really need shoes that breathe? I don’t… but maybe that’s just me.
I’m all for alternative leather products… eucalyptus? Cool. But if they come up with kale filled seats? I’m boycotting on sheer principle.
According to this map temperatures are rising almost everywhere but it looks like me and my hot flashes are in the right place. Hang in there Maine! River melts into a puddle in anything above 75 degrees.
If you’ve never had canned brown bread you haven’t lived a full life. This is a Maine staple, made in Portland, Maine… so why this article calls it Boston brown is a mystery. Moist and filled with molasses?
Try it. Your mouth will thank me.
Dexter is coming back!
I don’t have Showtime anymore but might have to resubscribe in order to revisit my favorite serial killer.
Ghost pepper strawberry frosting?
This week’s bounty was a large one.
Tomato, squash, radishes, zucchini, beets, parsley, celery, lettuce, Italian green beans, spinach and basil.
What it didn’t have was any of the bizarre little jewels the farm advertised at their stand.
What I didn’t want was the truck I parked behind at the grocery store telling me to eat more kale.
I’m not eating any kale, and you can’t make me.
Inside the store, this item looked interesting.
I like beer.
I like butterscotch.
But then I noticed it was non alcoholic cream soda and screamed false advertising.
You shouldn’t tease customers like that. Especially during a pandemic.
You also shouldn’t display things like this:
And not expect bloggers to take pictures and chortle over how utterly wrong they look.
This week brought a nice harvest from across the road.
Fresh chives, garlic scapes, carrots, Italian green beans, tomato, radicchio, dill, radish, garlic, mesclun mix, the dreaded and totally unwanted kale…. and a monster zucchini.
Which made this picture someone posted on our local Facebook page all the funnier.
The woodchucks got the kale, and to be honest they looked less than thrilled as well.
At the grocery store this week?
What the hell happened to Triscuits?
I can’t find those, but lentil with turmeric crackers abound.
Brown rice rollers.
I might considering curling my hair with them, but as a snack?
And what fresh hell is this?
Plant based Oreos?
That’s an abomination.
This week’s offering from our CSA was a little lean on our end because there were a lot of things we don’t eat and elected to let our neighbor take.
Cilantro, bok choi, kale, turnips, spigarello, fennel, and kohlrabi? We passed.
But the chard was rainbow colored…
So there is that.
And in the continuing saga of bizarre grocery items found on my local shelves…..
Every possible mutation of pasta imaginable are still being pushed.
As is the ever present (and still disgusting) kale.
Delicious? I doubt it.
Crazy good? Not possible.
Stop the insanity and put kale back where it belongs…. in a rabbit’s colon. Other than the trash can, that’s the only proper place.
Thankfully there was one sane product line of which I took full advantage.
Let the grilling begin.
If you have predictive text on your cell phone, grab it and let’s play.
Remember The Princess Bride movie?
No, I don’t either. But apparently there’s a quotable line from the film that goes like this….
So a Facebook friend of mine tagged me to play the 2020 version.
Start texting My name is…..
You killed my….
And let predictive text do the rest.
My name is not the big barn. ( seriously, that’s what I got! )
You killed my husband and he didn’t even know. ( it’s true he’s not very observant, but still. )
Prepare to be a little more than the kale. ( I seriously hope I’m a lot more than that foul weed. )
Not kidding, that’s what it said.
Apparently my iPhone is freakishly tuned in to my life.
Which if I stopped laughing, might make me a little worried.
Especially if he’s your neighbor.
Across the road from our house is a ( 65 acre?) family owned and operated certified organic vegetable farm.
We love our neighbors. They’re alternative lifestyle vegans, and tend to do things a little differently….. which has made for wonderful blog fodder over the years.
How differently do they do things you ask.
Here’s a picture of my husband taken a few years ago. He was starting to put a roof on the chicken coop that had been turned into a farmhand’s cabin.
Yes…. that’s a hot water heater up in the tree behind him.
Isn’t that where you put yours?
Fast forward 6 years and the farm has grown by leaps and bounds. Expanded cultivation, multiple greenhouses, migrant workers, a new wife, 2 more children….
Our neighbor has earned a stellar reputation among the expensive Old Port restaurants and did most of his business with them…. until the Corona virus shut everything down.
It was literally do or die for the farm, and in desperation the family opened a farm stand on their property. It’s doing well, but can never make up for the market they lost.
So they’ve also brought back their CSA (community supported agriculture). Not sure if you have this where you live, but it’s become very popular in Maine.
The following is a heartfelt plea they sent to our town and an explanation of how it works if you’re interested.
Which were almost too beautiful to eat.
My slightly twisted, but delightfully so, friend Masercot has just nominated me for this:
For which I will be
sticking pins in a doll of his likeness and waiting for parts of him to drop off eternally grateful.
You know the drill, I have to answer questions.
Thankfully… because he’s twisted, this won’t be the hardship it normally is.
If you could choose any historical figure to hold your hair out of the toilet while you drunkenly vomit at a party, who would it be and why?
I’m going to have to go with Lord Byron. The man drank his liquor out of a cup made from a human skull. You have to admire that kind of commitment.
If you HAD to own a pet and it couldn’t be a dog or a cat, to what country would you flee to escape such a fascist regime. Remember that “Canada” is not an acceptable answer.
Australia…. where my dream pet wombats roam free.
What is your favorite, currently active, credit card number?
Nice try. But you know my only form of currency is tequila. If I can’t buy it with a perfectly mixed margarita? I don’t need it.
You’ve been told you will be allowed to join Trump’s Space Force if you sleep with a Marx Brother and Zeppo is not available. Which do you sleep with and why?
Can’t we just jettison Trump into space and call it good?
If you had to recommend an illegal drug to the youth of America, which drug would it be and how?
Blogging. It’s horribly addicting…. but so satisfying.
Do you think pound cake is overrated?
Only if it weighs 14 ounces.
Do you like Aquaman’s new look or do you prefer the blonde hair and tights?
I actually sat through the entire new Aquaman movie. Sober. Need I say more?
In keeping with tradition (and not because I want to force my friends to share the misery that are these never ending awards) I shall post the rules.
Display the award logo
Thank the blogger who nominated you and post a link to their blog
Answer the questions of the one who nominated you
Nominate some bloggers
Ask them seven questions
I will now gleefully nominate:
James because I had to sit through an entire months worth of Star Wars posts and he owes me.
liveandletthai since he’s always whining not enough people read his blog and just discovered he can make alcohol from dried hibiscus blossoms. You never know when that will come in handy.
clevergirlwrites she’s clever, and a girl. We need to stick together.
Boo because we’ve been blog friends a long time and I like to harass her long distance.
swingedcat he makes me laugh and posts bison photos. Friends like that are harder to find than you think.
Would any of you be willing to let a slightly pissed off red squirrel and her children rent a room? The sooner the better, I’m getting hateful looks.
If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner/significant other/blow up girlfriend what would it be, and why?
Can you talk me into eating kale in 50 words or less? I know you can’t, but it will be fun to see you try.
You win an all expense paid trip for two to Antarctica, do you bring a Kardashian or Caitlyn Jenner?
By some strange twist of fate, you’re elected President of the United States in 2020. What’s your first executive order?
And finally, if you’ve made it this far…. why do bloggers feel compelled to keep this award thing going when none of us really like them?
You mean I didn’t have to?
Sure, now you tell me.
I think we’ve established I won’t eat it.
I’m not eating the kale chips.
I’m not drinking the kale smoothies….
This is a bridge too far.
Now you want me to wash my hair with it?
Damn…. and here I was looking forward to lathering up with a nice chunk of fat back.
This is a kale free household and it’s going to stay that way!
Unless it’s in a rent by the hour hot sheet motel? I don’t think anyone needs their bed to vibrate.
If I’m not willing to eat kale? ( and I think we’ve established I’d rather have my toenails ripped off by a hungry wombat ) I doubt I’ll be spreading it on my face any time soon.
Well this is ridiculous.
Leftover chocolate. What’s that?
Proof positive there are a limitless number of kitchen gadgets waiting to collect dust in your cabinet.
Move over avocado hugger and ice cream ball. Spaetzle maker is in da house.
I have no idea if this works or not, but may I just say?
When I first saw this I thought… nope, I’ll pass on the motivational self help crap.
Until I realized it could be filled with G&T’s or margaritas.
1:00pm took on a whole new meaning then.