Tag Archives: kale

I bet you didn’t know….

 

Flying fish and Coo Coo is the national dish of Barbados.

 

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But I did, because….

 

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Did you know….

When CBS broadcast the first ever color television show they were the only ones who actually owned a color television?

 

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Did you know…

The Egyptian hieroglyph for one hundred thousand is a tadpole?

Kind of makes you wonder what they were counting…

 

 

Did you know…

A snallygaster is a mythical dragon like beast that supposedly haunts rural Maryland?

And all this time I thought it was just David Hasslehoff.

 

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Did you know…

Lachanophobia is the fear of vegetables?

Like kale.

That shit is everywhere.

 

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Did you know…

Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew named Cuitlahac?

Roughly translated Cuitlahac means “plenty of excrement”.

Clearly Monty’s sister had a sense of humor.

 

 

Did you know…

In Japan, robots pay union dues.

Which answers the age old age question…

Who killed Jimmy Hoffa?

 

I can’t say I’m surprised.

 

Burger King?

Not a fan.

 

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So I wasn’t surprised to hear that their new meatless burger…

 

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Tasted the same as their original beef burger.

Hell, as far as I’m concerned the original doesn’t taste like meat either.

 

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But here’s the thing…

If you’re eating a burger?

Please, for the love of all that’s holy….

Eat a burger!

 

 

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No….

A burger means beef, bison… or if you have to be difficult, turkey.

 

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Not heme.

 

 

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A soybean root cheeseburger?

Christ….

You might as well be eating kale.

 

 

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So what’s up with Kale… and why does everyone want me to eat it?

 

(Disclaimer – I am not a kale fan, and the popular leafy green will be heavily disparaged in this post.)

 

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I’m a good girl. I eat my veggies, green and otherwise.

Yes, Popeye I even eat my spinach.

Hell, I live in Maine… I have been served dandelion green and Nasturtium bloom salad and smiled. (Although I do draw the line at Fiddleheads, those slimy aborted fern fronds people in New England go beserk for every spring. If I’m going to ingest something I pick alongside the road it had better be blackberries. Preferably in brandy form. But I digress.)

Throw a little kale in my salad, fine. I won’t revolt. (Hell, if you smother it in enough blue cheese dressing I might not even notice)

But please… for the sake of all that’s holy…. stop trying to incorporate it into everything else.

My girlfriend served a big bowl of kale chips with French Onion Dip at a party.  (Not cool…. bring back my Ruffled Lays.)

Another friend invited us over for an Italian dinner. Sweet! Until I saw the lasagna as well as the ravioli was stuffed with kale.  (That’s just wrong.)

 

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I do not want your kale frittata.

Your kale burgers, your kale pie….

 

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And most of all your kale pizza!

That’s just sacrilege.

 

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The kale craze has gone too far.

Okay, it’s nutritious… but enough’s enough.

From now on I’ll be flying my new banner high and proud.

 

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Long live Rocky Road!!

All hail Mint Chocolate Chip!

 

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Noooooooooo!!!!

 

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