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Moronic Maps

42 Comments

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Because we all need something else to grumble about today.

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Rumford is a distressed old mill town. It’s definitely depressing, so I won’t argue with that one.

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On behalf of all Mainers, thank you.

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Looks like eastern Canadians are the least murderous, and we’re right behind them.

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This is very true. Favorite fishing spots in Maine are passed down from generation to generation.

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I call foul on this one. We’re close to Vermont where cheddar rules and no lousy processed slice of American will top that.

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How do you live in places with these names and not laugh… or cringe?

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Our neighbor grows spinach on his farm in this seaport state. I may have to lodge a protest…

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Huh?

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Now I’ve officially heard everything.

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42 thoughts on “Moronic Maps”

  2. I’ll go with ridiculous!!
    When River was born what did her mom say?
    Well, actually just before she was born…. she was in so much pain, but smiling and she said,♫♫ “I’m Gonna Cry Me a River”♫♫

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  6. 1) Charlie Berens (host of the “Manitowoc Minute”) might object to the first map.
    2) Unless I read the colors wrong, parking spots are sacred in a LOT of states and NO ONE cares about barbecue.
    3) Velveeta is NOT cheese.
    4) Spinach is not nearly as rare as the mapmaker would make you think – and with all of the Great Lakes shipwrecks, Popeye could be up there.

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    2. You can have them both. 😉

      Seriously, it’s such a big state, it might as well be two states stuck together. Things that happen in Los Angeles County are almost like events in a foreign country to people in, say, Yolo County where I went to school. The north has more water, more rural wooded areas, cooler temperatures (at least on the coast). Some parts resemble New England and were settled by emigrants from places like Maine and Rhode Island.

      Modesto like Bakersfield is an old farm town that became semi industrialized, like not enough to provide employment or investment to make the area wealthier, but enough to make it uglier. They’re both dry, hot and have impoverished public schools and services. They regularly get passed over when state and federal agencies hand out cash for improvements. Bakersfield was also the last place I heard someone call me a “j*p,” so I don’t waste my sympathy on them.

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      1. I agree that they both suck! Bakersfield had (has?) a McDonalds test -trial restaurant just off the freeway on Ming Street. I know we stopped often on vacay but I don’t remember the food, only the kids cowboy saddle seats along the mail aisle.
        I know Visalia is part of that area but it’s home to Cats House on Kings Rd, so it gets a pass.

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      2. My sister lives in Visalia now and hates it! But it was her and her husband’s choice to move down there because they wanted a “second act” career as farmers. As much as I love raising plants and animals, I would never choose farming as a retirement hobby. The likelihood of getting injured is high and they’re shutting down the hospitals in rural counties. I suppose one could go to Fresno for medical care, but if you’re old and had a stroke or cardiac event, an hour long ambulance ride isn’t going to help.

        Bakersfield, I think it was an oil field for a while, and it’s still a trucking hub. But I don’t get why anyone would choose to live there. My husband had a great aunt who married a truck mechanic and moved there; after he died, she was essentially alone with no family or friends there. She said she wanted to move back to Minnesota but didn’t have the money and hinted we could help her. But she disappeared after that; we think she died and no one bothered to contact her relatives ‘back home.’

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      3. I was born on Castle Air Force Base in Merced, and my godparents lived there all their lives, so I’m very familiar with the hell of those areas, inc Visalia. While I have no particular memory of Visalia, my high school “psuedo brother” moved there to be a pig farmer. To me, that says all that I need to know!

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  9. I have been to Scranton and can vouch for the fact it is far from the worst city in Pennsylvania. Clearly, the map person is not a “The Office” person. Dunder Mifflin rules. I have also been to Intercourse and can vouch for that…fact.😁

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  13. I don’t agree with Wilmington being the worst city in Delware, we vacationed there in the spring, stayed in a great hotel with topnotch service and visited 2 very cool art museums.

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  17. Popeye EATS spinach. He doesn’t grow it, he’s a sailor man!

    Why did CA get 2 worst cities but only 1 of everything else? ?!? Granted, they’re near each other and both pretty much suck.

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