Have you heard of Goop?
Until recently the only one I knew about was this:

And honestly?
I wish to Hell it had stayed that way.
But no… a friend of mine had to start waxing poetic about the company Gwyneth Paltrow started. Not caring much about self help websites or Gwyneth Paltrow, I was politely zoning out…. until she mentioned something she thought I just had to buy.

Yes.
It’s for real. Though why in the world she thought I needed one I have no clue.

If can someone tell me why geranium, bergamot, cedar and rose smell like a vagina…. I’ll be forever in your debt.
And if that wasn’t ridiculous enough?
There’s this:

Now I like jade as much as the next girl, but…. no.

No, I don’t like jade that much.
I admit the instructions made me snort…
But I seriously doubt I’ll be searching for a sacred space to store one anytime soon.