Tag Archives: products

Stupid cat products.

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It seems there’s no end to the ridiculous things you can buy for your pet.

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A privacy screen?

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Cats are a lot of things… smart, manipulative, stealthy, lovable. But the one thing they’re not? Easily embarrassed by bodily functions.

Does Lord Dudley Mountcatten need a privacy screen to hide behind while doing his business?

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You be the judge.

Cats. They have no shame.

Moving on….

Lots of people tell me I need to add perches to my windows… and while that might seem like a good idea?

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Over the kitchen sink has got to be the stupidest placement ever.

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This next product must have been invented by a moron. Seriously….

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If I left that on the counter? His Lordship would be sliding those levers to the left every chance he got.

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Madison Avenue run amok.

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Whatever happened to plop plop fizz fizz… or snap crackle and pop? These days it seems like it’s all ball wash or dead hoohaas.

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My Whoopee is right where it needs to be thank you very much.

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They did not just say that!

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Good grief, do they even prescribe that anymore?

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Here’s hoping your hoohaa is in good health and not in need of such products.

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How could I not?

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I saw this ad a while back and knew I had to try it.

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I mean really, how could I resist?

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Though despite the name, I won’t be rubbing it on my bum.

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I have no earthly idea what cupuacu butter is….

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But the fact that the cream is actually pronounced ‘boom boom’… makes it worth the risk.

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I’m not loving or flaunting what I’ve got. Nope. Not for years, there’s just too much of it now.

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But this stuff is rich, delightfully creamy and smells absolutely fabulous. The scent is almost strong enough to wear as a light perfume. And if the guarana wants to tighten my thighs? Who am I to argue.

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If it could do something about my hot flashing red cheeks? I’d buy it by the barrel.

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Cat-astrophic products.

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I have a cat, therefor I am inundated with stupid cat product advertisements.

This week?

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Cat capped aviators may look stupid, but at least they’re well read.

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I am not yet at the time of life where I need to sit on a donut. And a smiling cat donut? I hope I’m never there…

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For the love of all that’s holy, no. I can’t think of a more horrifying, undignified, soul sucking experience to force upon your feline than a taco costume.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten agrees…. and will shred any human who comes near him with that abomination.

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Things I’ll never need.

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I can honestly say I will never need a Russian pickle puff.

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But I suppose it’s good to know they exist all the same.

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Shark slippers? I’m sure they’re great for scaring the crap out of sand crabs, but no.

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Do I need to drink my cocktails out of a bird’s ass?

I most assuredly do not.

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And if I don’t need a bird ass cocktail delivery system? I certainly don’t need an egg laying one. Trust me, this will not relieve my stress.

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It’s like they built this store just for me.

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Sometimes Facebook gets it right.

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Like this store… that seems to be targeted to my sense of humor.

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Not always, but maybe. Alright… more than likely it is.

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Sounds like something I would do.

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I have an abundant supply, no problem.

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I’m definitely not. Remind me to tell you the story about my husband’s friend who called him at work to tell him to ‘get his wife under control’. Ha! As if.

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That’s me.

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Someday I’m going to have to buy one of these. It’s my favorite tag line and I’ve been searching for cocktail napkins with that phrase ever since we built the man cave bar…. to no avail.

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Raise your hand if you want a robot in your toilet.

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No, I’m not kidding. And yes, I wish I was.

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Because even though I don’t enjoy elbow deep scrubbing in the commode, I’m not sure I want it roboticized either.

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Electrolyzed water? Why am I having visions of Victor Frankenstein…

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And while I’d love to be delighted by my bathroom… I seriously doubt sitting fully clothed in the tub blowing bubbles would be high on my list.

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Forget toilet paper.

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There’s a new product shortage right around the corner.

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Yes, it’s true.

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So if you’re hard up for cash? Start digging through your car’s glove compartment for the ketchup you threw in there during your road trip to see the world’s largest ball of twine back in ‘04. That stuff is gold!

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Because the price gouging has begun.

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In reality I guess it makes a perverse type of sense.

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20 packets for $50 doesn’t seem like a bargain to me.

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But in a few months, maybe it will be.

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I’m a sucker for fruit.

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I love fruit! I love it on my plate, I love it in my drinks and now I’m hoping to love it on my face.

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Enter some highly recommended moisturizer.

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Have you noticed this new trend in packaging? Cute little welcome notes whenever you open a box. Sorry folks, but I’m neither glowing nor part of your gang. (I’m currently picturing juvenile delinquent bananas with their peels undone standing on a street corner, smoking a cigarette and snarling at passers by.)

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Banana soufflé for your face, how bad could it be? They want you to add pineapple serum if you’re looking dull. Heck… if you add a little rum, my skin will perk right up. Guaranteed!

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I admit I was a tad disappointed with the minuscule size of this product. I mean come on, it’s made from bananas. It’s not like they’re rare.

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Vegan and cruelty free is great, but stating you’re free of sulfates and silicons on top of a list of chemicals I can barely pronounce doesn’t exactly scream natural.

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