Tag Archives: products

Things I don’t need to buy.

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In Facebook’s ongoing quest to entice me to buy something, I give you this week’s selections.

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I’ve been known to have a random cocktail from time to time. On special occasions. Like Tuesdays. But what I won’t be having again is Absinthe. It’s never been my liquor of choice but a few years ago on a bar crawl vacation in Vermont, we stumbled into a prohibition style den of iniquity pub. Do I remember the name of the establishment or the town in which it resided? No. Because after the devil bartender served me 3 pretty green but oh so deadly Absinthe concoctions I was lucky to remember my own name. Nice try Facebook, but I’ll pass.

Remember how a few of the past product recommendations reminded me of things found in a sado-masochist’s closet… even though they weren’t?

Well, this week it’s a little harder to find the innocent reason for your purchase. Try mountain climbing in this…

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And finally there’s something really ridiculous that proves Facebook isn’t paying close enough attention. We have a man cave… with a full bar.

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A bounce house Irish pub would just be a squirrel attracting redundancy.

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Things I won’t be buying today.

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Do I need to research Lord Dudley Mountcatten’s family tree?

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I do not. But kudos to the marketing genius who came up with this. I’m sure they’re making a fortune.

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I do happen to be a Rolling Stones fan, RIP Charlie Watts, but that’s a big no on the lips and tongue bottle of whiskey.

And on further examination? It’s a good thing I don’t want to add one to the man cave bar.

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65,000 euro? Holy guacamole Batman… that’s a seriously pricey sip!

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Stupid cat products.

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It seems there’s no end to the ridiculous things you can buy for your pet.

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A privacy screen?

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Cats are a lot of things… smart, manipulative, stealthy, lovable. But the one thing they’re not? Easily embarrassed by bodily functions.

Does Lord Dudley Mountcatten need a privacy screen to hide behind while doing his business?

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You be the judge.

Cats. They have no shame.

Moving on….

Lots of people tell me I need to add perches to my windows… and while that might seem like a good idea?

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Over the kitchen sink has got to be the stupidest placement ever.

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This next product must have been invented by a moron. Seriously….

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If I left that on the counter? His Lordship would be sliding those levers to the left every chance he got.

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Madison Avenue run amok.

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Whatever happened to plop plop fizz fizz… or snap crackle and pop? These days it seems like it’s all ball wash or dead hoohaas.

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My Whoopee is right where it needs to be thank you very much.

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They did not just say that!

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Good grief, do they even prescribe that anymore?

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Here’s hoping your hoohaa is in good health and not in need of such products.

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How could I not?

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I saw this ad a while back and knew I had to try it.

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I mean really, how could I resist?

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Though despite the name, I won’t be rubbing it on my bum.

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I have no earthly idea what cupuacu butter is….

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But the fact that the cream is actually pronounced ‘boom boom’… makes it worth the risk.

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I’m not loving or flaunting what I’ve got. Nope. Not for years, there’s just too much of it now.

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But this stuff is rich, delightfully creamy and smells absolutely fabulous. The scent is almost strong enough to wear as a light perfume. And if the guarana wants to tighten my thighs? Who am I to argue.

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If it could do something about my hot flashing red cheeks? I’d buy it by the barrel.

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Cat-astrophic products.

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I have a cat, therefor I am inundated with stupid cat product advertisements.

This week?

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Cat capped aviators may look stupid, but at least they’re well read.

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I am not yet at the time of life where I need to sit on a donut. And a smiling cat donut? I hope I’m never there…

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For the love of all that’s holy, no. I can’t think of a more horrifying, undignified, soul sucking experience to force upon your feline than a taco costume.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten agrees…. and will shred any human who comes near him with that abomination.

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