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Crayons and coloring books. The quintessential accessories of an innocent childhood.
Or not.
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I ask you, does anyone really need Penis Pump Periwinkle?
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This has got to be one of the weirdest things I’ve seen in a while… and I just posted about the Poop Strap.
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Everything is a dildo? I beg to differ….
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Anal Bleach Apricot?
I never colored my fruit trees with that when I was young.
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The definition of the word palooza is as follows:
The art of throwing a very drunken extravagent party with a plethora of friends. Whoever is throwing the palooza usually adds their name as a prefix to the word …
So when I saw this advertisement the other day? I called foul.
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There’s simply no room for a plethora of anything between those little strings.
Heck, even using the word panty is stretching it.
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In my continued attempt to cover my readers in sartorial splendor, I bring you the Overgrown shoe.
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For those days when you’re feeling a little grassy and unkept.
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Because dressing with dirt must be trending.
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A special shoebox? Well damn, that should seal the deal.
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Heck, you’ll never need these things…. who am I kidding.
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This is such a stupid useless item, the only thing they could think to put on it is plastic Easter eggs.
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Even the cat is unpleased by this idea.
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Huh?
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I’m glad they showed someone demonstrating this ridiculous product. The fact that’s she’s feeding brass geese adds to the authenticity.
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And just in case you need a larger pot, because sometimes size matters…
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😳
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Looking for a different topper for your Christmas tree this year?
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How about the Abominable ( but quite cute ) Snowman.
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Can’t say I’m crazy about letting him climb the tree at will….
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But he does make a great addition to that gift of champagne.
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How’s that for a shift in topic? (Spellcheck just changed ‘for’ to ‘fur’. I am not amused.)
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And I thought stupid ad campaigns couldn’t get any stranger.
In other news, we had lunch at a pub the other day called The Depot. It was loud, dark and though our meal was decent, I can’t say I’m in any hurry to go back.
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Especially if I’m in the mood for a Caesar salad.
🤣
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Why is everyone so obsessed with poop these days?
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How bad do you have to be to find one of those in your Christmas stocking?
Yes, the classic emoji has its uses …
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But does it need to be flung in a mini slingshot? No. Even with the added incentive of 3 free flying feces.
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Thanks for clearing up the fake versus real controversy. Those outstretched arms and googly eyes might have come from Uncle Harold’s commode. He always was an odd duck.
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I’m going to go out on a limb and say English is not the ad copy writer’s first language. But hey… poop is universal.
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My Facebook and Apple News algorithms are always coming up with ridiculous products they think I need to purchase.
I’m passing on all three of these.
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#1…. Swimsuit season is not approaching quickly in Maine, unless you count the Polar Bear plunge in February and I’ve never be crazy enough to do that.
#2…. My derrière is awake as it’s ever going to get. No caffeinated butt cream required. 
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No.
Just… no.
While I spoil Lord Dudley Mountcatten far more than my husband thinks I should, even I have limits.
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Do I want to carry around a 28 ounce gelatinous pouch of my own urine? I most assuredly do not.
Also, I spent my teenage years on an island in Maine where there were no public restrooms. I’m completely familiar with pissing in the woods if necessary.
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I used to love shopping at Victoria’s Secret when I was younger, not to mention thinner. They always had beautifully sensuous lingerie and a nice selection of comfy pajamas in wonderfully soft fabrics.
Now that I’m a menopausal woman of a certain age, my desire for the secrets of Victoria have waned and I haven’t visited one of the stores in at least a decade.
This is probably why their ad on my Facebook page came as a bit of a surprise. And from the look of the items they’re offering now? I’m actually glad to be 58.
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Seriously, who the Hell would wear this? In my opinion it’s not the least bit attractive, no less sexy. And damn, for $1.98’s worth of electrical tape you could pretty much make one at home.
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And speaking of tape…
🤣
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Some things naturally go together. Cookies and milk? Of course. Macaroni and cheese? You know it. Gin and tonic? I’ll bring the limes, cheers!
But fast food and shoes?
No.
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Clearly Madison Avenue was on a 6 martini lunch that day.
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And if that’s not stupid enough?
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Crocs – Ugliest. Shoe. Ever.
And I live in Maine, home of the L.L. Bean boot.
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KFC Crocs?
For the love of God, why.
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Facebook is always trying to sell me something. And since it depends on algorithms to choose the items … I have to wonder why it thinks I need organic underwear.
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A free range bra? That’s an oxymoron if ever I’ve heard one.
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High impact? Exactly how much impact do they think my girls experience…
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My car seats do not need a body guard. If I’m man enough to spill a drink while driving? They should just man up and take it.
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Okay, they’ve got me here.
Those are adorable.
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River's world..... 