Tag Archives: marketing

They keep on coming.

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Because the ball wash ads weren’t bad enough.

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Now I’m seeing this on my Facebook feed.

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Butt incense and polite bacteria?

Sorry, I find them both rude.

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Oh, look. Bright colors and assorted flavors.

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My privates do indeed go everywhere I go (except my uterus which I left at the hospital 5 years ago) but they will continue to go without butt incense for the foreseeable future.

Of this I’m sure.

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Natural?

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I’m all about trying new household products.

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A natural grapefruit scented cleaner? With a pamplemousse translation?

Bring it!

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Okay, no unicorns is a tad disappointing… but it smelled great and worked quite well.

Until the day I used it to wipe down our smooth surface stovetop and then turned on a burner.

Holy craparoni! The lovely fruity smell went from delightful wafts of citrus to noxious room clearing fumes in no time flat.

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And upon further examination the oh so natural ingredients were anything but.

I read sodium gluconate is derived from plants, but it doesn’t sound like I’m going to be picking it off a tree in a pesticide free orchard anytime soon. Turns out it’s the sodium salt of gluconic acid.

Blech!

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Admit it, you want these.

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I mean, really. Who wouldn’t?

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A wiener beverage is a beautiful thing.

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Who knew pricks were so helpful?

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I’ve been seeing a lot of the next type of item recently.

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If someone could explain the current fascination with unicorn bodily functions to me, that would be swell.

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Mixed tapes?

Someone needs to set Marty McFly’s dial to the 21rst Century.

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First it was cat butts, now Corgi.

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The world really has gone mad.

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Products no one needs.

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My only question is why anyone makes these things in the first place.

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I prefer my clams in chowder with heavy cream thank you very much.

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Oh, hell no. I can only drink if the BeeGees are playing?

Trust me, if the BeeGees are playing…. I’ll need more not less.

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I’m sorry, but they don’t. Less really is more.

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While this is rather cute? It’s also a great way to take out an eye. Weaponized mallows are over the top, even for me.

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No. Aside from the fact the packaging seems to be marketed for 6 year old girls…

I refuse to wear a perfume named Juicy Bunny on sheer principle.

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Products no one needs.

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While I’m all for pampering and spoiling our pets..

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No.

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Just, no.

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Bowzer’s manicure should not look better than mine… and look, even the dog hates it.

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I want to know who looked at their cat’s ass one afternoon and thought, ” Hey, that will make a great coloring book”.

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Mr. Whiskers is not amused.

And lastly, proof positive more isn’t always good… it’s just more.

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Hell, I think I’m slipping into diabetic coma just looking at that.

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Products I think I have to buy.

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For blog fodder research purposes if nothing else.

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I’m guessing they meant to say bad mood, but either way …. a screaming goat seems like the perfect companion to ride out the rest of this abominable year.

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A book of delightful goat facts? Perfect.

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Screaming goat placement is everything.

And hey, when you already have a flying poop drone…. a screaming goat doesn’t even raise eyebrows.

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The other product I might have to buy?

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A carbonated bubbling face mask?

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Show of hands…. how many people want to see that selfie?

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