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Because stupid news is as good a way as any to start the week.

..

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No, the magic material isn’t poo, it’s volcanic ash.

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Um, I beg to differ. Any amount of heavy metal in tampons is too damn much .

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Arsenic tampons.

I’ve never been so glad to be menopausal as I am right now.

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You’ll excuse me if I don’t shed any tears for people who are suffering from that horrible affliction of too much profit.

😡

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I know they’ve survived.

Every time my husband tells me…. you sound just like your mother.

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I like fashion as much as the next gal, but homicidal pants is a hard pass.

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Now that’s what I call a bell clanger!

🤣

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Always useless.

Always abundant.

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And that fish in particular.

He must have some really bad neighbors.

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Thanks.

But I’d rather not…

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If it’s all the same to you? I’d rather not meet him either.

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I know I drove my drivers ed instructor nuts, but at least he didn’t bail out on I-95.

Yikes.

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This was a huge local story.

And so damn cute!

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And some that doesn’t bear thinking about.

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Yeah.

Like that.

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I think I’m doomed.

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Well, damn.

It’s going to be an itchy summer.

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If it means being able to escape the endless political news my husband has on 24 hours a day? That might be worth it.

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Gulliver’s Travels fungus?

Interesting.

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Way to go grandma.

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As one does.

🥴

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Seriously.

No one can.

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Good grief.

Most men don’t know what to do with one.

😈

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I think I’m more concerned with how they get out.

😳

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And they’re just telling me now?

Damn. That would have been tv worth watching.

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Honey badger don’t play.

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You have to appreciate that level of commitment.

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I’m sure it was wonderful… but I’m guessing a tad over priced.

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You can’t use it, but read it anyway.

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Now there’s an odd couple I wouldn’t have put together.

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I knew that robin in our backyard looked too happy the other day…

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What?

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Have you priced a decent bra these days? If it can’t hold my girls for more than a year… I’m not buying it.

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I don’t see why not.

My husband had one as a pet when he was a teenager. They’re delightful.

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I think we all know the answer to that.

Not unless there’s fresh tuna involved.

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Nope.

I don’t need to know anything more about testicles than I already do.

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Not today.

Not ever.

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If I looked like that? I think death would be preferable.

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Because someone is peeing in it.

I recently read an article that said 62% of people urinate in the shower. I don’t, never have and never will… but that’s a high percentage. Clearly someone is.

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See?

I told you.

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Worst.

Vacation.

Ever.

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Why does everything in Australia want to kill you?

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Bad enough the Aussies have the most deadly snakes and spiders, but now the trees are out to get you.

Damn.

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That you’re an idiot.

But wait, there’s more.

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Proof that mom’s advice to keep your hands out of your pants wasn’t always spot on.

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Get yours today!

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Which is more than I really need to know.

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The very definition of useless, right here.

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Bet you didn’t think you’d be reading about that when you woke up this morning.

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Damn. I’ve had dates that were hard to get rid of, but this guy takes the cake.

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I’ve felt that way ever since Trump was elected.

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To which I say…

It’s about time.

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Have you ever heard of/tried Bubs?

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Never fear, I just ordered a 4 pack and will report back after arrival.

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There’s a mental image I didn’t need.

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While I don’t usually post politically charged content, this seemed like a potent statement on our current climate.

🤣

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Useless but (hopefully) entertaining. That’s my blog in a nutshell.

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Say what?

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I don’t call being two inches tall and looking exactly like a mouse normal for a human child, but what do I know?

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Mine is clearly an extra…. for when my front two wear out from excessive rolling.

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Leave it to a no nonsense Mainer. Angus King wants Medicare to pay for $12 bath mats for seniors so they won’t slip in the shower and break a hip. A simple and cheap solution, so naturally the government won’t go for it.

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I know nothing about the history of the pubic wig. And I plan on keeping it that way.

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I do believe I’ve found my spirit animal.

Cheers!

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Because the news we can use is too depressing these days.

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The bad news?

Your coworkers hit a sale on cocktail sauce.

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I think the “don’t pee here!” visual for husbands is a good reason, but apparently it’s a guide for kids to make sure they clean the toilet properly.

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Just for you Mark.

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I think you know I won’t be partaking.

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Blech!

🤢

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They say it’s encroaching on people’s space, blocking views, and being noisy.

I say it’s overweight old men wearing tiny Speedos.

😳

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I guess it stands to reason. That was a lot of barbecued Brontosaurus.

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I watched The Last of Us. Massive fungal blooms munching their way across the planet makes me shudder.

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