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You can’t use it, but it’s Monday… so here we are.

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I’m sorry, is there a global sperm shortage of which I’m unaware?

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That’s a lot of Swedish meatballs.

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I won’t list them, but here are a few highlights…

Yes, It Can Actually Break.

What goes in must come out.

You’re welcome.

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Good grief. As if fake news and fake boobs aren’t artificial enough these days, now I have to wonder if my grocery store sourdough is real.

(True sourdough should only have three ingredients…. flour, water, and salt. Check the ingredients)

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I don’t know about your gut,, but if you’re substituting a cactus for toilet paper? Your tuchus isn’t going to be very pleased.

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A bit odd, but it can’t be any worse than what our gutless Congress will be pushing.

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Our President teamed up with a member of the adult industry a while back as well, though with slightly different results.

😈

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Still here, still useless.

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Trying to escape the Mar-A-Lago Moron no doubt.

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She pops pimples for a living. A stroke seems preferable…

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Just in case you were wondering.

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Denmark and Orlando seems a bizarrely random research combination .

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I couldn’t stand the original… which btw, was called Little Sh*thouse on the Clam Flats in Maine… why would I want to see the new one?

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The Last of Us.

If that doesn’t convince you, nothing will.

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A slightly disturbing way to declutter your closet.

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🤣

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Because it’s Monday and I never run out of foolishness.

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I don’t know about you, but octopus sex is something I rarely contemplate.

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Worry not dear readers, that is a map I will happily omit from my other blog series.

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Hard pass.

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I love dinosaurs, but teal T Rex leather?

No.

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Because if you can afford to own a home on the Nantucket coast? You can afford to let it slip away.

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While America is stripping rights from its humans.

It’s a crazy world.

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There are no Red Lobster restaurants in Maine, because… well, it’s Maine. We know what real lobster tastes like.

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Proof that if you work hard enough….dreams do come true.

😊

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Because the useful news is too depressing these days.

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Like my mother used to say…

It’s always the last place you look.

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Not my idea of a stylish pendant, or pin for that matter.

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Sounds like the perfect vacation spot to me.

💕

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Love it.

Going old school to deter cheating.

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Now, that… would be impressive.

As well as terrifying.

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If the average male height in America is 5’9… and you multiply that by a barnacle equivalent of 8? You get an almost 46 foot long human member.

See?

Terrifying.

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In ancient Fiji, it was crustacean shells. Can you imagine what kind of leftover food islands we’re building now?

🤢

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If it’s on my daily breakfast banana? That bowl of oatmeal just got a lot more interesting…

🤣

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This first story isn’t useful, but it definitely made me chortle.

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Yes, you read that correctly.

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I don’t know how I managed to miss Sirocco’s escapades the first time around, but rest assured I won’t allow that to happen again.

I dare you not to laugh.

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https://youtu.be/9T1vfsHYiKY?si=l5G8m1i7x9FHZBaR

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Science.

It’s a beautiful thing.

🤣

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Not soap. Not shampoo.

Not remote controls or coffee makers.

It’s towels. And apparently people are swiping them at alarming rates.

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It is a stupid song .

With stupid, annoying, nonsensical ear worm lyrics.

It’s Horse With No Name by America.

Long live the ban.

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To what…

Please don’t pee on us?

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Don’t bother, there are plenty of brainless donors in Washington DC right now.

Let the harvest begin.

😉

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It’s totally useless, as promised.

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Proof positive there’s a how to manual for everything.

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With the state of the world right now, this isn’t surprising.

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Oregon had to enlist a hawk.

Because no one wants to drown in crow poop.

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I wish he’d hurry up.

Washington is in desperate need.

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Look at that expression.

If it’s not on purpose… we should probably run.

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One, two, three…

Go!

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So much news.

So little of it useful.

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There’s only one thing I have to say about this…

Are you not entertained?

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I might have opted for a cafe chat over coffee, but okay.

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Mark… please try to contain yourself.

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Japanese barbecue sauced Spam.

Please celebrate accordingly.

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If you’re familiar with Maine real estate prices you’ll realize this is the deal of the century.

Maybe we could all pitch in and have a bloggers retreat?

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Damn.

That’s got to be a hard way to go…

😳

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Keeping you informed, even if you don’t want to be.

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Great.

Because I need one more thing to worry about.

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White bread, cheese, lettuce and Marmite?

I had a British blog friend back in the Multiply days who used to rave about Marmite. Never having tried it, he sent me a jar with the stipulation I had to video my first bite and post my review. It’s a shame the Multiply site died… seeing me gag and spit toast back onto a plate made for riveting viewing.

🤢

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Well, if a well known YouTube channel says it… it must be true.

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Which begs the question just how desperate were human women back then? He’s not exactly a looker.

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If you’ve ever seen cedar waxwings in person, you know they’re the bad boys of the bird world.

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Makes me wonder how many of you are still clutching this mortal coil or just phoning in it from the great beyond…

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It’s that time again…

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Or not at all glamorous.

Eeww.

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If I was a billionaire?

I would totally buy a dinosaur skeleton and have cocktails under my T Rex.

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If I know I’m dead?

I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

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Wombats poop cubes.

Enough said.

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No good can come from hackable vacuums.

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I’ve never wanted a robotic vacuum.

And now I really don’t want one.

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I feel you bird.

Human noise is stressing me as well.

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It’s Monday.

Buckle up…

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That’s not at all terrifying.

Nope.

😳

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Good grief.

Does everything have to be political?

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So basically it’s like every other major corporation.

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Proving even robots know when to say when.

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I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve felt embarrassed for a robot.

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So that’s where it went.

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Thank you, but I’ll think I’ll stick with the stupid version.

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