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Bringing you useless news every Monday to start your week off right. Or wrong as the case may be.

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Great… because I really need something else to worry about.

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Sound like nasty little bastards.

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I knew it!

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Where’s Pedro Pascale when you need him…

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*Note to self – research homes for sale in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.*

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Who in their right mind loves sinkholes?

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When one swallows her house, Lauren may change her mind.

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Yikes.

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I don’t know about any others, but that cat definitely hates someone.

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The only way I could stop mine is to divorce my husband.

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The clutter around here does not go unnoticed, but I love my guy too much to take those necessary steps.

😉

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It’s all useless these days, but the following are even more so.

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See?

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Seriously useless.

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I hate when that happens.

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Talk about multitasking.

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I’m noticing a trend here.

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Bit disrespectful, that.

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This is not a River approved fad.

Tiny = bad.

Full size = good.

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Because the news you can use is too depressing these days.

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He’s the devil.

I think that’s a given.

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Uh oh.

We just ordered a new one.

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Honestly, I try not to think about Elon Musk at all.

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Apparently he’s been paying some of the mothers of his children 15 million up front and $100,000 a month not to speak of them. One woman refused and gave up what amounts to $36,600,000 over 18 years to tell the truth.

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It’s evil, but we love it.

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Whaaaat?

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And now you know.

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This made me snort, but the fact that Amazon refunded her the $4,000 and let her keep the lollies tells me Junior may be doing it again.

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Not useful, but hopefully humorous.

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Me thinks the bar is pretty low for that particular award.

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This implies the people of Arklow, Ireland have been swimming with floaters for quite some time.

A subject which does not bear thinking about.

🤢

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The way America is currently being run? I fervently hope so… where do I unplug?

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Most excellent.

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This is the very epitome of useless news.

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She’s married to J.D.

How could she not?

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Use is a subjective term.

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How about… don’t.

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Geese.

You never know where they’ll show up.

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Bit noisy for nesting, but clearly she’s a Cubs fan.

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Lord, I hope not. Mine have expanded greatly post menopause.

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I’m sure you’ve all read about this genetic abomination. And while I am completely and absolutely 100 percent against rejuvenating extinct species… as a GOT lover I will say this now that’s it’s done –

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😉

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Good for her…?

🥴

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Does Artificial Intelligence require bacon treats as well?

How odd.

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Use is a relative term when it comes to news these days.

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Can someone please give that scientist the White House’s address?

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I’m not going to wax poetic about this particular headline, but should you need to know more…

https://allthatsinteresting.com/rasputin-penis

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Well, that’s disturbing.

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I just… can’t, with this man.

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Must be that can and a half of hair spray he uses because I have a little more hair than him and don’t have a problem.

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Hooters… without the hooters?

I doubt that will last.

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And it’s about time too.

Those damn penguins have been ripping us off for years.

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My husband hates that word, and hates it even more when I say it. But sometimes.. you just have to. There’s been a lot to curse about lately, so at least it’s nice to know my health will benefit.

😉

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Useless and never ending. This describes my blog site perfectly.

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That’s a very large rat.

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Way to go Carolina.

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I know airline food is bad, but how hungry do you have to be to eat beads?

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As well she should.

😡

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Trust me, if we’re talking about Trump?

It has everything to do with sucking.

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I admit to being clueless about this as well.

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What does the “Pooh” mean in Winnie The Pooh?

“ …..a book by Winnie The Pooh author AA Milne called When We Were Very Young. 

The 1924 book of poetry, which predated the Winnie The Pooh stories, contained an introduction from the author which reads: “Christopher Robin, who feeds this swan in the mornings, has given him the name of ‘Pooh.’”

“This is a very fine name for a swan, because, if you call him and he doesn’t come (which is a thing swans are good at), then you can pretend that you were just saying ‘Pooh!’ to show how little you wanted him.”

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Mystery solved.

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I completely forgot about the Hands Off rally held this past Saturday. I wanted to go, but am glad my local peeps represented with some snappy Maine-centric signs.

😊

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You can’t use it, but you love it.

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That is a definite fashion statement.

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Of course they do.

Hypocrite much?

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I don’t even know what this is, but I feel justified in answering no.

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Just because they can, doesn’t mean they should.

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I’ve used my D cups as a shelf on occasion, but never for profit.

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As robotic dogs will do.. until robotic bacon treats are invented.

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My beloved Red Sox are starting the season in true Boston form.

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I’m so proud.

🥴

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Because all the other news is insane these days.

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Note to self – do not ask a Great White to say cheese.

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I don’t know why it’s a thing, but I do know it’s one of the myriad reasons I’m not on Tik Tok.

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At this point I don’t think that qualifies as news.

Or anything new for that matter.

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Is she surprised? Even the best birth control is only 98% effective.

Do the math.

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I so need this emoji.

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A completely reasonable response.

Ice cream theft should not be tolerated.

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