.

Trust me, you really can’t.

.

.

See?

That’s the very definition of useless news.

.

.

Man, I hate when that happens.

.

.

I admit I’m out of touch enough that I had to look up what hosing glizzies even was.

.

.

I can’t imagine any drugged fueled high being worth that. .

.

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Government efficiency.

No more free Kit Kats for you!

.

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Did she?

I think the jury is still out on that one…

🥴

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I only have one thing to say.

Grow up gentlemen.

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.

It’s useless, but so am I most days.

.

.

And I thought the only thing buried in the Meadowlands swamp was dead mobsters…

Huh.

.

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$200k per…?

Not sure that’s what I’d call a deal.

.

.

And so it begins…

.

.

Self preservation is probably something we shouldn’t have taught it.

😳

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.

Hang on Texas.

Life is about to get… buggy.

.

.

I refuse to blame the Camembert…

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.

Oh good.

Something else to look forward to.

.

.

I’m hoping to run out of these. But it won’t be today…

.

.

I’ve heard of wardrobe malfunctions… but dental is a new one.

.

.

No thank you. At this stage in my reading glasses for everything life … I need bigger, not smaller.

.

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I call foul on this one.

.

.

Yes, because everyone goes to McDonald’s for the oatmeal.

.

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Water.

Come on!

.

.

I know I’m not visiting Florida anytime soon.

.

.

No, they haven’t fixed the issues that cause it. They’re just switching to black… which, when you think about it, is more death like.

.

.

Evolving into… what?

*gulp*

😳

.

.

You missed this series, admit it.

.

.

I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of, but she certainly looks pleased.

.

.

Nooooo!

Not the cheese.

😫

.

.

I paid $20 for 20 minutes with a few sleeping cats.

Capybaras on my lap and snuggling in my arms?

Sign me up!

.

.

This is the way my town has done trash pickup ever since we’ve lived here. Most places in Maine are the same. $3.50 a tag, one bag per tag.

It makes you more apt to recycle, believe me.

.

.

Is there someone up there who needs to get high…?

.

.

She was at a CBD store, and complained there were no decimal points on the machine. Perhaps she’d sampled too much product?

.

.

I don’t know about scientifically…

But from a lay person’s perspective?

I’m going with it’s happy.

.

.

And we’re back with more useless news.

.

.

What we used to think was human, turned out be AI.

Now what we think is AI is actually humans?

Stop the world, I want to get off.

.

.

Sh*t just got real.

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.

Why doesn’t this surprise me?

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Ugh.

And I’m heartbroken when I lose an earring.

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.

I’m going with… yes.

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.

I can personally attest to this one!

🤣

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Bringing you useless news every Monday to start your week off right. Or wrong as the case may be.

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Great… because I really need something else to worry about.

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Sound like nasty little bastards.

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.

I knew it!

.

.

Where’s Pedro Pascale when you need him…

.

.

*Note to self – research homes for sale in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.*

.

.

Who in their right mind loves sinkholes?

.

.

When one swallows her house, Lauren may change her mind.

.

.

Yikes.

.

.

I don’t know about any others, but that cat definitely hates someone.

.

.

The only way I could stop mine is to divorce my husband.

.

.

The clutter around here does not go unnoticed, but I love my guy too much to take those necessary steps.

😉

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.

It’s all useless these days, but the following are even more so.

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See?

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Seriously useless.

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I hate when that happens.

.

.

Talk about multitasking.

.

.

I’m noticing a trend here.

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.

Bit disrespectful, that.

.

.

This is not a River approved fad.

Tiny = bad.

Full size = good.

.

.

Because the news you can use is too depressing these days.

.

.

He’s the devil.

I think that’s a given.

.

.

Uh oh.

We just ordered a new one.

.

.

Honestly, I try not to think about Elon Musk at all.

.

.

Apparently he’s been paying some of the mothers of his children 15 million up front and $100,000 a month not to speak of them. One woman refused and gave up what amounts to $36,600,000 over 18 years to tell the truth.

.

.

It’s evil, but we love it.

.

.

Whaaaat?

.

.

And now you know.

.

.

This made me snort, but the fact that Amazon refunded her the $4,000 and let her keep the lollies tells me Junior may be doing it again.

.

.

Not useful, but hopefully humorous.

.

.

Me thinks the bar is pretty low for that particular award.

.

.

This implies the people of Arklow, Ireland have been swimming with floaters for quite some time.

A subject which does not bear thinking about.

🤢

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.

The way America is currently being run? I fervently hope so… where do I unplug?

.

.

Most excellent.

.

.

This is the very epitome of useless news.

.

.

She’s married to J.D.

How could she not?

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