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It’s another Christmas question, so try to get your jolly on.

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When I was a teenager my mother had a close friend she insisted I call aunt though we weren’t related . She was a career woman when women didn’t have careers and rose to a senior position with Time/Life. A wealthy widow with two grown sons, she was extremely intelligent and quite eccentric.

To be honest, she was loaded. Both financially and physically… the old gal liked her scotch.

Having New England roots she was also tight as a tick when it came to spending money. The electric bill could sour her mood for days and she wore clothes that were so threadbare the moths didn’t even bother nibbling. She constantly added milk to chowder to stretch it’s longevity and only went out to dinner if someone else was paying. She cut her own hair, never bought a new car and had drawers full of used tin foil. When she retired she had money enough to travel the world but chose to sit home and clip coupons, waiting for hamburger to go on sale.

But when it came to Christmas? That’s when she really outdid herself. Presents were wrapped in newspaper with leftover butcher’s twine for ribbon. She thought it was fun to give dozens of gifts and watch you squeal with delight when you opened them. Problem was … there was never anything worth squealing about. Quantity not quality made her happy.

Over the years I received toilet paper, toothpaste, tiny bars of soap and shampoo as well as plastic ice buckets. All of which she lifted from various hotel rooms. She traveled a lot for work and the woman never passed up a freebie. I had to say thank you for swizzle sticks, matchbooks and little paper umbrellas. Have you ever pretended to be over joyed with ketchup packets and those little square jelly containers? Trust me, it’s not easy.

So in answer to the question … the weirdest Xmas gift I’ve ever received?

A matching set of barf bags from TWA.

Festively wrapped in the New York Times and the envy of all my friends.

How about you?

What bizarre gifts have you received….

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