Tag Archives: christmas

The good, the bad, and the rude.

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As you know (from reading this) I am not a fan of the photo Christmas card. But this year? There were a few that made even me smile…. and in the interest of fair play I’m posting them.

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Clever people who went the extra mile this season.

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Is it wrong I’m as jealous as Hell of that fort?

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I feel you momma.

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A wee bit dark, but I get it.

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This cracked me up. The photoless photo card.

A fitting tribute to 2020.

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A bit embarrassing, that.

But along with the funny ones… there were some I found to be in bad taste.

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I’m no prude, but toilet humor at Christmas might be a bridge too far.

And this last one?

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No. Just no…

To celebrate and encourage your young daughter to flip off your friends and family?

I don’t care how rotten 2020 was, that’s not my idea of festive.

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For me? It’s a definite no.

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I recently commented on a blog friend’s post about my dislike of the ever popular photo Christmas card. After voicing my opinion, I was asked “Are you… Scrooge?” To which I answer most emphatically… no! 

But for me… the joy of the annual Christmas card exchange is knowing that someone far away, someone I may not have seen for 15 years, someone I don’t communicate with on a regular basis, took the time to sit down and think of me. To actually pick up a pen and jot down a message of holiday cheer…. in good old fashioned ink. In the virtual, digital, and (don’t get me wrong I love my tech) impersonal world in which we live? That still means something.

So when I get cards like this –

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They leave me cold. Want to include a family photo in your card? Great, I’d love to see you and your hoard of grandchildren. But not like this –

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Where I have absolutely no idea who’s who or from which loins they sprung.

Nope. You have to do more than format some photos online and stick it in an envelope with no handwritten signature or bon mots for me to feel that merry tingle.

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Old fashioned? Probably. But then I still send handwritten thank you notes like my momma taught me.

And if I’m the only one who feels this way? So be it. You do you, I’ll do me. My cards and envelopes always have been… and always will be… hand written. And if you’re lucky enough to make the cut on my ever dwindling Christmas card list (deadbeats who haven’t reciprocated in 5 years are history) you won’t get a typewritten letter detailing the mind numbing minutia of my life in the past year. (Do not get me started on those! I neither need, nor want to know the results of your step son’s colonoscopy or how great aunt Edna is dealing with those pesky cysts.) But you will get a few words from someone who thought enough of you to take the time to put pen to paper.

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*Disclaimer – the post to which I refer is this one by Swinged Cat.

And while my dislike of photo cards stands, I’d like to give him a shout out for at least going the extra mile and doing something humorous.

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What fresh Christmas Hell is this…?

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Since the husband and I usually travel for Christmas, I haven’t done decorations for years. Wreaths in the windows, a few snowflake lights on the barn and a Charlie Brown tree on the table was as much enthusiasm as I could muster this season.

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And when you’ve been married as long as we have (37 years in a few weeks) presents aren’t a big deal either. We’re lucky enough to buy what we want, when we want (and he still doesn’t know my taste in jewelry) so we took a pass on that as well.

There is however one gift that keeps on giving.

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Yes, after a prolonged absence in which I continually prayed for her earthly demise…

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She was back on Christmas Eve. Looking for a way into the house.

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And taunting me…

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The little bitch.

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So if she comes down the chimney wearing a Santa hat today? I won’t be held responsible.

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No. It most definitely is not…

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A Merry Christmas to all.

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Wherever you are and however you choose to celebrate, I hope it brings you joy. There’s been a decided lack of that this year… and I doubt I’m alone when I say I’m ready to kiss 2020 goodbye.

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Our holiday will be small and quiet, and in true 2020 fashion the only thing Santa saw fit to bring me this year was a torrential rain storm with 65 mph winds that will melt the snow, cause a power outage, and make our ceiling spout water like the Bellagio’s fountain. Good times!

But my husband and I have our health… and each other. I can’t ask for more.

So instead of boring you with some sappy Christmas post, I’ll leave you with two pictures.

1. Is it any wonder this was one of the Christmas cards I sent out this year?

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I think not.

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2. A little blast from the past…. yours truly on Santa’s lap.

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It’s the only such photo I have, as my mother told me I ditched St. Nick at a very early age and refused visits after this one. To those who know me well, this shouldn’t come as any surprise.

Ho! Ho! Hmm….

Pass the eggnog.

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All I wanted for Christmas…

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Was for the Barn Mahal bar to be finished. Seeing that we came home and discovered its beginning framework in place in mid November….

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I didn’t think that would be too much to ask. But alas, our builder didn’t agree.

Oh, he’s sent updates via text messages.

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Like the layout of the rough unfinished boards on his shop floor.

I thought the 3 graduating colors would be interesting…

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Until he sent the next update of those boards being sanded and glued. Bye bye color.

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He assures me work is progressing steadily and that he hasn’t forgotten us, but it seems the only way I’ll be bellying up for a toddy will be like this:

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Cheers!

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Random winter scenes.

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One of these things is not like the others.

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Which makes me wonder what that poor bird did to be ostracized.

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And speaking of wild turkeys, did you know they make excellent snow shovelers?

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We cleared the path but they’re enlarging the dining room.

And speaking of paths…

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Now that the man cave is being readied, more shoveling is required after every storm.

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Welcome… one and all.

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Aside from the wreaths on our home’s windows, this was the extent of my lackluster Christmas decorating this year.

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Snowflakes lights in the Barn Mahal. Battery powered and on a timer.

Ho! Ho! Hum…

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And while Christmas will feel a lot different this year, there are some things to look forward to.

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Random Christmas things that made me laugh.

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Cats rule.

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Thank you kitty, I’ve always hated that elf.

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Ah, Facebook. Why your algorithms think I’m in constant need of this product is a mystery I fear I’ll never solve.

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On the bright side, packing for that trip won’t take as long this year.

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Yes Karen… He’s talking to you.

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Chicken Godzilla. Rampaging through a Christmas village near you…

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It’s 2020…. kiss your visions of sugarplums goodbye.

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Gifts for the booze hounds in your life.

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Christmas is right around the corner and you need a gift for that certain tipsy someone. Allow me to put forth a few suggestions…

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40 bottles should satisfy even the most hardcore wino on your list.

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Wine on the go? It’s definitely an upgrade from that brown paper bagged Manischewitz and Boones Farm you drank as a teenager.

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Because who among us hasn’t lost a perfectly good glass of the grape in the grass?

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Sipping while dipping?

Sign me up.

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I’ve actually tried these, they’re brilliant.

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I’m so down with this. A carry on margarita is a beautiful thing.

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This looks like an intriguing way to chill your beer.

And they can double as drum sticks when Back in Black comes on the radio. A win win.

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A bar and a tree.

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Next week a contractor will be here to build a bar in our barn.

Yes, you read that correctly, a contractor… one we will pay. Actual money. That surprised me since the husband has does most of the Barn Mahal construction himself, but this guy also built the bar at our local pub… so instead of having a spouse made amateur facsimile, we’ll have a serious bar.

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With these giant extremely heavy boards the husband has kept from the original framing back in 2012.

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The boards that have been moved, shifted, relocated, bumped into and cursed for 8 long years…. so all I can say is, yay.

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Of course the other day we had to move them one last time.

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Because my other half wanted to get an idea what the future boozer would look like.

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And yes, that’s a driftwood Christmas tree on the right.

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My girlfriend made it, used it one year, then gave it to me for our porch. Unfortunately we experience a cross breeze from our neighbor’s field equivalent to the Ames research center wind tunnel NASA uses to test its rockets. That tree literally flew. Which is generally not what you want Christmas decorations to do.

So it’s been inside the barn for a few years and despite my pleading that it would be a nice addition to the bar room, husband wants it gone.

Tons of useless rusty crap? He’ll find the room. One unique and quirky decorative tree? Bye bye.

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