Tag Archives: food

I never thought I’d say this..

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But drop what thoust is doing and get thee to the nearest Wal Mart forthwith.

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Yes, that Wal Mart.

And I know, you’ll need to wear blinders or your faith in the human race as a species will spiral down the drain…. but trust me. This time it will be worth it.

Because during a begrudged trip there the other day to buy bird seed since both our local stores were out?

I found this:

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And holy guacamole Batman! There’s a little taste of paradise in every bite. Rich, sweet, and buttery…. I don’t even care if I’ll have to let my pants out at the waist next week.

And if that’s not enough to entice you to walk down Wal Mart’s hallowed halls?

Here’s an added bonus.

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Why it’s important to thoroughly read descriptions.

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I’m an avid reader, some might say voracious. I never feel complete until I’m knee deep in a good book and if I don’t have a stack of at least 10 ready to go? I get twitchy.

Needless to say I live on Amazon and worship their Prime 2 day delivery. (If you mention the word Kindle? You’re dead to me. Reading is, and always will be, a tactile pleasure. Period.)

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About a week ago I did the unthinkable and ran through my unread pile in record time leaving me with *gasp!* only one book unread.

So just as I logged on to cruise the new releases, the husband started hollering at me to go help him with something in the barn. Rushing, I made a few quick picks because bookless is something I can not be. Without fully reading descriptions or reviews, I picked this one about a food critic because it had 4 out of 5 stars.

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Well… technically it is about a food critic. But after sampling an exquisite torta ai fichi e limone, she has raunchy, not to mention quite descriptive, sex with her lover… kills him… and then harvests his tongue to cook and savor later.

Yes. She’s a sexually insatiable Hannibal Lecter.

*Note to self- always read descriptions and reviews*

Things I don’t need.

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I dislike Pepsi and find it sickeningly sweet.

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So Apple Pie Pepsi? That’s a hard pass.

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While this sounded like a cute idea?

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The aesthetics leave a lot to be desired. That looks less like a mouthful of chocolate chip cookie and more like a mouth filled with…. well, never mind.

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Sorry, but my cabinet doors aren’t playing loud music past 10:00 pm or yelling at their husband to pick up his dirty socks. No noise suppression is required.

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First they want me to exercise with rubber bands, now they want me to wrap them around my mattress? I’ll tell you right now…. neither one of those things will be happening anytime soon.

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No.

Just, no.

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My husband shops in the strangest places.

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On our way home from the antique mall the other day, we stopped at a bar.

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You’re shocked, I know.

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One Paloma in…

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The husband started examining bar chairs.

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They were tall, sturdy, rustic… and swiveled.

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Two Palomas, a cup of clam chowder ….

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A Cosmo and a Cajun fried chicken sandwich later….

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The husband decided he wanted these exact chairs for his bar.

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After tracking down the restaurant’s owner we discovered they were custom made by a company an hour and a half away….

So away we went.

To be continued.

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Pandemic humor

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Laughing.

You need to do it…. so it might as well be here.

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I knew I was totally blameless! Now if someone would just tell my waistline…

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If we haven’t, we should .

Like right now.

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Karen. Still causing trouble…

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Not yet mind you, but come January it’s entirely possible.

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I saw a woman buy 13 bottles of bleach last week.

They walk among us.

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I should have known this was coming.

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The Barn Mahal is the gift that keeps on giving. It grows. It changes. It morphs into something I no longer recognize as a barn.

Why do I say this?

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Because last week my husband took me shopping for the next addition to his man cave extraordinaire.

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Yes.

He wants a refrigerator.

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And because he’s a man who demands instant gratification, he wanted to go home with it that day… which we quickly discovered was impossible. Thank you Covid 19…. yet another reason you suck.

All the refrigerators pictured on this blog, every last one of the small barn appropriate models that were on the display floor?

Unavailable.

It was enough to send us to our local pub for a drink… or two, and lunch.

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Which for me was a massive fried haddock sandwich with homemade onion rings. For the husband?

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A tool box and the light filtering blind we bought for the window we always sit in front of. The sun shines through it something fierce and we were tired of our bartender talking to us with his hand over his eyes.

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For this kindness we refused payment… support your local businesses!…but received 4 free drinks when the bill was presented.

A win win.

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And then it was back to the elusive we’ll show it to you but you can’t have it, neener neener refrigerator shopping.

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The absolutely only one anyone had in stock was this small, wonderfully inexpensive model.

The husband vetoed that. Not enough room for beer.

So we spent a fruitless day, visited 7 stores and ended up coming home to order this one online.

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Ample beer storage will be had…

But not for a week or two.

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Egg products no one needs.

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Disclaimer: I am not an egg fan. I cook with them but have never found them the least bit appetizing…. so my take on these products might be slightly skewed.

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Mr. Sneezy?

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No thank you.

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While this one doesn’t gross me out per se…

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They’re something about dropping a group of penguins in boiling water I just can’t get behind.

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Do we need to mold eggs?

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We most certainly do not.

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Barn, Belgian beer and Brussel sprouts.

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We were back in the barn this weekend and ran the new heat pump for the first time. It’s a big space so it took a while to warm up… but the building held the set temperature all day, which means all our stuff and seal each and every god damn gap insulation work…

Worked.

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But there were still a few more windows to trim and that’s when things went downhill.

There was sputtering, mumbling, cursing and okay…. small pieces of wood may or may not have been flung across the room.

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When the wood started flying? I knew it was time for a distraction… so I trudged down to our crap filled underground nightmare basement and retrieved a treasure we purchased a few years ago.

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A neon bar sign from the Ommegang brewery in New York. We stumbled on them when we visited the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown and fell in love with their Belgians.

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https://www.ommegang.com/

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If you’re ever in the area, check out their tasting room in the old barn… and if you’re visiting this time of year? Try my favorite.

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There’s a tavern in Brussels famous for it’s pigeon racing?

Sounds like my kind of place.

And speaking of Brussels…

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When you live across the street from an organic vegetable farmer?

You never know what will show up on your doorstep in the morning.

👍

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Blog number one thousand two hundred twenty whatever, where River chases turkeys.

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Wild turkeys. They’re comical and I love to watch them…

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But then they discovered my deer grain pans.

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I chased them, but half heartedly and with ridiculously cringe worthy baby talk.

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But they’re turkeys, so as soon as I walked in the house and looked out the window? This.

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So I chased them again. And that time they stayed gone for an hour… just long enough for me to put out the nightly deer snack.

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While I don’t mind them coming to eat the dropped bird seed and assorted Casa River insects, they’ve figured out the buffet of deer grain, fruit and fox food is laid out at 3:00pm and this might be a problem.

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