A friend gave my husband a flyer the other day.
It was advertising an upcoming beer and wine tasting benefit.
I like beer!
I like wine!
It sounded like my type of event.
Until I saw where it was being held…
And since I’ve been known to talk to almost anyone while imbibing?
I think we’re going to have to take a hard pass on this one.
We helped a friend move last weekend.
Because… yes.
Moving is hard work.
There’s lots of stuff to pack…
Lots of stuff to lift…
And lots of stuff to push across homemade scrap wood ramps.
What do you mean that’s not how professionals do it?
The silly thing weighed a ton and it got there.
Do we really care how?
No. We do not…
What we do care about is finding random body parts.
Tell me you saw it.
In the picture with my husband carrying the bright blue garden bench? Go back and look, I’ll wait.
……
……
……
A random leg.
And it wasn’t the only one.
The damned things were popping up everywhere.
Bizarre?
A wee bit.
But some of our friends are as well, so it’s to be expected….
It got to be a running joke about where they’d turn up….
So at the end of the day when we were relaxing with beer and bowls of chili?
Naturally we needed a centerpiece.
And P.S….
Just for the record –
As much as I wanted to move their 442 Olds right into my garage at home?
I restrained myself from stealing the keys when they weren’t looking.
That my dear, is the very definition of friendship.
I’ve been known to give some interesting birthdays gifts in my time.
Some elicit laughter, some tears….
Some? Downright befuddlement.
It’s all good.
In the past few years, I’ve gifted my husband with experiences as well as tangible items.
2014 was a beer making lesson.
Friends and family joined us for what I thought would be a laugh a minute celebration…
Ah, look at those happy faces.
(Word of warning – if you’re thinking about trying it? There’s a lot more to beer than drinking. And I don’t recommend any of it.)
Beer drinking? Fun!
Beer making?
Not so much.
It’s a long involved process…. that I completely stopped caring about two hours in.
Poor husband.
Look at him… he had his tasting glass ready and it wasn’t anywhere near finished.
Birthday experience gift rating on a scale of 1 to 10?
4.
Last year I nailed it with a School of Falconry class.
This was fabulous and we both enjoyed it immensely.
Husband got up close and personal with a Harris Hawk and a Peregrine Falcon.
And they were both beautiful creatures.
Learning to handle them can be challenging.
As well as a little intimidating.
Of course, they were nothing compared to the instructor.
She was downright terrifying.
(I think the husband had flashbacks to boot camp and reverted to a quivering PFC before my eyes.)
But baggie of dead quails aside?
An awesome day.
Birthday experience gift rating?
A definite 10!
So this year, along with the rock and other assorted presents…
I gave him a helicopter.
Okay, calm down.
Those babies go for $425,000.
I gave him the experience of learning how to fly a helicopter.
Half an hour class instruction, half an hour flying time with 2 guests.
I’m not sure when we’ll do it, most likely after the weather warms up.
But I’m guessing it’s going to be a good one!
Assuming we don’t die in a flaming fireball of a crash…
That’s bound to reduce the rating.
Have you ever had one of those days when all the signs were pointing somewhere?
Hopefully it’s not there.
I had one of those days last week.
It started when I checked the weather forecast.
Fair enough.
We were out of beer.
And on my way to the grocery store?
Okay, I get it.
Corporate America wants in on everything lately.
But then..
The car that pulled in next to me at the store?
And while not all signs are clear…
I’m guessing the universe did not wish me to remain sober that day.
And one should never argue with the universe.
Or my husband, who brought home an interesting wine that night.
What’s a girl to do?
After our disappointing visit to the (guess I’m not so clever after all) corner in Winslow, we noticed there was a local museum down the road. Small town museums are usually a hoot, filled with ridiculous stuff only the locals care about… and we try never to miss one.
But first, lunch.
Because otherwise Martin will unfriend me.
There weren’t a lot of choices in dear old Winslow, so we picked the one that said beer.
Not that I could drink since my no alcohol order was still in place…but it was probably a good thing, because the beer list was annoying.
Instead of… what?
The beer gets… what?
Fresh orchard like … what?
Open ended sentences do not make me want to order your beer, they make me want to bounce your menu writer’s face off the bar a few times and then force him to finish his description.
And don’t get me started on naming the beers piehole and sex panther. There’s such a thing as trying too hard.
The decor? Early junkyard.
Our hightop table was an upended road sign.
Chipping paint no extra charge.
The menu?
It had the required Eagle references, and some truly awful sounding food.
Armadillo eggs?
Thank you…. No.
The southwest burger I ordered rare was a well done hockey puck… and just about as tender.
The husband’s Caesar salad? A giant bowl of husks.
Thankfully the museum turned out to be much more palatable.
We were greeted by a local woman who gave us the entire history of the town, whether we wanted it or not.
Once a booming Santa Fe railroad stop, and then a profitable Route 66 destination… the town fell on hard times when families stopped piling the kids in station wagons and hitting the road in search of the World’s Largest Ball of Twine. If it weren’t for the Eagles and their silly song, the place would have dried up and blown away long ago.
Mammoth bone.
Because I promised.
Native American beaded shoes.
Because… shoes!
There was a still.
And a box.
I told you this would be fascinating stuff….
Have you ever heard of the Harvey Girls?
I admit I hadn’t, and my mind is full of perfectly useless nonsense trivia so that’s saying something.
(Pay attention… tomorrow’s post will include an actual Harvey House.)
Naturally, there was a locally famous Harvey girl.
And some of her dresses.
There was also an advertisement that pretty much says all you need to know about Winslow, Arizona.
What’s not to love?
Our second brewery of the day was a place that came highly recommended. It got great reviews, and was said to be a “must visit”…so we did.
Oxbow is a larger organization with multiple locations and wider distribution, so I was expecting it to outshine Odd Alewives.
It didn’t.
Tucked away in the woods of Newcastle, it was rustic and a little bit rednecky.
Well, I didn’t hear banjo music…
But the place was a bit of a mess.
And the rest rooms?
Not what a girl wants to see when she’s been drinking beer and riding a motorcycle all day.
But, we were there.
And there was beer, so we didn’t have to but I made them had to try it all.
Eight 4 ounce samplers of dishwater later… I still hadn’t found one I would order full sized. How was that possible?
The one on the end was called Magenta and was made with… are you ready?… grape juice.
It smelled like sweet grape candy and tasted like fermented pigs feet, sour piss, rotted muskrat carcass I don’t know what.
But trust me, it was bad.
I ended up finishing everyone’s samplers, because bad or not… beer is a terrible thing to waste…. but I was thinking of alternate uses as I drank.
And then, since our friends had a long ride home, we saddled up and headed out.
And bad beer aside…
It really was a lovely day.
We love craft beer, and we love discovering quirky new breweries. It’s a rapidly growing industry in Maine and we tend to take full advantage.
First stop on Sunday was Odd Alewives in Waldoboro.
An alewife is a fish.
And thankfully, there weren’t any in the beer.
This was a brand new, small batch brewery run out of a renovated 1850’s barn on a young couple’s farm.
It was literally on their front lawn.
And absolutely not motorcycle friendly. A steep gravel (not good!) driveway and a sloping parking lot is not what 2 wheels and 850lbs wants to find.
But the brewery was wonderful, with a lovely laid back vibe.
And the tasting room/bar was fun.
Of course my purist husband looked like this….
When he saw they had painted the old barn board floors….
But after a few samplings, he got over it.
We did flights and tried all they had on tap before choosing.
The Buzz and Blue were delightfully light and refreshing, while the Spell was deep and full bodied.
There was live folk music, and it really felt like you were just hanging at a friend’s house knocking back a few. I wanted to take my beer and walk around the farm gardens…. but I was out voted and we moved on to brewery #2.
