You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

 

I love my state, I really do.

Maine has beautiful scenery, clean air, quaint villages, a huge craft beer industry and lobster I can’t eat….

 

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But we also have a thirst for knowledge.

And classes for almost everything… as proved by the local continuing education brochure I received last week.

 

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(There’s an ass on the cover named Jack Cass, you know it’s going to be good.)

Alongside the normal foreign language and computer courses there are some Maine-centric things like boat captaining and crossbow hunting, but I’m going to focus on the odd. The funny. And the downright bizarre.

 There are too many seriously wackadoodle choices for one blog, so it’s going to be a weekly series until I run out of ridiculousness. Let’s begin.

Class #1 :

Quantum Spoonbending.

Yes, you read that correctly. The description is as follows…

“What is the value of this spoon bending class? If, with very little training, you can easily bend a spoon that you could not easily bend before (if at all), then you can begin to see how powerful you actually are! Learn to access the subtle energy field that surrounds us all. The metal softening mechanisms you will learn in this class are actually quantum mechanics techniques you can transfer to enhance your daily life. This is the same energy field ancient and new age healers are accessing to perform healings and miracles. You will learn and practice several different techniques that will not only allow you to bend spoons, but allow you to experience inducing other changes in material reality. Learn how healers have been able to mend broken bones instantaneously and see how it might be possible for you to perform miracles in your own life. There is a $10 materials fee payable to the instructor at the start of class. No discounts.”

Let’s break this down –

1) Do I need a spoon to realize how powerful I really am?

Doubtful.

 

 

2) Transferable techniques to enhance my daily life.

Really?

 

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(Sorry, I couldn’t resist)

3)  If it’s the same process people are using to perform healing and miracles… why would I be happy just bending a damned spoon?

 

 

4)  A $10 material fee with no discounts.

   But… but…

What if I bring my own spoon?

 

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Classes start  Nov. 7th  6-8:30

Duration 3 weeks.

29 thoughts on “You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.”

  1. … gee. I woke up this morning thinking gee I would sure like to bend a few spoons with my mind. But I think it would seriously hork Snookums off if I started bending her silverware, so I settled for making coffee disappear from the mug.

    Like

  2. Omg! Is this for real, or have you made up your very funny list!? I’m serious 😂 It’s really made me giggle., do they really want 10 pounds for a spoon pack? 😂

    Like

  3. Oh wow 🙂 you’ve got to go ! You can then teach the rest of us? Nothing would please me more at the moment than an international spoon bending correspondence course.
    …pleeeeeeeease
    😀 😉 😀 😉 😀

    Liked by 1 person

      1. … a life lived without harnessing your very own quantum mechanics spoon bending style. 🙂
        Consider the possibilities. You could join the X men?

        Like

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