Tag Archives: education

Let’s Talk Chicken… chapter 2.

 

Admit it, you’d thought I’d forgotten about this series.

 

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Well, I didn’t.

And in case you missed chapter 1…

Let’s talk chicken…

Onward!

Chapter 2.

 

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Chicken etiquette.

(Be honest…

Where else can you find quality blog content like this?

No where, that’s where.)

 

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Chickens are the most common bird on earth.

And since they out number us by 43 billion?

You might want to pay attention.

The uprising could come any day now.

 

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Pecking order is important… and not always based on size. Scientists believe breed, intelligence and personality allow chickens to size up other members of the flock. Knowing your place is what it’s all about.

The usual hen house order goes like this:

 

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The rooster is king.

Let’s call him Jon…

 

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Next is the head hen…

 

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We shall call her Sansa.

 

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Then there’s the sentinel.

 

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Whose name is Arya.

 

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And finally, the weak bottom dweller…

 

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Who, of course… is named Theon.

 

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(Hey, it’s Game of Thrones final season…

It can’t all be about chickens.)

But here’s a tidbit of trivia you probably could have gone all day without knowing.

 

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Cold hearted bitches, chickens.

But who can blame her when a man with better hair comes along?

 

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Still drinking, still knowing…

 

Still have to share my ridiculously useless knowledge.

 

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Did you know….

 

1.   The little dot over a lower case  is called a tittle.

 

(There won’t be any memes to accompany that precious nugget of information.

Google image searching for the word “tittle” led me in some very disturbing directions.)

 

2.   An octopus will eat it’s own arms if it gets hungry enough.

But Hell….

I think we’ve all been tempted to do that at one time or another, no?

 

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3.  In 1900 the third leading cause of death was diarrhea.

Aren’t you glad you started reading this blog?

 

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4.  Winnie the Pooh was based on a real life female bear named Winnie who lived in the London Zoo.

 

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5.  The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by the Egyptians in 2000 BCE.

 

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I don’t know about you, but crocodile dung would definitely be enough to kill the mood for me.

 

6.  Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.

Really?

Orchids I could understand. They’re fussy, creepy, high maintenance flowers that look like they want to bite off your finger.

But ferns?

They’re delightful..

 

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7.   Buzz Aldrin’s mother’s maiden name was Moon.

How’s that for serendipity?

 

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8.  If you live in Michigan, it is illegal to put a skunk in your boss’s desk.

Sorry Detroiters…

I’m sure that’s very disappointing news.

 

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The greatest story ever… shown?

 

While I’ve been known to Bitmoji on occasion….

 

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And used to see the appeal of texting miniature versions of myself to friends…

 

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I read something this afternoon that made me do a double take.

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Yes.

There is now a Bitmoji Bible.

 

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“In the year of our Lord 2019, someone recreated the Bible through Bitmoji. The Bitmoji Bible is more of a collection of a handful of stories found in Jewish and Christian holy scriptures than an actual translation told exclusively through Bitmoji. While much of the actually philosophical passages aren’t included — how are you supposed to discuss promises of salvation through a few cartoon characters? — you might recognize more well known myths, like the story of David and Goliath. “ 

 

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Now I’m not a religious woman, and I admit to never having read the good book cover to cover…. but I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess David never said “Hey Boo” to the giant Philistine.

 

 

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And if there was a Garden of Eden?

I somehow doubt their trees were in pots.

 

 

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“Today’s children are more likely to read a text message than a book,” co-creator Daniel Eckler said through Twitter DM. “Given the Bible has been translated into more than 3000 languages, I thought it should be translated into one of the most popular contemporary languages.”

 

 

Jesus wept.

Repeat after me…

Bitmoji is not a contempary language, it’s a collection of bad cartoons.

 

 

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Quoting an excerpt from Genesis about the whole world speaking the same language, Eckler believes it’s “important to speak to people in their language.”

 

 

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So help me out here…
Is that Joseph?
And is he spitting his coffee out because Mary just told him about the immaculate conception?  

 

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He notes that his goal isn’t necessarily to evangelize, but rather to open the door to higher thinking for people who may not already be interested in it — he references biblical redemption themes in Star Wars and The Matrix. “Not to say they’re substitutes, but as long as people are seeking spiritual truths,” Eckler said. “I think they’ll find them where they find them.” 
Let me get this straight…. to understand Christianity I don’t have to read the bible.
I just have to sit through The Empire Strikes Back?
Well if that’s the case…

 

 

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I’m watching Game of Thrones instead.

 

 

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It has mythical beasts, devout believers and frowned upon sex as well.  
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You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.

 

I was cleaning out my desk the other day and found an old brochure for Adult Education.

Then I remembered I’d started a series on some of the more interesting classes when I first started blogging here…

 

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

 

Yes, you can learn some weird things in Maine.

So let’s continue….

 

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Good.

I’m glad someone is.

Today’s class?

Mindfulness.

 

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O-kay.

The definition?

1. the quality or state of being conscious

 

So let me get this straight…

For $95, and over the course of 6 weeks, they’re going to teach me to be conscious?

To be honest, that’s not usually something I have a problem with…. unless I’ve had too much to drink.

 

 

And as I read the class description I kept picturing this:

 

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But for the hell of it, I tried practicing being in the moment…

And it didn’t seem too difficult.

 

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And I figured…

I got this.

Who needs a class?

 

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Yeah.

It didn’t work.

But that’s okay, I’d much rather buy $95 worth of Girl Scout Cookies anyway…..

Even better than rocks…

 

I’ve been known to give some interesting birthdays gifts in my time.

Some elicit laughter, some tears….

Some? Downright befuddlement.

It’s all good.

In the past few years, I’ve gifted my husband with experiences as well as tangible items.

2014 was a beer making lesson.

 

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Friends and family joined us for what I thought would be a laugh a minute celebration…

 

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Ah, look at those happy faces.

(Word of warning –  if you’re thinking about trying it? There’s a lot more to beer than drinking. And I don’t recommend any of it.)

Beer drinking? Fun!

Beer making?

 

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Not so much.

It’s a long involved process…. that I completely stopped caring about two hours in.

 

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Poor husband.

Look at him… he had his tasting glass ready and it wasn’t anywhere near finished.

Birthday experience gift rating on a scale of 1 to 10?

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Last year I nailed it with a School of Falconry class.

This was fabulous and we both enjoyed it immensely.

 

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Husband got up close and personal with a Harris Hawk and a Peregrine Falcon.

And they were both beautiful creatures.

 

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Learning to handle them can be challenging.

 

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As well as a little intimidating.

Of course, they were nothing compared to the instructor.

 

 

She was downright terrifying.

(I think the husband had flashbacks to boot camp and reverted to a quivering PFC before my eyes.)

But baggie of dead quails aside?

 

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An awesome day.

Birthday experience gift rating?

A definite 10!

 

So this year, along with the rock and other assorted presents…

I gave him a helicopter.

 

 

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Okay, calm down.

Those babies go for $425,000.

I gave him the experience of learning how to fly a helicopter.

Half an hour class instruction, half an hour flying time with 2 guests.

I’m not sure when we’ll do it, most likely after the weather warms up.

But I’m guessing it’s going to be a good one!

Assuming we don’t die in a flaming fireball of a crash…

That’s bound to reduce the rating.

 

 

 

It’s that time again…

 

 

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Let’s begin.

1.  John Quincy Adams went skinny dipping in the Potomac on his 79th birthday.

 

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If this mental image has to be stuck in my head?

I want it to be stuck in yours as well.

 

2.  After eating, the common housefly regurgitates it’s food and eats it again.

Because sometimes, pizza is just that good.

 

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3.  Charlie Brown’s father is a barber.

Admit it, you never knew that.

You’re welcome.

 

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4.  A barnacle has the largest penis of any other animal in relation to it’s size.

Oddly enough, this is a question that’s rarely asked in trivia games.

And Lord knows, I’ve been waiting to dazzle crowds with my barnacle member dimension knowledge for years.

 

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5.   There’s a town in Texas called Ding Dong.

Truly, there is.

It’s north of Austin.

 

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And I have a question for Texas bloggers…

WTH?

 

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I’m all for being proud of your home town, but….

Damn.

 

 

 

Let’s talk chicken…

 

As promised.

 

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Yes, we’re really doing this.

 

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Chapter 1.

 

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Having had many one sided chicken conversations, I was looking forward to this.

 

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Chicken cheerleaders…

Who knew?

 

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Apparently Animal Planet, who features them in the annual Puppy Bowl.

Though they do need to work on their pom pom skills a bit.

 

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And here I thought the only variety of peeps worth noting came at Easter.

 

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Tidbitting?

 

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I love learning new words.

 

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While I’ve had various roosters chase me over the years, I never once thought to challenge them to a dance off.

 

 

But clearly,  they’ve got moves.

 

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So it’s official… my spirit animal is a chicken.

I love to sunbathe as well.

 

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*Note to self – do not Google sunbathing chicken or you will find one on the menu of a restaurant in Japan, complete with dipping sauce and white bread beach chair.*

 

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This is educational stuff!

So the next time you hear a chicken say Buh-dup?

I expect you to politely return the greeting…. with a silent prayer of thanks to me for the translation.

 

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Why yes.

Yes, I am.