Tag Archives: education

I bought a book.

 

No, that isn’t news.

I’m an avid reader and am probably personally responsible for Jeff Bezos’s ranking on the Fortune 500.

 

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But this book was special.

 

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As you may know, I have a fondness for chickens.

It started years ago when our farming neighbor moved in across the street and asked us to baby chicken sit.

Matter of fact, here’s a picture of the husband trying to speak to those first chickens.

 

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As you can see, it didn’t go well. The chickens weren’t paying attention.

Were his conversational skills severely lacking…

Or did he just not speak their language?

The chickens might have been saying all kinds of fascinating things!

 

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Or not.

The point is we didn’t know.

And as the flocks grew larger…

 

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We made friends…

 

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But the language barrier was problematic.

My pathetic attempts at cooing were for naught.

 

 

Clearly the birds had something to say.

Possibly deep, philosophical things….

 

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But we couldn’t decipher it.

Until now.

 

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So join me on the journey.

 

 

And we’ll explore these topics.

 

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Admit it.

There have been times you’ve wanted to chat up a chicken too.

 

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It will be fun…

 

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Class is in session.

 

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I admit when I chose this week’s course I thought it was a joke.

But clearly I am woefully uninformed because Pickleball really is a thing.

 

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Beginner Pickleball.

Have you heard the buzz about Pickleball and wondered what it was all about? Come learn to play this wonderful paddle sport, suitable for all ages. Taught by an experienced tennis professional who has become a Pickleball devotee, this class will have you playing in no time. Paddles and balls supplied. Bring tennis shoes to put on when you arrive (no street shoes allowed on the courts).

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Pickleball?

I had visions of this:

 

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But no…. it really does exist.

There are courts, equipment, instructors, a magazine and evidently…

Nomenclature.

 

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After doing a little research, I discovered it’s a rather slow paced game primarily embraced by the retired set.

Although not without it’s vanguard.

 

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And hey,  if you’re lucky enough to live in Pittsburgh…

(Yes, I said that with a straight face.)

 

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So maybe I’d better get a jump on my sunset years, grab a ball and start pickling.

Who’s with me?

Wednesdays  5:30-7:30 pm for 6 weeks.

$59/$64  Non refundable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

 

 

It’s that time again.

 

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Maine continuing education says tone up your Chakra!

 

 

Oops… my bad. Not that kind of toning.

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Toning for Chakras and Wellbeing

Your voice is one of the most powerful tools of all to reset your entire being to natural healthy patterns. One of the most powerful ways of using the voice to stimulate healing is called toning. In this class you will be introduced to a number of different systems for toning your chakras. We will complete one full sequence together, it is simple, easy and really feels good. No discounts.

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Apologies to all the new age spiritual healers out there, but this sounds like utter nonsense.

Even the description is lame. “… simple, easy and really feels good.”

Well I’ve got news for you, so do Jello shots and I don’t need to pay anyone to teach me how to do them. Tip, swallow, repeat. Easy peasy.

Granted my Chakra is probably not up to date….

 

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Or properly aligned.

 

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But to be honest, I really don’t care.

Heck you can do a quick tune up online for free….

 

 

Why pay for a class?

Besides, I tone my voice at home all the time. Why, just the other day I chanted Nooooooo! for a full two minutes when I realized we were out of Klondike Bars.

It was quite cleansing.

Not to mention cheaper.

1 session, Thursday Nov. 15  6:00-8:00pm

$35 non refundable.

 

 

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

 

It’s that time again.

 

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This week’s class:

Ukulele Extravaganza, Beginner

For many years the happy instrument so closely associated with Hawaii has been experiencing a huge revival around the world. Here is your chance to take part in the ukulele revolution. Folks of all adult ages will enjoy playing this very cool but accessible instrument. In this class students will learn to read music and play songs by picking and strumming. No prior musical experience is necessary. The instructor taught instrumental music at the Middle School from 1986-2017 and after taking a leave of absence to study music therapy at Arizona State University in 2008, she fell in love with playing the ukulele! She studies ukulele with master luthier/performer/teacher, Joel Eckhaus in South Portland, the Hawaiian masters at the Aloha Music Camp in Hawaii, and at the Ukulele Summit in Bethesda, Maryland.

Again…  this is a real part of the curriculum.

And yes, you too can learn to play the Ukulele and be the envy of all your friends.

 

 

So let’s break this down:

How have I missed the huge Ukulele revival?

What have I been doing….

 

 

Okay, sure.

But the Ukulele revolution?

 I wasn’t that busy…

 

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Well, maybe.

Although calling the Ukulele a cool instrument may be stretching the truth a bit.

 

 

But if you want to  drive your immediate social circle to drink and get yourself crossed off every guest list from now on  be a hit at parties, give Maine continuing education a try.

 

 

Classes start Mon, Sept 17, 6-7 PM, for 9 weeks

$59 non refundable.

You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.

 

In my continuing effort to enlighten…

Let’s dive a little deeper into continuing education.

 

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Last week’s spoon bending was a hit,  You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

And while this week’s class may be a little Maine-centric…. isn’t that half the fun?

So grab your taters and let’s go to school.

 

 

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Spud Night – I’ve Got My Eyes on You!

If you are a Mainer (or from away) who is stuck in a potato rut, you will want to join us! We will learn how to choose the correct potato variety for use, see and taste many grown varieties and taste Roasted Fingerling potatoes. The class will make Swiss Rosti Potatoes, warm German Potato salad and Sweet Potato Puree with Smoked Paprika. The evening will be both demonstration and hands on. Bring a peeler and sealed tubs to take home leftovers (if there are any!)

$10 material fee included. No discounts

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Again, yes. This is real.

There is actually a course on potatoes.

 

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And admit it, you’re stuck in a potato rut.

We all are.

Hell, even Mr. Potato Head needs an update now and then.

 

 

Look how downright creepy he started out.

 

 

Would you let your child on the playground with that moustache twirling tater?

Of course not, so grab your peeler and get to class.

Thurs, Oct 25, 6-9 PM

1 Session

 

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You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

 

I love my state, I really do.

Maine has beautiful scenery, clean air, quaint villages, a huge craft beer industry and lobster I can’t eat….

 

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But we also have a thirst for knowledge.

And classes for almost everything… as proved by the local continuing education brochure I received last week.

 

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(There’s an ass on the cover named Jack Cass, you know it’s going to be good.)

Alongside the normal foreign language and computer courses there are some Maine-centric things like boat captaining and crossbow hunting, but I’m going to focus on the odd. The funny. And the downright bizarre.

 There are too many seriously wackadoodle choices for one blog, so it’s going to be a weekly series until I run out of ridiculousness. Let’s begin.

Class #1 :

Quantum Spoonbending.

Yes, you read that correctly. The description is as follows…

“What is the value of this spoon bending class? If, with very little training, you can easily bend a spoon that you could not easily bend before (if at all), then you can begin to see how powerful you actually are! Learn to access the subtle energy field that surrounds us all. The metal softening mechanisms you will learn in this class are actually quantum mechanics techniques you can transfer to enhance your daily life. This is the same energy field ancient and new age healers are accessing to perform healings and miracles. You will learn and practice several different techniques that will not only allow you to bend spoons, but allow you to experience inducing other changes in material reality. Learn how healers have been able to mend broken bones instantaneously and see how it might be possible for you to perform miracles in your own life. There is a $10 materials fee payable to the instructor at the start of class. No discounts.”

Let’s break this down –

1) Do I need a spoon to realize how powerful I really am?

Doubtful.

 

 

2) Transferable techniques to enhance my daily life.

Really?

 

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(Sorry, I couldn’t resist)

3)  If it’s the same process people are using to perform healing and miracles… why would I be happy just bending a damned spoon?

 

 

4)  A $10 material fee with no discounts.

   But… but…

What if I bring my own spoon?

 

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Classes start  Nov. 7th  6-8:30

Duration 3 weeks.